A Potato (Beaches 1988 Movie Review)

Grab your tissues, call your best friend, Bette Midler is talking. Kat and Ryley bond over Kat's 'Movies You Watch with Your Mom' pick, Beaches (1988)

Review Overview: Bette Midler is the absolute best part of this movie, aside from the soundtrack. It is the perfect movie to watch with your best friend.
Sometimes the emotional parts of the movie might come off as manipulative, but it's worth the tears.
Cece definitely is not the selfish one in that friendship, Hillary is a terrible friend. The fact that the movie pushes the notion that Cece is selfish or ever in the wrong is icky from today's perspective.
Overall, Beaches is an emotional tale that will make you want to sing Wind Beneath My Wings from the top of your lungs.
Kat: 9/10
Ryley: 7/10

Both: [00:00:00] Hello,

Kat: and welcome to 

Both: Easy Bake Takes, 

Ryley: the podcast! 

Kat: Where we read you the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. My name's Kat, 

Ryley: And I'm Ryley. 

Kat: And I picked the theme of movies that you would watch with your mom. Grab your tissues. We're watching Beaches. 

Ryley: Sit down. 

Kat: Sit down. Bette Midler's talking. Okay. So this movie was rated PG 13. I also saw somewhere else that it was rated R. I don't know if which one I'm sure I don't. 

Ryley: I mean, there's not even language. There's no nudity. There's no, I don't know why it would be rated R. Unless we missed something. 

Kat: Yeah. They cut like pretty inappropriate stuff out of the book and didn't even include it in the movie.

Ryley: [00:01:00] Mm. 

Kat: I don't know, but this movie's two hours and three minutes long and it's categorized as a dramedy. And the premise of Beaches is, New York actress and singer CC bloom receives a note during a rehearsal for her upcoming LA concert. She leaves in a panic to travel to be at her friend, San Francisco heiress and lawyer, Hillary Whitney's side. She's unable to get a flight to San Francisco because of fog. So she rents a car and begins to reflect on her lifelong friendship with Hillary. The two met in 1958 under the boardwalk on the beach in Atlantic City, New Jersey. And as this happens, the song Under the Boardwalk plays. Fitting, right? 

Ryley: So fitting. I was, I was, I was not surprised when the song.

Kat: Under the boardwalk. 

Ryley: Boardwalk. 

Kat: Boardwalk. So they meet under this boardwalk in Atlantic city. And Hillary is lost, trying to find her way back to her hotel. And CC is smoking a cigarette under the boardwalk while hiding from her stage mother Leonna. Yes. 

Ryley: I wanna say when that shot [00:02:00] happened, we see, uh, CC underneath the boardwalk. It looks like something from the movie It.

Kat: It does. 

Ryley: She looks like she's about to take her. 

Kat: Hiya Georgie.

Ryley: So scary.

Kat: Hiya, Hillary. But CC is smoking a cigarette under the boardwalk, trying to hide from her overbearing stage mother, Leona. The two become fast friends and they grow up and bond through letters of support to each other. Hillary grows up to be a human rights lawyer while CC tries to get her singing career to take off one night. Hillary shows up at a New York city dive bar where CC is performing. This is their first time meeting since Atlantic city Hillary moves in with CC and starts working with the ACLU. CC is discovered while performing singing telegrams by John, the artistic director of the Falcon players, after she sings his birthday telegram in a bunny suit. A love triangle forms as John and Hillary have an instant connection to one another, leaving CC to begin resenting her best friend. On the opening night of CC's first lead role, Hillary and John sleep [00:03:00] together. CC, distraught, is brought home by the police after she gets arrested for public intoxication out of reaction to Hillary and John. 

Ryley: That's a little unrealistic, they would not, they would not taxi you home. 

Kat: no. 

Ryley: They would not do that. 

Kat: When Hillary returns home to care for her sick father, the two resolve their issues about John. After her father passes, Hillary spends time at her family beach house with lawyer Michael Essex and eventually marries him. Boo boo. 

Ryley: Boo. I hated it. 

Kat: CC and John begins spending more time together and start dating and eventually marry. Hillary and Michael travel to New York to see CC perform on Broadway. CC finds out that Hillary has stopped working as a lawyer and accuses her of giving up on her dreams. Hillary accuses, CC of being obsessed with her career.

Ryley: Ugh. 

Kat: After the argument, Hillary ignores CC's letters and throws herself into being a dutiful, but unchallenged wife. John confront CC about her self-centeredness and career obsession telling her he feels like he's being [00:04:00] left behind and he asks for a divorce. CC turns to her mother for advice and her mother tells her that she has given up a lot for her daughter and CC begins to understand the effect that her selfishness has on the ones she loves. Hillary discovers, Michael has been cheating and goes to make contact with CC, who's performing in San Francisco. They catch up and discover that they both were secretly jealous of each other for years. Hillary tells CC she is pregnant and has decided to raise the baby as a single parent. This wins her admiration from CC who promised us to stay and help her. CC begins talking about settling down and starting a family and going as far as become engaged to Hillary's obstetrician. However, CC leaves both the doctor and Hillary for a comeback gig in New York city. Hillary gives birth to her daughter and names, her Victoria Cecilia. When Victoria is a young girl, Hillary develops viral cardiomyopathy and requires a heart transplant like her own mother. She discovers she has a rare tissue type and will most likely die before they find [00:05:00] her a heart. CC continues to rise to fame, winning a Tony award and has completed her latest album. When she learns of Hillary's illness, she accompanies Hillary and Victoria to their beach house for the summer. Hillary becomes depressed due to her debilitated state and takes out her frustration on CC, who is bonding with Victoria. Hillary eventually begins to accept her prognosis and appreciates her time with Victoria and CC. Hillary and Victoria return home to San Francisco and CC heads to LA for her concert. Hillary collapses, and is found by Victoria leading to the note CC received at the beginning. CC arrives and takes the two to their beach house where Hillary die. After the funeral CC takes custody of Victoria and the two console each other in their grief. CC goes forward with her concert and concludes by singing the glory of love, which was the first song Hillary heard her sing 30 years ago. As the song ends, CC tearfully waves towards the sky and tribute to her. After the show, she leaves hand in hand with Victoria and begins telling stories of when she first met her mother. The end. And cry. 

Ryley: Yep. 

Kat: So this movie was [00:06:00] directed by Garry Marshall, who directed The Princess Diaries, Pretty Woman, Runaway Rride. And he played the man who was dressed as Satan in Hocus Pocus. 

Ryley: Oh my God. Are you serious? 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: Oh, I love that. I love that so much. 

Kat: And he was uncredited for it, but it was him. 

Ryley: I love that. That's so fantastic. 

Kat: And then this was written by Mary Agnes Donahue and the novel Beaches was written by Iris Rainer Dart. And the cast Bette Midler plays. Cecillia Carol Bloom, Barbara Hershey plays Hillary Whitney, Myam Bialik plays young Cecilia, and you might recognize her from shows like big bang theory and blossom and Grace Johnston plays, Victoria Celia Essex. John Herd plays John Pierce, Lainie Kazan plays Leona Bloom. And she's actually only a few years older than Bette Midler actually. 

Ryley: Oh, that's funny. Did they put makeup on her? Because I remember like she had like a lot of wrinkles underneath her eyes that she didn't have. I'm like, oh, that's gotta be like makeup and all that. Yeah. 

Kat: Yeah. And then lastly, Spalding Gray placed Dr. Richard Millstein who's the obstetrician. So this movie did not do well [00:07:00] critically, but it did really well at the box office. Had a 20 million budget, made 57 million at the box office. Which it pissed me off to read negative reviews of this movie. I'm not gonna lie.

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: But some trivia, the film's theme song Wind Beneath My Wings hit number one on the billboard hot 100 charts and won Grammy awards for record of the year and song of the year in 1990. And then in 2017 lifetime announced that they were doing a remake of the movie during Idina Menzel as the role of CC. Nia Long as the role of Hillary. I've never watched that version. So I don't know if it's good. 

Ryley: Hmm. 

Kat: And then a sequel based on the 1991 novel beaches, two I'll be there was planned with Barbara Eden, but they never filmed it. 

Ryley: Hmm. Okay. 

Kat: And then Mayim Bialik did not actually sing on camera because Bette Midler wanted someone that actually sounded like her singing at that age. So they used someone else's voice. And then initially Laney Kain did not wanna play CC's mother, but she said yes. So she could work with Bette Midler, which fair. 

Ryley: Oh, okay. Okay. 

Kat: The story of Otto Titzling and Phillip de [00:08:00] Brassiere is an urban legend created by British humorist Wallace Rayburn in 1971 in his book Bust Up the uplifting tale of Otto Titzling. In fact, the brassiere was developed by various French fashion designers from ladies corsets of the 19th century. The term brassiere is derived from the French braciere and named for an armored military breast plate and the musical number auto tit sling is omitted for most TV airings of the movie. 

Ryley: That's funny. I like that. 

Kat: Hilarious. I love it.

Ryley: I, I just love that. She's like, it's disgusting. It's it's it's it's sleazy. It's it's gonna make me a star. I like, I love that. 

Kat: Yes. Yes. Barbara Hershey got collagen injections to look younger for this role. 

Ryley: Good for her. 

Kat: Yeah, good for her. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: She looked great. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: And then this is the first project of Midler's production company. And then lastly, Mayim Bialik and Marcy Leeds made a spoof free make of their scenes from the movie as adults. And both women have gone on to achieve great things in entertainment and science, [00:09:00] but neither of them have ever forgotten that the movie beaches and the two reunited in August of 2016, shortly after the death of director, Garry Marshall to honor his memory by reenacting their scenes from the movie.

Ryley: Aww. 

Kat: So what are your opinions and thoughts? 

Ryley: Okay. Where to start? Okay. So the whole thing in the movie where CC is labeled as this like selfish person. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: I don't agree with that. Like, okay. Maybe she, yeah, she likes a little too much attention, but like, I don't think that's a crime. I don't think that's horrible. Especially I'm sorry. I feel like that's just everyone. Everyone wants a little attention. And I, okay another thing I thought Hillary's name was Whitney through like half of the movie for some reason. 

Kat: Well, cuz yeah, she, when she meets her again, she's like Whitney, Hillary, Whitney, like it's confusing. 

Ryley: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cuz I could have sworn or heard her call her whitney and I was like, what? 

Kat: Yeah. It's her last name, but yeah, that's confusing. She's she's one of those rich people. That's got a first name, last name. 

Ryley: Yeah. I think Hillary's a bad friend in my opinion. She first on CC's [00:10:00] opening hit night, you know on broad, you know, she does that show she does that amazing performance instead of celebrating her achievement, she goes and sleeps with the director. 

Kat: Exactly. Yeah. Even if CC didn't have feelings for the director, it's still kind of shitty to, to sneak off and go fuck this dude while she's like trying to celebrate her opening night. 

Ryley: And like her big success and all that, like. That's shitty. Okay. One thing Bette Midler did. So she had to leave to go take care of her father or, and then CC had to take care of her plants of Hillary's plants. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: She's doing a fine job. And then she just chunks 'em in the, in the trash at one plant. I'm like, those are perfectly alive. They are no reason to be chunking over the trash.

Kat: My favorite parts of this movie though, like every time I go to water, my ZZ plant that's holding on for dear life. I go, suicide. What she says up where she throws it away. 

Ryley: Exactly. I'm like, those are perfectly alive. You did not have to do that. 

Kat: That would be me if you asked me to watch your plants, I'd be like, Hmm. 

Ryley: She has giant the [00:11:00] biggest sunglasses I've ever seen on a person. And I want them desperately. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: They cover her whole face and I want them so bad.

Kat: where do you think I got most of my personality. It was from her in this movie. 

Ryley: So a little later in the movie, when she gets a little bit more successful, she marries John and then they have that apartment that, that red apartment. She's got Cruella vibes, huge Cruella vibes in that scene. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: And, and, and I got a little confused, cause I thought she did play Cruella in 1996, but that was, who was that?

Kat: Oh, oh, oh Glenn something. Glenn Close. 

Ryley: Glenn Close. 

Kat: It was Glenn Close. Who's phenomenal as Cruella DeVille. 

Ryley: She's great in it. I thought it was Bette, I got confused thought it was Bette Midler, but it wasn't. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: Uh, but huge Cruella vibe. I really like that a lot. Same sequence, same timeline. Hillary comes up, comes to town with Michael to see CC and John, and she just starts flirting with John openly in front of CC and her husband uh, strike number two, Hillary [00:12:00] Jesus christ.

Kat: But it's in front of her cheater husband. So. 

Ryley: No, she didn't know. You know- okay. Forget about Michael she's flirting with John in front of CC, blatantly. 

Kat: That's. Yes. Yeah. 

Ryley: That's shitty. And then they're in the department store and she's being rude to her. And so she's obsessed with her career. First off. That's not a feminist viewpoint. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: If she wants to be, if she wants to be career driven, she's allowed to be. And that doesn't mean she's obsessed with it. She wants a career. She wants to be successful. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: There's nothing wrong with that. And, uh, CC says, oh, I wanna be a mother. And she goes, well, you have to also take care of it and not just want it. Oh my God. How does she not get punched? Oh my God. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: So rude for no reason. 

Kat: Pretty privilege. That's all it is. 

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: Villain. Villain. 

Ryley: I had a problem with John he leaves CC because she outgrew him successfully career wise. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: And he felt, what do you call it? Inferior, I guess to that. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: It was like, I don't wanna be with you if you're gonna [00:13:00] be more successful than me. And then in the same breath goes, well, I am part of your success. I'm the, I'm the reason why you were successful in the same breath. 

Kat: I get what you're saying, cuz like she has to feel like she has to like come crawling back. He has to extend the hand for her to come back. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: It's not like she's doing him a fucking favor by even being in his stupid off Broadway play.

Ryley: Exactly. Exactly. I really hated. I really hated that. 

Kat: No, I get that. I get that. I've never really thought about it that way. I'm just like singing along the whole time. 

Ryley: Exactly. And then Hillary, the only reason she goes to me, cuz she's not reading any of her letters. I mean CC's letters. she only goes to see her- 

Kat: When she has something.

Ryley: When, when she, well, well, she doesn't have a husband anymore. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: When she finds out he's cheating on her. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: That's the only time she comes back to 'em. 

Kat: When she's alone. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm uh. 

Kat: When like her, when her life's falling apart, she can go take back up this friendship. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: But when CC's life is falling apart, she has to go fight it out on her own.

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: Her dog died right after she got divorced. [00:14:00] 

Ryley: That's so, yeah, she didn't know who Arthur was. 

Kat: Yeah you don't even know her dog's fucking name. 

Ryley: Yeah. You met the dog. 

Kat: Yeah. I thought you were supposed to be lifelong friends. 

Ryley: Yeah. The only thing that or CC did that I, that was kind of shitty. She, she left to have Hillary dump her fiance for her, the doctor. That was the only fucked up thing that CC did. Cause that's pretty shitty. 

Kat: But did she deserve to be able to do that? Yes. 

Ryley: Yeah. Cuz she kind of owed her and she asked nicely, she asked nicely if she could do it. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: So that was the only thing that sucked, but she did ask nicely and she was there the whole time to help her through her pregnancy. She was there for the birth, even though she did faint. She did kinda take some. 

Kat: She took some attention. 

Ryley: Took a little attention. Hey, but those are bad doctors. Those are the one they should have never left the pregnant women alone. So don't blame Bette Midler. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Blame the doctors blame your shitty doctors. 

Kat: Exactly. Like she fainted get one of you 

Ryley: Sue the hospital. 

Kat: One of you, one of you go, not all of you. 

Ryley: One person. One person. 

Kat: She has to do her lamaze breathing by herself because [00:15:00] you idiots had to go help this woman who fainted. 

Ryley: A Shitty doctor. Yeah. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: Bette Midler remind like there's many, many scenes in this movie where she reminds me so much of Barbra Streisand and Lady Gaga, especially that ending scene where she, you know, she's singing the last song. It cuts like a. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. A Star is Born. 

Ryley: A Star is Born. Exactly. 

Kat: I literally like one of the notes I wrote. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Is this Mo- this movie is my A Star is Born. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: This is my fucking, a star is born. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm yeah. 

Kat: This is it. I like this movie more than a star is born. 

Ryley: I get that. That's perfectly fine. 

Kat: Mm-hmm I also I just fucking love Bette Midler.

Ryley: I do too. Especially after watching this movie, like she's fantastic in this movie. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: Oh, the timeline's a little fucked up between like, uh, when Hillary comes back and she's three months pregnant and then up until six months later, Bette Midler got engaged and then broke that engagement and then that guy right after. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Got, is getting married again. I'm like, what is the timeline in this, in [00:16:00] this. Also John grays for a second is he's gray and then that Midler's hair is different. So it shows time has passed, but only a few months, like. 

Kat: Yeah, exactly. No, it is a weird, weird timeline. 

Ryley: It's a weird timeline. Like they act like so much time passed. I'm like, no, it's only a few months you put a pregnant person in this. There's only so many months you have. 

Kat: That marks a very specific timeline. 

Ryley: Very specific. Yeah. And it's just kind of odd. 

Kat: And all of their eyebrows go ashy. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Like an ashy gray. 

Ryley: Yeah. Like trying to age them. John is gray after nine months from seeing him like what happened. I mean divorce does crazy things, but. 

Kat: Yes, it is stressful.

Both: It is stressful. 

Ryley: So I understand. 

Kat: Hillary's eyebrows, like almost completely go like a grayish brown, like a lot of things to happen in nine months. Like I get life moves fast, but not that fast. 

Ryley: Well, that's a lot to happen in nine months. I'm a little exhausted. 

Kat: No wonder they greyed, you know, like that. Yeah. 

Ryley: Having babies, getting divorces. 

Kat: Did you have anything else? 

Ryley: No. 

Kat: Since this is my, like, watch it with your mom movie. I just wanted to detail of like the [00:17:00] first time my mom watched this movie with me. I was like seven or eight. It was just like some random day. She was like, she like, just literally like sat me down on the couch and was like, we're watching these movies and we watched Beaches, we watched Fried Green Tomatoes, and then we watched Where the Heart is that movie with Natalie Portman. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Where she gives birth in the Walmart. 

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: And then we finished by watching Practical Magic. This is also one of those movies where like, if my sister and I were arguing over what to watch. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: And one of us was like, why don't we watch Beaches? 98% of the time we would be like, fine. Yeah. We're watching beaches. 

Ryley: Aw, I love that. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: I love Fried Green Tomatoes. Like I wanna watch that at some point. 

Kat: I almost picked that one. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: But I was just feeling beaches so much more. Cause it's like end of the summer, it is like a very like end of the summer movie.

Ryley: Yeah, definitely. 

Kat: The same feeling as like a Sunday. 

Ryley: Yeah, definitely. 

Kat: The summer's ending like it's. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: That's the feeling. This movie gives me. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: But the soundtrack to this movie is one of my favorites. I walk around singing the glory of love because of this movie. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: But also because of the orphan.[00:18:00] 

Ryley: Oh my god. oh, my. Yeah. I've, I've forgot about that until just now. Random movies to have that song in. That's hilarious. 

Kat: Those two movies describe my whole personality. 

Ryley: It does though. It actually does. 

Kat: This is a movie like I was telling you before, like I was watching Lord of the rings with Noah. He was literally quoting it along as we were watching it. And I watching Harry Potter with my sister. She quotes along with it. I quote, along with this movie. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: I fucking love this movie. And as much as it is like a watch with your mom movie, it is equally like watch with your best friend movie. 

Ryley: Oh yeah, totally. 

Kat: This feels like a perfect movie for like this podcast, you know, it's just like friendship. 

Ryley: Oh yeah I immediately identified with Bette Midler. 

Kat: Oh yeah.

Ryley: Immediately. 

Kat: Same here. And our other best friend we identified with, with Hillary Whitney. 

Ryley: Yep. 

Kat: But not as toxic. 

Ryley: Yeah, no, no. Not as shitty. 

Kat: And then CC smoking a cigarette under the dock, like talking to Hillary is how I see you. Cuz you're like a young, old lady, you know, like she's like literal, literally a child.

Ryley: She looks so much [00:19:00] older than the child she's speaking to. 

Kat: Yes. 

Ryley: And I saw that scene. I just immediately thought of it. Like it just immediately scared the shit outta me. 

Kat: but like the way she talks to her, this like gruff, like holding a cigarette 10 year old. 

Ryley: She's been smoking since she's like two. It sounds like. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: You know? Oh my God. 

Kat: That's the energy you carry is that 

Ryley: I love that. Oh my god. 

Kat: And then I wrote that Leonna is great. Oh, I love she's great. I love Leonna. I hate Atlantic city but she is a great character in this movie. Like that's something I also love is like even the side characters have so much life in them.

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: It's just a fun movie. 

Ryley: Yeah.

Kat: One of my favorite things in this movie is when Hillary and, uh, CC are dying their hair and Hillary literally dyes her hair, the same exact color. 

Ryley: I know that's exactly what it, yeah. 

Kat: That moment kills me every time. It's so funny that she spent all that time and she's like, doesn't, it, it, it looks slightly different.

Ryley: Well, if I go out in the sun, okay. all right. 

Kat: Just put sun in, in [00:20:00] that point, you know, like.

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: And then lastly, cuz this came up quite a bit. People were upset that it didn't really like to them they didn't understand why they argued so much. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: But to me, I think they're both only children and to me their friendship seems more like they're more like sisters than friends.

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: You know? So like they're bickering like siblings, they're not bickering like best friends, if that makes sense 

Ryley: That makes sense sense. Oh yeah. That totally makes. I get that. 

Kat: They're both only children. I'm pretty sure. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: I don't know if CC has older siblings or not, but I'm pretty sure she's an only child. 

Ryley: Yeah. It's never been, it never mentions in the movie if they have siblings or not. One of my favorite moments in the movie is like when they have their big fight and they're not talking to each other and CC's just sitting there on the couch with John going, what am I gonna do with it without a best friend? He goes, you have me. She Just kinda looks at him. She goes, it's not the same. And I laughed so hard during that, she just looks at him like, ugh. 

Kat: Literally, exactly. Cuz like I was thinking about that the other day I was yes. Like I love my fiance. Like I could tell him anything, but there are [00:21:00] some things I don't go to him for. I go to Ryley for.

Ryley: Exactly. There are. My, my sitting together is my best friend in a different way. there are some things, they're two different people. So I'm gonna be telling you two different things. They're just different things. 

Kat: My fiance, literally, he was like, you're my best friend. I was like, aw, you're my best friend. He goes, no, Ryley's your best friend. 

Ryley: I love that. Oh, that's fantastic. At least he knows. 

Kat: I can have more than one, but you're right. 

Ryley: Exactly yeah. He has the title, you know, of fiance and I got my own title. 

Kat: Yeah. You didn't buy me a pretty ring. He did. 

Ryley: Exactly. exactly. He's got his and I got mine. 

Kat: Yeah. Yeah. 

Ryley: That's what best friends are for. It's this, it's the things you don't tell your significant other. 

Kat: You would tell them, but like. 

Ryley: Or they don't get it. They just don't get it. 

Kat: Yes, exactly. 

Ryley: Like your best friend would. 

Kat: Yeah. Before we move on, I wanted to ask you, was there a song from this movie that like you liked more than others or?

Ryley: She's working with john at that first musical. 

Kat: Oh, industry!

Ryley: [00:22:00] Yes. I loved that. I thought that was a fantastic song. That was probably honestly one of my favorites. 

Kat: Same here that like, I fucking, that song is great. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: And the whole soundtrack, including the show numbers is on Spotify. So like you can listen to Oh industry. 

Ryley: That's awesome. 

Kat: That is one of my favorites too. I'm glad you liked that one. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: And I'm just, I'm glad that you liked this movie. Not that I expected you not to. I was just like, worried that, cuz this is one of my favorite like childhood core memory movies, like. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: I was like, oh shit. What if she doesn't like it? Like what if she? 

Ryley: Like Jurassic park? I'm gonna give it a 5 just out of spite. 

Kat: I didn't. I didn't not like it. I just didn't like it as much as you. But you know, you know the sentiment. 

Ryley: Yes. 

Kat: Yes. Any, anything else that, about this movie that stuck out to you or? 

Ryley: I, to this day, do not know where San Francisco is in California. It is in a different spot. Every time I look at the map. 

Kat: It's at the top, It's at the top. 

Ryley: I didn't know that I always thought it was at the bottom. I always thought it was at the bottom. That makes sense to me. 

Kat: Yeah. Cuz there's LA and then there's San Francisco and then there's San Diego. 

Ryley: I [00:23:00] just found out the other day, they're like hours and hours apart, literally like seven hours apart. I'm like, I thought they were right next door to each other I thought you could go to San Francisco in LA the same day.

Kat: We can move onto the critics if you're ready. 

Ryley: Oh yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: But this first one is from LA times written by Sheila Benson in 1988, saying that this movie is quote shamelessly manipulative, and that Bette Midler fit her role of CC almost too well. And both Midler and Hershey have done their best. The film adaptation doesn't bother with believable grounding for a friendship, this lasting, but it's missing the heart that the book had. I I've never read the book. Apparently my brain shuts off every time the title card says that it's based on a book because I didn't realize that until I was going through my notes. But they also said, quote, "we need to see them enmeshed in the real stuff of life, not flip banter, irresistible as banter can be coming out of Midler's mouth," end quote. 

Ryley: Okay. So like, I dunno I thought they went through real life stuff. Kind of, I mean. 

Kat: It was fast paced. 

Ryley: It's very fast paced. It doesn't stay long in [00:24:00] their struggling. Well, okay. Hillary's character never has to struggle cuz she comes from money. She just kind of floats around. 

Kat: Oh, my husband left me alone in this giant mansion. 

Ryley: Exactly. Like. 

Kat: Not even mansion, estate. 

Ryley: Yeah, exactly. What an idiot. But it's like what they're- what it sounds like to me when they say like, we don't see them enmeshed in the real life stuff. I mean, when they go through their twenties together, living together very short but. 

Kat: Living in a shitty apartment. 

Ryley: Shitty apartment. You got a bang on the radio to get some heat. I thought that was cute. One thing we see a little bit of like shitty jobs, like Bette Midler, like having you sing like telegram, happy birthday, telegrams, and all that. 

Kat: Bette Midler was doing fucking singing telegrams in a bunny suit. 

Ryley: Yeah. That's, that's the stuff I've done. It's like broad city, you know, where they work shitty jobs and all that. It needs more, a little bit of that. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Cause like that's, that's, that's the grit, you know, that you get in your twenties. You know? 

Kat: I would watch a parody version of this with Ilana and Abby. [00:25:00] 100% 

Ryley: Who would play who? 

Kat: Who do you fucking think? It' s right there. 

Ryley: Yeah. Abby, I guess I just have a hard time seeing Abby playing Hillary, but I can see, I can see them fitting in that. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: A little bit. 

Kat: Benson also says that Garry Marshall's direction gives the movie style, but it is entirely without personality and quote, 

Ryley: Not true. 

Kat: "During the films fully packed two out two plus hours." Okay. It's like three minutes. Shut up. Um, sorry. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: "The women will have to deal with almost every vicissitude known to soap opera, and a star is born, including marriage, divorce, abandonment, attraction, stardom, loss of stardom motherhood, and the threat of parting forever," end quote. So they do also include that like star is born element to it. I don't feel the soap opera thing they're going for. Lifetime movie, maybe. 

Ryley: Yeah, I see it a little. But I don't think that's a bad thing. 

Kat: No. 

Ryley: Also that's just live- life is so- [00:26:00] life is a soap opera. 

Kat: Do you think no one's ever went through this shit? 

Ryley: Yeah. Also fully packed two plus hours. 

Kat: Three minutes. 

Ryley: Three minutes. Really? Uh, that's someone who's reaching reaching for complaints. 

Kat: Yeah. Benson says that John Herd was underutilized in this movie and that Spalding Gray who played the obstetrician, um, always seems like he's parodying every character he's playing. Like this writer said that they never believed that he's playing a character straight. It always seems like he's parodying something. And I don't know enough about his work to know if that's true. 

Ryley: Who does he play in this movie, Spalding Grey? 

Kat: The obstetrician. 

Ryley: He, yeah. I don't know. 

Kat: I can see what they're saying. 

Ryley: I know what they're saying. He's al- he's just so sheepish, you know? 

Kat: Mm-hmm mm-hmm. It, it seems like he's like being satirical with it.

Ryley: Yeah. Uh, I don't know. He wasn't my favorite character. 

Kat: No, no. 

Ryley: I feel bad for him though. 

Kat: Yeah. When I would watch this growing up, I didn't feel bad for him though. I was like, man, fuck that guy. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Also he- proposing that fast? Like something wrong with him. 

Ryley: [00:27:00] Exactly. Again, within only a few months, like. 

Kat: Yeah, but they end this review with quote, "of course there is a sacrificial ending. It's a beaut, with nothing spared, from the glory of love quietly on the soundtrack to a fiery setting sun on the horizon. Presumably, CC's learning to care about others for the first time brings out her better self; it certainly brings out those Kleenexes," end quote. 

Ryley: Again, I don't understand why PP or-

Kat: pee-pee poo-poo.

Ryley: I'm sorry. I- Sorry. I don't understand why everyone always says CC is selfish of this movie. She, this girl took her in, made her roommate, uh, forgave her for being a bitch. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Took care of her during pregnancy was there for the birth, helped with her daughter while she was dying and then took her. I don't understand why people keep calling her selfish. It's it's that thing of like, well, she also wants a career, so she's not focusing on anyone but [00:28:00] herself. So therefore she's selfish, you know, you know? 

Kat: Yeah. Like when Hillary does arguably more selfish things, it's like, oh, she's doing what's best for her. 

Ryley: Yeah. But when CC wants a career, You know, well. 

Kat: She's self-centered. 

Ryley: She's self centered and selfish and all that. And it's just like, that's a big problem I have in this movie, everyone calling her selfish just because she wants a career and is working really hard for it. And yeah, she does make a few sacrifices, but also takes a lot of time to care for her friend. 

Kat: Literally. 

Ryley: That's something I'm very annoyed about with this movie is just that narrative. I don't really understand it actually. 

Kat: It's I think it's another one of those things where it's like, CC is so confident in her abilities too. So that's part of it. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: And like CC from my watching and like the way I take it with her personally is like, she will literally, and like, this kind of resonated with me too. Cause I love, I love my friends. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: No matter what is going on in her life, if she's busy, whatever, she will always make time for Hillary and [00:29:00] Hillary has to be the one that like makes time for her. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Like she has to like sacrifice her time to be, spend time with CC, but CC's literally like, I'm literally on a Broadway show and I'd rather be spending time with you.

Ryley: Exactly. CC's a better friend. And uh, if it wasn't for stupid husband, Michael, she would've never, hillary, would've never gone back and seen CC that whole friendship would've never happened again. 

Kat: Yeah, exactly, exactly. But the next review I have is from DVD town by John J Puccio in April of 2005. Shut up you peepee poo. He mentions how the film didn't do well with critics, but did well at the box office. And he found himself drawn to the happiness and sorrow of the story's main characters. Says that it's a mellow dramatic tearjerker with a little something to offer everyone. But the emotions that you are feeling while you're watching it get weighed against how much of the movie you spent bored and that determines how much you value the movie.

Ryley: Okay. 

Kat: But it still has something to offer to everybody. 

Ryley: I will say, I think the last half, the movie where she [00:30:00] gets sick and they're at the, that's actually probably my least favorite part of the movie, cuz it is slower and she's just done. It's kind of a bummer. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: The last half of the movie's kind of a bummer.

Kat: The only really exciting part is like when CC and Victoria are bonding, like that's really fun. And then like the very, very end, but like, yeah, I understand what you mean. It's kind of like, you're just waiting you're just waiting for either get better or die. 

Ryley: Exactly. Yeah. 

Kat: Not to be blunt about it, you know. But they also said that quote, "beaches might as well be called the neverending story, its episodes contain so many false closures," end quote. It seems like there's a lot of points in the movie where like the movie could just end there. 

Ryley: Oh yeah. 

Kat: And it would still like be a closure to the movie and you keep thinking, oh, this must be the end of the movie. Oh, this must be the end of the movie. 

Ryley: I can see that. I definitely actually see that mm-hmm. 

Kat: Yeah, I get that too. And then says that the movie contains every cliche you can think of some of it works, some of it doesn't. And that Mayim Bialik bears an uncanny resemblance to Bette Midler. She does. 

Ryley: She really does. 

Kat: And it's like her, her performance, [00:31:00] like both of the kids, but mostly Mayim Bialik, like amazing performance from a kid actor in this movie. But also said that Hershey gets upstaged by Midler throughout the film, which yes she does.

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: But that's just how the characters are. 

Ryley: That's Bette Midler. I don't- that was whoever casted. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: That was their fault. Sorry. 

Kat: Well, it's her production company, so she probably. 

Ryley: Ah, kinda probably had a hand in it. Well, doesn't matter. I still love that. I love Bette Midler in this movie, so. 

Kat: Oh yeah. 

Ryley: I'm sorry. Yeah, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Kat: No, I don't think I would love this movie of as much without her in it. They end the review with quote, "Beaches is guaranteed to tug at your heartstrings at least a couple of times, and I promise at least a couple of those times will get to you. But it's a matter of knowing when you're being manipulated and you may resent it. The movie is also guaranteed to get sluggish in the second half and more predictable as it goes along. When the end finally arrives, again and again," it's very, "it's every bit that downer audiences are hoping for." end quote. 

Ryley: Oh, okay. It's every bit the? 

Kat: Downer, as in like, it's sad, like it has like. 

Ryley: Oh, like it's okay in the feels like. 

Kat: [00:32:00] Yes.

Ryley: Okay. I understand that. I do understand that. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm I, I, I generally agree with everything they say, like, I don't, there's not much, I disagree with. 

Kat: Those things are true. It's just some of those things for me either I didn't feel that way personally, but I get, I how get somebody. 

Ryley: I get this person, I get the review.

Kat: Mm-hmm. This one didn't make me as angry. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: But who comes in to save that feeling if not Richard Propes on the independent critic and because of how beautifully he writes everything, I basically just copied and pasted his review into this. 

Ryley: That's what I did last time. I just I'm literally just quoting him and just reading what he reads. So, I understand. 

Kat: Ya might cry because this is the cutest fucking sweetest, like review I've ever read from him. It's like, so perfect for this. But he gave this movie an a minus or a 3.5 out of four. 

Ryley: Very nice. 

Kat: And so he had received this movie on DVD from his childhood best friend who he would like ride the bus with all the way through high school. And he's now the godfather to her daughter. And they've maintained a [00:33:00] really strong friendship, even though they like live far apart. And like, she always seems to know like when he's like down or like not doing okay. 

Ryley: Yeah.

Kat: And so like, she sent him this movie as a gift. 

Ryley: It's just like the movie. 

Kat: Right? 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: So Richard says, quote, "beaches is basically about such a friendship and the role it plays through our lives. Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey play these friends beautifully. They capture the peaks and valleys of friendship with a simplicity and authenticity that is more real than it is dramatic. Beaches goes for authenticity over selling the drama, something that is rare in films these days. I prefer Midler in these sort of roles. While she has comic talents. I prefer it when her characters have a natural comic tone, rather than a forced comic nature. This character is driven, passionate, and naturally relaxed to the point of a gently humorous. Midler captures a balance with the character and does so beautifully. Likewise, Hershey is the more privileged of the two from what I've heard. There are aspects of Hershey's personality in this character, but there's also a [00:34:00] tremendous vulnerability that Hershey brings here. It's a refined, restrained performance and Hershey nails it. There is so much that I appreciate about this film. Its look is beautiful, but not showy. In fact, the film received an Oscar nomination for art direction and I'd say it was well deserved. The film is, perhaps, still best known for its hit song Wind beneath my wings from Midler, it's a powerful song that fits nicely with the themes of friendship and loyalty and being there, it fits the film perfectly. Beaches is not perfect. It is a touched long at 123 minutes, and there are definitely times when I feel manipulated. Additionally, some of the hardcore emotional scenes are simply beyond the range of Barbara Hershey. I just didn't quite buy into them. Yet, I can't deny that I bought into the film. Undoubtedly, this is partially due to its emotional connection to my life. It reminds me so much of my friend and our friendship. It reminds me of the healing power that very friendship has had in my life. It reminds me that even when I may feel alone, I truly am not alone. For over 15 years. Beaches has [00:35:00] been a safe harbor during times of loneliness. A film I can watch and become centered again, become grateful again and become aware that even when I forget who I am, there's always someone there to remind me." Right. 

Ryley: No, it makes me so sad. It makes me like really happy for him though it's so sweet. 

Kat: Like everybody has that movie that it's like, you feel bad, this movie will pick you up. 

Ryley: Yeah. Aw. I love that. 

Kat: Thank you, Richard. 

Ryley: Thank you, Richard. I have one thing and I keep seeing it in the other reviews where they say they keep feeling manipulated.

Kat: Yes. 

Ryley: I don't know exactly what they mean by that. 

Kat: I think they mean, like, you can tell that the movie is like you cried now like that kind of thing. Let the tears out bitch. 

Ryley: That's what I feel like Pixar does, especially like up and all that. 

Kat: Oh yeah. 

Ryley: It's like a sledge hammer. 

Kat: Do you get a little more what they mean when they say that though? Like. 

Ryley: Yeah, definitely. Cuz I, I, now I can list all the movies where that definitely does happen. I just, yeah. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: I think it's just kind of weird to say, cuz I feel like that's I feel like that's just a ton of movies. Like that's, that's how like [00:36:00] kind of movies, how. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Kind of work. But I get it when it feels a little too, like on purpose per- like it's right there in your face like someone just shoving. 

Kat: Yeah, exactly. 

Ryley: Shoving tears in your eyes. 

Kat: They're just like, you're gonna need these. They're just throwing those, like individually packed Kleenex things at you. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Okay. We're gonna do this specifically to make people cry or feel this emotion, or like. 

Ryley: Okay.

Kat: It's a little more obvious that they're doing that, I guess, than with other movies where you're just like, why would, why would you write that? 

Ryley: It makes a lot of sense. I had just never seen so many people go it's oh, it's manipulative, but I'm like, what? But okay. I understand that. I get that. I totally understand that. And I do agree. I actually, I actually do agree too. 

Kat: Yes, exactly. Yeah. The last review I have is from the Buffalo news by Jeff Simon from 1989. Starting with quote, "of Garry Marshall's beaches, the sound of audience sobbing and nose blowing may resemble the gathering roar of Niagara. If there's a dry eye in the house, it's it probably belongs to a potato or a human being who's a reasonable [00:37:00] potato facsimile," end quote. 

Ryley: I like that. 

Kat: If you didn't cry, you're a fucking potato or you look like one. 

Ryley: You look like one. You're ugly if you didn't cry. If you didn't cry you're ugly. 

Kat: But they also say this is the honorable kind of tear, jerker that wallows soapily in misery and pluck quote, "it wears its plastic heart on its sleeve, knowing full well that the industrial strength weepy will always be in fashion," end quote. These heavily emotional movies will always always be wanted. 

Ryley: Oh yeah. 

Kat: Midler turns from a cult performer to a beloved American showbiz figure with this movie. And she's good at being mainstream. And then says that there's a few references to Midler's real biography in cc's story mostly with like the songs that she chooses to sing. Like those are her first like bigger songs that she did. And then the movie had great casting and it was directed by this sitcom maestro Garry Marshall. And that the only rotten part is the score by George Delerue. Um, not the soundtrack, the score. 

Ryley: They just didn't like the soft music of the [00:38:00] background. 

Kat: No. 

Ryley: Oh. 

Kat: No. I guess not. 

Ryley: I've never heard anyone complain about that before. That's a weird complaint. Cause think about what's a movie you hate where you just hate the score?

Kat: Nothing enough for me to remember, obviously, I guess. 

Ryley: Exactly like who, who, who picks that apart? You know, that's odd. 

Kat: Yeah. People mention the score in some movies, but it's usually movies where it's like the score's a little more obvious. This movie I couldn't hum the score to you. 

Ryley: I have no, I, i, I can't even tell you a time where the score play. Like I know score plays, but it's not rememberable but I didn't remember going, oh, this is terrible. You know? 

Kat: I guess like with how much there is theatrics and there's great casting and like there's a lot of life in the movie. Maybe they just, the fact that the score sounded so generic maybe they didn't like.

Ryley: I just, I'd never heard someone complain about a score before. 

Kat: Neon Demon's score had complaints, but that was because they were like, why does it sound like an 80 sci-fi movie? 

Ryley: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: But it's like, yeah, but that one it's like more obvious that there, the score is there.

Ryley: Yeah, definitely. 

Kat: But they end the review with quote, "you've [00:39:00] seen this 4 million times before, but not with Midler wisecracking and singing and shaking her way through a movie, or with Hershey as a pulp version of a moneyed beauty. Obviously, this movie is dependent on the kind of stereotypical unreality, which has become the common substance of both television and the ordinary Broadway play." End quote. 

Ryley: Yeah. People like to say like it's cheesy or it's cliche. I don't think so. I think it's just theatrical, you know? 

Kat: Yeah, exactly. Also, I think we've said this before. Who cares if it is cheesy? Who cares if it's, who cares if it's a cliche? 

Ryley: Yeah It's fun. 

Kat: Yeah. Like this person even said like, yeah, this has been done before, but not with Bette Midler. 

Ryley: And not with Bette Midler. She makes it. And that's the whole thing. That's the whole thing Bette Midler's very, very good in this movie. She makes this movie and I love her. 

Kat: She's a foundation of this movie. 

Ryley: She is. 

Kat: But, okay. Do you have anything else to say about this review before we move on? 

Ryley: No, but I think they, I, they did, they did good with this too.

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: I agree with this. Yeah. You're ugly. If you didn't cry during this movie, you're just physically ugly. 

Kat: Yeah. You look like a potato. 

Ryley: I love that. 

Kat: [00:40:00] But we'll move on to the audience reviews. And the first one I have is a two star from letterboxd, from 2021 that says, "movies your mom likes cinematic universe."

Ryley: That's the theme. 

Kat: But why two stars, Wood? 

Ryley: Yeah. That's a little rude. 

Kat: Something against moms? 

Ryley: Yeah. Was it mother ? 

Kat: Was it mother? 

Ryley: That's funny. 

Kat: And then first 10 outta 10. IMDB from 2020 titled Bette. And they say, "I like the bit where she asks if she could take her cat." 

Ryley: Aww. 

Kat: And they're referring to Victoria being like, can I bring my cat with me?

Ryley: That was so sad. Oh, my God. 

Kat: It was. If Bette Midler had said no. 

Ryley: That would have been evil. Oh my God. 

Kat: Now you're the villain. 

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. Good lord. But no, that's so sweet. I love that. 

Kat: And I will also say that it was hard to find really negative reviews of this movie too. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: So this is another 10 out of 10 from IMDB titled awesome movie from 2005. "I first saw this movie when I was just a tyke, my mom [00:41:00] had taped it off of the television when it played as a special. I've quoted from it and memorized lines, music, dances, everything ever since. Now that I'm older and can understand the movie's story and meaning it's even better. The fact that a little kid, like I was can appreciate it for its comedy and music, then learn to appreciate that moral of the movie later in life is just the best. I now own the movie on DVD, which I'm so glad I found it, and have shared it with the unfortunate souls," that have, "that haven't seen it yet. Like my best friend of 11 years. We very much can relate to many of the situations in the movie. And we both agree we hope our story ends with the bond, but may be happier of course. If we had to assign roles, I would be Hillary Whitney and my best friend would be CC all the way almost to a T. Love, love, love this movie." 

Ryley: It's really funny how you, you can think of yourself and your best friend and be like, I know who they are. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: We're just both Bette Midler. 

Kat: there's three of us. So it works out.

Ryley: That's three. There's a trio. Yeah. 

Kat: No, I'm Leonna. 

Ryley: There's a- that's [00:42:00] fantastic. I love that. That's actually perfect. 

Kat: The first negative review I have is a three star from 2021 on Letterboxd. That says, "the problem with Beaches is that the two central friends argue too much. In the titular beach sequence, they argue and argue and then in the next scene they talk about what a wonderful summer they've had. I like that it depicts the messy complexity of longstanding friendships, of relationships changing and fracturing as people change over time. That, together with the way it allows Bette Midler's character to be unsympathetic, is the film's primary strength, and yet I wished we'd seen more of them having a nice time together, so I could really invest in their relationship for a more satisfying emotional payoff. There's still plenty in there to like, however, not least Barbara Hershey and nonetheless moving final act." I do agree that there, I wish there was more of them having a nice time.

Ryley: Specifically during the summer. 

Kat: When she's about to die, like. 

Ryley: She's dying. I get how she was not in the best mood. I'd probably be worse. 

Kat: You'd be like, don't fucking look at me. 

Ryley: Don't look at me. 

Kat: Why are we [00:43:00] at the beach right now? 

Ryley: It's hot. 

Kat: Whose fucking idea was this?

Ryley: It was yours.

Kat: It was your idea. 

Ryley: No, it wasn't. 

Kat: I left my job for this

Ryley: Yeah. I mean, I would've been liked if they had a nicer time, but I get why they didn't have a nicer time. She was dying. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: And she had a young daughter and, but Bette Midler was bonding with Victoria.

Kat: And you can understand why they're arguing at that point. So I don't understand why that's the specific thing.

Ryley: Yeah. There's a whole other half of a movie too. 

Kat: Three and a half stars from 2018 from Letterboxd that just says they should have been lesbians. I think that makes more sense as a, as a comment for, for a. 

Ryley: Better ending. 

Kat: Yeah. Yeah. But that makes more sense as a comment for Fried Green Tomatoes than this movie, like they should have been lesbians in that movie.

Ryley: That's a gay movie. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: That's 100%. Well, like damn near like kiss and I thought they were gonna kiss. 

Kat: Yeah. Yeah. They were like this close to kiss, like that's. [00:44:00] Them's gay. 

Ryley: There's tension. There's tension in that movie. 

Kat: That's gay. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: That was gay. 

Ryley: It's gay. 

Kat: This one's a three and a half star from Letterboxd from 2019. That says, "I just *clenches fist* love stories about the relationships women have and develop with each other over their lives." Me too. 

Ryley: I love that. Me too aggressively. 

Kat: Yes. This one's long. It is a four out of 10 from IMDB. Titled, "I'm a sucker for these types of sugary Melo-" 

Ryley: That's a long title. 

Kat: Right? "I'm a sucker for these types of sugary melodramas, but Beaches is more sugar substitute than anything." From may of 2005. "I have to admit that I'm a sucker for these sugary melodramas, as long as they're well done like Steel Magnolias, but Beaches is more sugar substitute than anything. Every moment of the film is designed for maximum emotional effect, and you can literally feel Garry Marshall stuffing the onions up to your eyes during the final act. It's just so manipulative and trite. Beaches is lost in a sea of marriages, divorces, babies, terminal illnesses, and everything else that you're likely to find in your [00:45:00] average television movie of the week. Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey are all right, but they're mismatched. And the child actresses that played their characters at the beginning of the film are a lot better. The only mildly moving moment where Midler's song Wind beneath my wings is used, but that moment was never earned. I really thought I'd like this movie, but it ends up that it may be the second most annoyingly corny movie ever after My Girl."

Ryley: I've never seen My Girl. 

Kat: I know that is a punch to the heart. 

Ryley: Yeah, I know that too. It is corny. They're not wrong, but it's a good corny. I love I, it's a great corny. It's it's heartwarming, corny. You know. 

Kat: This movie and Steel Magnolias are both well done. 

Ryley: Exactly. I like it. I it's just one of those things where you just took it too seriously. You missed it. You know, you just. You didn't get it. Sorry. 

Kat: But this next one is a three star review from 2017 on Letterboxd. "Ah, the movie that ruined you are my sunshine for me forever. I wish I wasn't one of those people that start ugly crying the second Wind beneath my wings comes on, but [00:46:00] I am. My name's Trudy and I sobbed through the last 10 minutes of beaches like it was the last thing I was ever gonna do." 

Ryley: Why are you saying your name? Like you have to admit it to the world. Well, I don't know how to. My name's Trudy. 

Kat: Hi Trudy. 

Ryley: Hi Trudy. That's exactly what it sounds like. Oh my God. That's so funny. 

Kat: But they literally sing you are my sunshine one time. 

Ryley: One time, very short. It's a little it's dark. I associate you are my sunshine with, uh, O Brother Where Art Thou. 

Kat: Same. 

Ryley: So that's not ruined for me. 

Kat: I guess I kind of get it cuz it's like her pill, pill alarm goes off and it ruins the moment. 

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. 

Kat: Really? That, that ruined fucking song?

Ryley: Doesn't ruin the song.

Kat: For you? 

Ryley: It doesn't no, no. 

Kat: I did agree with sobbed through the last 10 minutes. Like it was the last thing I was ever gonna do. 

Ryley: I love that. That is so fucking funny. Yeah. My name's Trudy. Hi Trudy, I love that. That's so fucking funny. That's what it sounds like. 

Kat: All right. This one's pretty aggressive. This is a one out of 10 from IMDB title. "God, I hate this movie" from 2006. "Where do we [00:47:00] start? With the overacting, the scenery chewing? Okay, let's talk about the maudlin script first. In attempting to make us sad, we are fed forced scenes designed to make us care about these unlikable characters. When is brash annoying, rude, selfish, and mean the other is hypocritical, deceitful, boring, and not as pretty as some may think at the end. I didn't care for either of these women. They regrets were too little too late and not believable. The music saccharine sweet. Ugh. I love Bette Midler, but in a movie where she must play sympathetic and dramatic, at some point she comes across as if she's in a comedy. Is it fair to mention Barbara Hershey's lips? A yes. She made a choice, a bad one and has to live with it. Poor her my guess is my girlfriend loves this film. I'll ask her. But if this film were a bit more over the top, it would rank up there with mommy dearest and show girls for unintentional comedy. I could go on, but it would be all bad." Okay. Fuck off. You don't know what camp is. If you are calling, if you're saying that mommy dearest didn't show girls are not good because they have unintentional comedy. 

Ryley: Yeah. [00:48:00] Why are they talking about Barbara Hershey's lips for, are they talking about like lip fillers or something? 

Kat: Yeah, she got, she got collagen injections in her lips. 

Ryley: In the- and she had them in the movie. 

Kat: For the movie. 

Ryley: Oh, for the movie. I thought she looked fine. I thought she looked good. 

Kat: Yeah. I don't. 

Ryley: I thought she looked good. Also. They don't last forever. They will deflate. So it's not a lifelong choice, idiot. 

Kat: No. 

Ryley: So I understand saying those things about Barbara Hershey, not the lip filler thing, but like the characteristics of the character, like Barbara Hershey's character, but saying those things about Bette, Bette Midler's fantastic in this movie, if you didn't, no, I, I don't agree with any of this. This is just awful. This is a bad take. It's a bad take and they're stupid. 

Kat: Yes. Ex- yes. 

Ryley: Go watch plastic surgery on YouTube and you'll learn everything. Okay. 

Kat: Yeah.

Ryley: Before you run your mouth. 

Kat: Yeah. This next one is a st- two and a half star review from 2019 on Letterboxd. That says, "this movie reminds me of when me and my best friend would write letters in middle school. Except none of them ever died and we live in Missouri." 

Ryley: Okay. 

Kat: Trauma dump. [00:49:00] 

Ryley: Yeah, a little bit. 

Kat: Sorry you live in Missouri. 

Ryley: Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, but I don't need to hear about it. 

Kat: Okay, so this next one is a two-star review from Letterboxd from 2021. And they have the quote from the movie you took away our friendship without even discussing it with me, that friendship was most important to me than anything. I trusted it. I believed in it, but you didn't and now it's gone. Yep. That to me shows how much better of a friend CC is. 

Ryley: Yeah, exactly. Hillary is the one that broke it. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. This person said after putting that quote in there, "man, that's stung. My best friend of 17 years cut me off a year ago, didn't even try to talk shit through with me, didn't care enough to fix the problem. Just poof, vanished from my life only this isn't the movies, is it, and she's never going to pick up the phone and call me. These stories of horrible of female friendships the movies love to tell over and over, are they even real? Because all I see is women arguing over the smallest things, cutting people out of their lives, no loyalty whatsoever. Want a best friend for life? Find a [00:50:00] guy." And to that, specifically that last part, I just have to say that you deserve better than that, one. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Two, yeah, you'll have a best friend for life until the day he decides to confess his love to you and ruins the whole thing. 

Ryley: Yep, exactly.

Kat: That's what being friends with the guy is. I'm sorry. 

Ryley: Yep. That's exactly what that is. 

Kat: And not every friendship with a woman is like that. 

Ryley: It's not. 

Kat: We have 10 years under our belt. 

Ryley: Exactly. And I could tell you right now, I can't imagine either one of us, especially me, like not just cutting you off for no reason.

Kat: Yeah. I would have to have done something awful. and same for you. 

Ryley: You have to do something. I wanna know what this person did a little bit. I wanna know the situation. I want a story. I want a story. I wanna know what happened. 

Kat: Exactly. 

Ryley: I understand they're hurt, but. 

Kat: Yeah, but don't swear off women forever.

Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. Especially, especially, this is not the movie to base one, do not base this movie off women. Like. 

Kat: No. 

Ryley: They're catty in this a little bit. That's fine. You're gonna get caddy occasionally, but that's not, that's not women and that's not women friendships. I don't think that's our friendship at all. I don't think. 

Kat: It never has been. 

Ryley: [00:51:00] No, I don't think cattiness has ever been a thing in our friendship.

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Dude, like, no, come on. 

Kat: No, and I, I hope that you don't feel this way anymore. Like I hope you've go, go to therapy. 

Ryley: Go to therapy and post the story. Post the story about what happened. 

Kat: Yeah. Three and a half stars from 2021 on Letterboxd. "My friends wouldn't put up with half of this shit. That being said, I'm crying."

Ryley: That's kind of true. That's kind of, yeah, there's a lot there's a lot of things that Whitney does in this movie. I would not, I would not put up with mm-hmm. 

Kat: Uhuh. 

Ryley: Some things she says is just I mean just plain hurtful, like, mm. 

Kat: Yeah. Okay. This is a two star review from 2021 on Letterboxd. "Got duped into thinking this was a movie about friendship when it was actually about two women bickering for 80% of the run time. And when they weren't fighting, they were mostly talking about men and stuff. Also, CC is a shitty dog owner." 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: "Good John Herd performance. Inspired casting of Mayim Bialik as young Bette. And Garry Marshall is a bitch ass." Why is he a bitch as why is he a bitch as. He made the princess diaries one and two.

Ryley: Yeah. She has that friend who goes, that [00:52:00] was. 

Kat: Lily. 

Ryley: Two months ago. You're not over it? And it's about her dad dying. 

Kat: Yes. And she also like makes fun of her for getting a makeover, like. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Yeah. Lily, wasn't a great friend in the, in the first one. 

Ryley: No, she was horrible. She's terrible. Yeah. I mean, they argue a lot in this movie, but that's that's life. That's what happens. 

Kat: They're like sisters. 

Ryley: Yeah, exactly. I was gonna say something I'm sorry I forgot. 

Kat: Is it CC being a shitty dog owner? 

Ryley: Oh yeah. Okay. 

Kat: She is. 

Ryley: She's very, she's so mean to him for no reason. I do love how she goes like, he died and he didn't get to know how much I loved him. I love that, that, and also when they're in Miami and the dog head, it's just sticking out of the limo. And then the guy's trying to push his side back down so he can close the-. I love that. That was fucking hilarious. He just. 

Kat: That was good. 

Ryley: He's just trying to push the dog's head down. 

Kat: Come on. 

Ryley: Come on. Yeah. She was not a great dog owner. She was not, I will agree with that. I will agree with that. 

Kat: And she just lets him go. 

Ryley: She's not get, she gives it to the doorman or the the doorman and they just go off. 

Kat: This next one's three stars from 2020 on [00:53:00] Letterboxd that says me, this is a little bit overwrought and melodramatic and manipulative, and also me tears in my eyes, did you ever know that you're my hero? 

Ryley: See, you can enjoy this movie and know what it is. 

Kat: Yes. 

Ryley: And still enjoy it. It's still good. Doesn't make it bad. 

Kat: It's like this movie's so cheesy, but you're literally wiping away tears every five minutes. 

Ryley: Still good. 

Kat: Yeah, exactly. But I've been walking around just going, did you ever know that you're my hero? Cause you are the wind beneath my wings. But this is the last review I have. It is four and a half stars from 2022 on Letterboxd this movie and movies like this feel so familiar to me for some reason, the eighties nostalgia and drama and humor. It really resonates with me haha. 

Ryley: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That last haha. The way you said it. 

Kat: I like that laugh haha. 

Ryley: One of my favorite cultural moments. Oh my God. Haha. 

Kat: I loved just [00:54:00] storytelling and I think it portrayed the ups and downs of a lifelong friendship as well as a movie could in two and a half hours."" Two and a half hours? 

Ryley: It's not, it's it's two hours. 

Kat: Two hours and three minutes.

Ryley: Did we miss like an extended cut or something? I feel like we- 

Kat: have, I?

Ryley: I feel like we did. 

Kat: Is the only version of it that's available the TV version? 

Ryley: Like the one I watched was like two hours and three minutes. 

Kat: Yeah. Like, did you rent it from Amazon or something? 

Ryley: No I watched it on Vudu. 

Kat: Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. I don't think, I don't think we missed anything. I think people are just exaggerating. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: "And the child actors for the young versions of the main characters were perfect. I also thought it depicted the nuances of female friendships really well, especially how comforting and beautiful it can be but also how our closest friends can sometimes feel like our worst enemies. It really reminded me of me and my BFF. Friendship is magic, but it's hard too. Basically girls need each other and we gotta stick together. It took everything in me not to sob at the end. Yeah, I don't know, I think this was just the heartbreaking pick me up I needed." 

Ryley: Hmm. 

Kat: That is a perfect response to the person with the, the one that was like my best friend of 17 years. [00:55:00] Hasn't talked to me. 

Ryley: Mm-hmm. 

Kat: It doesn't have to be that friend. The most formative people in my life have been the, like the women in my life. 

Ryley: Yeah, exactly. 

Kat: They have been there for me the most and helped me the most throughout my life. Ye- girls gotta stick together. 

Ryley: They do. Also, friendship shouldn't be too hard. Like I get having like ups and downs or some challenges, but like, it shouldn't. 

Kat: It shouldn't drain you. 

Ryley: Yeah. And it shouldn't be fighting tooth and nail either. Like. 

Kat: Mm-hmm. A forever friend exists for you. 

Ryley: Exactly. 

Kat: You just have to be willing to work on it as much as the other person. 

Ryley: That was a good last review. I really, I really did. Like, it was very sweet. We gotta stick together in all caps. I love that. 

Kat: It's true. 

Ryley: It is true. 

Kat: They're on to something. 

Ryley: True. It is true. 

Kat: What would you give this movie out of 10 and why? 

Ryley: A good seven out of 10. 

Kat: Okay. 

Ryley: It's just good. It's heartwarming. I, this is the first time I ever saw. So I didn't get to grow up with it.

Kat: Mm-hmm. 

Ryley: But I thought it was sweet. I thought it was heartwarming. There's some things that made me a little bit angry. So there were a few things like that, [00:56:00] but I, I think it did enrich the story overall. Not that it was purposely done cause I, I think we're reading more of like a feminist review of it, but. 

Kat: Yeah. And like in this day and age. 

Ryley: Yeah, like in this day and age, like we're realizing like that's that's actually pretty problematic. Um, I still think it's interesting. A good thing to talk about a good seven out of 10 is what I put this. I love the soundtrack. I think it's great. I do. I really like this movie. I thought it was really good. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Ryley: Good solid seven out of 10. Just a good movie. 

Kat: Yeah, I think that's fair. I think that's a fair, fair rating and review. 

Ryley: And what would you rate it? 

Kat: I think I would give it a nine out of 10. 

Ryley: Nice. 

Kat: And I'd take away a point for just like the times. 

Ryley: The times. Yeah. 

Kat: Cause like, regardless of how CC's portrayed, I still took away her being my favorite. 

Ryley: Oh yeah. 

Kat: And the soundtrack is amazing and it will literally never get old. This movie will never get old. 

Ryley: Yeah. 

Kat: Is there anything else you wanted to say? 

Ryley: No, I think I've said it all. 

Kat: Okay. I think I have too. So if you have any feedback, any gripes, any complaints, any movie suggestions, if [00:57:00] you wanna send us a meme that's related to any of the movies we've done that's fine too. 

Ryley: Yeah.

Kat: We also post clips of our show on TikTok and we have a website with our transcripts for each episode on it. If you're ever confused about what we said, sometimes the transcript's confused too so it'll be a mystery forever but that's easybaketakespodcast.com. And if you enjoyed this, leave us a review, give us a follow. It really does help us a lot. Wherever you listen to your podcasts. And thank you so much for listening. My name's Kat 

Ryley: And I'm Ryley. 

Kat: This has been Easy Bake Takes. Easy watching out there. 

Ryley: Bye. 

Kat: Bye.

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