Definitely Not a Texan (Bernie Movie Review)
Kat and Ryley watch Richard Linklater's True Crime Mockumentary based on a real-life murder in East Texas.
Review Overview: Aside from how you might feel about Bernie Tiede as a person, you can't deny that this movie is entertaining. Jack Black performs so well in this movie in his acting and singing. Linklater delivered a perfect Southern Gothic mockumentary.
If you've ever lived in Texas, you might find some familiar characters and sentiments. It pokes fun at small-town politics in such a loving way.
This movie makes you question yourself. Is it wrong to like Bernie after what he did? Was Bernie pushed into committing murder? Does the treatment Bernie got from Marjorie warrant his actions?
In the end, you don't really need to have an opinion of him as a person.
Its moral is simple, everyone has the potential to do what Bernie did.
Kat: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to Easy Bake Takes the Podcast. The podcast where we read you the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. I'm Kat.
Ryley: And I'm Ryley. And today we watched Bernie of the year, 2011, PG 13 movie, crime drama.
Kat: You know, if you haven't seen this movie before, I highly recommend going and watching it with don't look anything up about it, just go watch it and then come back to us.
Ryley: Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's an hour and 44 minutes long. Movie follows the real life murder of 81 year old Marjorie Nugent and 39 year old Bernie Tiede.
Kat: Tiede.
Ryley: Is that his last name? Is that how they say it? I thought it was "teed"
Kat: mm-hmm.
Ryley: Tiede. The movie shows who Bernie was in the small town of Carthage, Texas back in 1996. Supposedly, you know, the movie is kind of weird how it dates it, but.
Kat: It's, it's a little, it's like date [00:01:00] timeless, a little.
Ryley: A little.
Kat: The setting of it.
Ryley: A lot of people mention the technology in the film, like there's an iPhone and laptop.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: But the murder in real life took place in 1996. So.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: But it shows you the life of Bernie. He's an extremely generous mortician who is extremely popular within his community. Uh, the movie shows how Bernie became the companion of an unfriendly unliked, and generally hated by the, by the town Marjorie Nugent. Um, this is after her husband died and Bernie, uh, held the service for his funeral. They show how their friendship grows. Ultimately over time, Marjorie becomes a extremely possessive over Bernie and I would say even abusive. She really just traps 'em into being her servant. This all comes to a breaky point when Bernie one day does shoot her four times in the back with an Armadillo gun. And hides her body, the garage freezer, I believe for six months.
Kat: Yeah, something like that.
Ryley: Yeah. Around that time.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Six months go by where Bernie fabricates the health ailments of Marjorie saying like she had a series [00:02:00] of small strokes.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Um, that's why people can't see her or that's why she's not talking. And it's not like anyone was like dying to see her, you know.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Cause she was hated. The only person that really raised, raised any flags was her stock broker. Cuz he was losing money, of course.
Kat: I believe his kids like their, their money from their inheritance hadn't come in and yeah.
Ryley: Yeah. They were very, uh, upset about that. That's the only reason why Eddie would, she probably would've stayed in that freezer for years had it not been for just the money that she was paying people, which is really sad. But.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Bernie ends up does in that six months spends her money, but not on himself, but on the community. Eventually her home is searched and their body is found. We get to see the trial and how Bernie was sentenced to 99 years to life. This movie was based on the Texas monthly article written by Skip Hollandsworth. And he wrote part of the screenplay with Richard Linklater.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: In 1998 this article was called, midnight in the guard of east Texas.
Kat: He covers a lot of, uh, more recent [00:03:00] Texas.
Ryley: True crime.
Kat: True crime cases. And I think my favorite murder like uses his articles a lot whenever covering Texas crimes.
Ryley: Wow.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I did not know that. That's really cool. And I did mention this earlier, but the director is Richard Linklater. The cast, Jack Black playing Bernie, Shirley MacLaine, playing Marjorie Nugent and Matthew McConaughey playing Danny Buck.
Kat: He plays it a little too well.
Ryley: He, oh, people have comments about that character and how he plays it. This movie has a lot of like talking heads, like people from.
Kat: It's a mockumentary.
Ryley: It's like a mockumentary interviewing the people of the town, a lot of them are actors. And a lot of them are people from the actual actual town of Carthage.
Kat: Yeah. I remember it being a thing that they were upset with, how they were being portrayed by the actors that were not from the town.
Ryley: Uh huh.
Kat: But they were kind of indistinguishable.
Ryley: Yeah. it's a lot of old people.
Kat: It, it is. And it's east Texas, you know, there's exaggeration in it, but like.
Ryley: Yeah, I live in Texas. It's not those are, those are real life people. You could [00:04:00] tell me all the.
Kat: We grew up here. I, I know half of those people.
Ryley: The old woman not to refer that way, but she wore all the beads as she was the one she was the one telling that one girl that Marjorie got like a lacey underwear.
Kat: What is a woman her age doing?
Ryley: Yes. That's Matthew McConaughey's mom.
Kat: That's amazing.
Ryley: It's kind of like, not too surprising.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: You might have not known that, but it's not too surprising once he said it.
Kat: She's a, she's funny.
Ryley: She's very funny. She's a great lady.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Well, I don't know that, but she's great in the movie. Uh, here's a little trivia, just to give you a little context with ac- what happened actually. So originally Bernie was sentenced to 50 years.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: He got appealed back in 2014 because new information came out about Bernie's childhood and how, what he did in Marjorie could have been justified due to trauma that happened in childhood.
Kat: I think I what. Yeah.
Ryley: Forgot specifically, but something with the interrogation slash investigation, it wasn't really done well. It was enough to get an appeal. Bernie was able to [00:05:00] get out and I think during that time they were resentencing him. So while Bernie Tiede was released in 2014, he lived in director Richard Linklaters garage apartment in Austin, Texas from 2014 to 2016.
Kat: This is after the movie too. I, that's.
Ryley: This is after the movie.
Kat: That's wild.
Ryley: Well, you know, Richard Linklater, I'm sure had strong touch with Bernie. I know Jack Black was.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Cause there's literally footage of Jack Black and is some of mustache.
Kat: Which, which makes sense since they had, um, skip Hollandsworth as one of the writers, they probably had, he was probably able to help them get on like the visitation list and like be able to go see him and talk to him.
Ryley: I don't know how to say this cause some people might think like, oh, this is a good thing by people some people might say this is a sad thing, but in 2016, Bernie was sent back to prison.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Uh, this time for life.
Kat: People who've done worse have gotten lesser sentences, but that's.
Ryley: Uhhuh.
Kat: This isn't a true crime podcast. So we won't , we won't get into that.
Ryley: Exactly. We're not gonna get into it. So a lot of this was actually filmed in [00:06:00] Bastrop, Texas.
Kat: That's by Austin. That's not east Texas.
Ryley: It, it starts to look like it.
Kat: It does, but it it's, it's not, it's literally by Austin.
Ryley: Got pretty trees though. So.
Kat: I mean, if they have the pine, the pine trees, they got it I guess.
Ryley: They start to.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: It doesn't look that indistinguishable from east Texas so whatever.
Ryley: There was a lot filmed in Carthage.
Kat: Yeah. I mean, they, they literally were at the Jalapeno Tree.
Ryley: This is a funny one. Richard Linklater, he appears as one of the five deadbeat dads in the hand on a hard body competition.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: He's the one wearing a red, uh, wearing a red shirt who touched her right away. But, uh.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: That's him.
Kat: Yeah. That's funny. I, I like when directors do that, I think it's funny. But in that way, not like Tarantino giving himself a whole character and lines.
Ryley: Exactly. A whole monologue.
Kat: A racist monologue.
Ryley: Yep. Richard Linklater just was a dude. You, I, I wouldn't even, I, you couldn't even tell it's him.
Kat: [00:07:00] He did days and confused, right?
Ryley: Yes, he did. And School of Rock.
Kat: Just a genius. This man's a genius.
Ryley: Oh, absolutely.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: 100%. A few goofs. They're just technology based. It's like murder happened 1996, but he yet he answers the iPhone nearly right after the murder.
Kat: iPhone four.
Ryley: iPhone four and there's a macbook in the shot at one point, too. I forgot where. A lot of the movie you, you could tell, like, yes, this is 1996, but there's a few.
Kat: They look, they couldn't get him a fucking flip phone, like.
Ryley: I guess not, but there is a flip phone at some point that movie, I don't know. Maybe they just forgot. Maybe, maybe they forgot, like, is this based in 1996? Or we just?
Kat: They literally had the man who wrote an article about it, like two years after it happened. Yeah. You know, the that's something that was probably just an oversight. Cause I never really thought about when this happened, you know? I.
Ryley: No. What are your thoughts on the movie?
Kat: Okay. So this is a kind of similar to like, oh brother where art though, where like, I don't have a whole lot.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: You know, like it it's a movie. I enjoy [00:08:00] watching it. Like it's a comfort movie kind of thing.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And there really isn't anything extremely bad.
Ryley: No.
Kat: The only things are just my experience watching it the first time in the theater with my parents, I went, we went to the movie theater. I had no idea what this movie was. Hadn't seen a trailer. I was also like 12, so I wasn't paying attention to movie trailers, anyway. I think my parents only picked it because it was set in Texas. They were like, this will be good. And I saw Jack Black and I was like, I know that guy, let's go see it. And the movie theater was filled with like old Southern, probably just grandmas and the occasional grandpa in there.
Ryley: Who knew Marjorie.
Kat: Yeah. they were losing their minds, laughing at this movie.
Ryley: It's so good.
Kat: It's amazing. The other thing is like, you know, you just see people in the movie and, and like being from Texas you're like, okay, I've met somebody like that. I've met somebody like that. And like the biggest.
Ryley: My grandparents are just like that, but they might as have been in the movie.
Kat: The biggest thing for me is when they're at [00:09:00] the like Bible study. Um, and they're talking, having that whole argument about, um, whether or not the water that Jesus turned in, like the wine that Jesus turned into wine from water was fermented or not. And like whether it was actual alcohol and there having like this whole thing. And then the lady leading the Bible study is like, if Jesus could turn water into wine, he could make it any kinda wine he wants fermented or not. That is literally a, like, I've been to Bible study with my grandma before, like, and she's, she's a Methodist. Bible study was at like 8:00 AM and right after I had to go to church with her, that's, that's literally what it sounded like like, it's that exact same, nothing important conversation, arguing over the semantics of the Bible. It's it's just true. It's just like true to life.
Ryley: What they mean by mockumentary it's not just like what the events that took place it's literally like the people.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It's real life. It's real life people.
Kat: Yeah. Like this, this is how small [00:10:00] town Texas is.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And I'm sure there's probably some truth to it for like other states, just like small town politics.
Ryley: Oh yeah.
Kat: But I also think it's pretty amazing that like most of the people in the town kind of were like, he's probably gay.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And they still were like, we love this guy though. Like, he's just like, they treated him like a person.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Which I think is nice for a small Texas town. I also always think it's funny that like, there's the old ladies that like, won't admit that he's gay, but that's because they're like in love with him.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: And like my favorite person in this movie is the one that's like the one that visits him at the very end. And she's like I told the judge that like, you need, you're gonna have to come um, you're, he's gonna, you have, have like leave or whatever. It's called to come dress me for my funeral. And he's like, she's like, don't worry though like I'm not, I'm not sick or anything, but like the judge is gonna have to let you out for that. I just, I love her cuz she also like everyone's talking about like, is Bernie gay? She's like Jesus walked around the desert 12 other men [00:11:00] and none of them were gay.
Ryley: The way they justify it is it's small town, p- old people. It is.
Kat: It's kind of also like O Brother Where Art Thou where there's just like the whole movie is really just a bunch of really quotable lines. She'll she'll rip you a new two bath, double wide asshole drop of hat.
Ryley: I love that one. That was so good.
Kat: I don't, I'm not gonna just go through every part that I think is funny, but like, if you haven't
Ryley: It's the whole movie.
Kat: If you haven't seen the movie, you've probably seen the clip of one of the people being interviewed, describing what the different areas of Texas are like and saying like Texas could really just be five different states.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And I don't know why it kills me every time when he's like, and of course I left out the panhandle and a lot of people do. And then just moves on.
Ryley: Then just moves on. Cause what the fuck happens is up there. I don't think anyone lives up there.
Kat: It smells like sulfur. Sulfur smells like shit. If anyone's wondering, and there's a bunch of wind turbines and that is it.
Ryley: [00:12:00] It's closer to Oklahoma too. So there's your, there's your hint why no one lives up there. Just say, sorry.
Kat: Sorry to offend for Oklahoma viewers, but that's like our.
Ryley: I don't care.
Kat: It's like my one Texas thing. Fuck Oklahoma.
Ryley: No kidding. We're from Texas. We can say it. It's fine. You expect it?
Kat: Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I really don't have anything like cr- to critique this movie on. I honestly, I've never really thought to look into the actual crime, the details of the actual crime outside of it, outside of the movie. Like the only thing I know about this crime is the movie, but like, it really isn't cuz the movie's called Bernie it's about him more than it's the crime.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly. Like it, it really is. Cuz it's talking about how much people loved him.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: They had to move his trial 50 miles away. Cause the town was gonna acquit him.
Kat: Throw another tire on the fire George.
Ryley: This movie has so much Texas charm. It's so good.
Kat: It really does. Like they are literally someone's outside of the [00:13:00] trial selling people sandwiches during the recess for lunch. Like it.
Ryley: It's, it's amazing. This would be.
Kat: I love it.
Ryley: Honestly, if you wanna, if you wanna get to know Texas, this is a good movie to show it.
Kat: Literally just that clip.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly.
Kat: Bunch of hair, like good women and liberal fruit cakes.
Ryley: Which is so funny that he included that. Cuz he's from Austin.
Kat: Mm-hmm. I mean, that's the stereotype for it, like.
Ryley: Oh yeah.
Kat: The Dallas snobs driving their Mercedes, like we're we're from DFW, you know?
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like we know, we know that's true. we know that's true.
Ryley: Yeah, definitely nothing against Austin. I love Austin. I live near it.
Kat: It's pretentious as fuck though.
Ryley: It well it's.
Kat: And it's becoming heavily gentrified day by day.
Ryley: Well, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things where.
Kat: Cause Elon Musk lives there.
Ryley: All the rich conservative Californians are all coming over here. They're make it look like LA.
Kat: Yeah. Cuz it was pretentious before, but it was at least its own brand.
Ryley: It was weird.
Kat: Now it's not, it's not [00:14:00] pretentious. It's just like LA.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Yeah. I, like I said, I don't have really any critiques. Um, and if there is anything wrong with it, it's probably just details from the case that like I don't know about, but outside of it, like I said, it's not really about the case as much as it is about Bernie. And so I just find it to be kind of a comfort movie. So that's all I have.
Ryley: I I'm the same way. And I was debate whether I should call this a comfort movie just because. I'm glad you said it though. Cuz like it makes me cuz it is a comfort movie for me as well.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Not to say that I find it comforting that an old lady was murdered.
Kat: No.
Ryley: It's, you know, it's a dark comedy.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It, and here's the thing though. If you're hated that much, not saying it's okay to murder anyone.
Kat: I think that the other outside of it being about burning, I think it is also just about like showing that someone can be pushed to that point. It wasn't something, he was planning the whole time. It's like he was pushed to do it and that doesn't make it okay. But like it can happen that [00:15:00] way.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: And you have to decide, is does that make him a bad person or does that make it okay to think she's a bad person? Like.
Ryley: Exactly. It's like what that character Don said, she was more evil than he was good and evil won. And it did. Like it, it broke him.
Kat: Mm-hmm. Not to rehash every single detail from the movie but it's cause he even says like, I never thought I'd be the one that killed her, but I, it was so bad that I was. Imagining that her death, like, I wasn't imagining killing her. I was imagining her death, like, and I.
Ryley: Her funeral.
Kat: And like, yeah, like he was imagining like, I would still, it would still hurt.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: And it'd be sad, but like dreads every day that he has to be around her, has no choice, but to see her.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: You decide how, how you feel about him as a person after watching that movie.
Ryley: But that's the whole thing. You, you could have your own opinions about it, but it's like this movie's still like great in the way of like, it shows you, it shows you each character.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: And you can think any way you want, but no one's wrong.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Feel like you just summed it up, [00:16:00] really.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: There's more to say within the reviews we have.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So I'm sure.
Kat: And we can move on to that, cuz it, like I said, with O Brother Where Art Thou, it's similar.
Ryley: It just it's, that's the whole thing I don't have.
Kat: We don't have gripes.
Ryley: I really don't have anything to add. Exactly. I don't have problems with it. I will say though, if you look at actual pictures from the people Marjorie again was 81 years old, so she's, she looks way worse than, uh.
Kat: She looks a lot younger in the movie.
Ryley: Yes. Shirley MacLaine looks way younger than what Marjorie actually looked like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Which is fine. I don't think that's a terrible thing.
Kat: It's probably hard to find a working actor that could play that as an 81 year old.
Ryley: Exactly. I think she was so good at that movie, Shirley MacLaine she was so funny.
Kat: And I know she is the person that dies in the movie, but like she is set up as villainous in the movie and she does a really good job making you question like when I talked about like, is it okay to think she was a bad person?
Ryley: Right.
Kat: Does that make her any more or less deserving of what Bernie did to her? And is Bernie a bad person for [00:17:00] doing that to her? Like it's.
Ryley: Uhhuh.
Kat: She did a great job. Everybody in this movie did a great job.
Ryley: Oh yeah. Everyone was fantastic. I just, she just, she cracked me up in a lot of spots that way she was like being mean to Bernie, but like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: She was sitting in like a, the church group and the pastor comes in and like touches her. She like flinches, like anytime everyone tries to touch her. She flinches so hard. It just maybe crack up every time.
Kat: She always looks like she's about to backhand somebody.
Ryley: Yeah, she does. And I'm sure she has.
Kat: Yeah, I'm sure she has too.
Ryley: But the, the pastor was like, I'm looking for donations and she just grips her purse, like up to here. She just made me crack up through like the way she was chewing her beans and Bernie was like, stop that, please stop. There's no reason to do that. She's like.
Kat: You're gonna upset your poor TMJ.
Ryley: Jack Black. I love Jack Black. There's never a time where I don't find Jack Black entertaining in anything. I like.
Kat: He's amazing.
Ryley: I love him. I just love the cast. If anything, that's what I usually default to. If I love a movie, I'll just talk about the cast all the time. I'll move on to the reviews and we'll have more to talk about.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: Uh, this review is called Bernie it's by [00:18:00] AMCTEIRNAN. They first start by say that how this movie is deeper than it is what it, it first appears to be. And they quote, "the thing about Richard Linklater's splendid 17th feature is that it's one of those films are best watch cold." So just don't don't research it don't look anything up. Just watch it cold.
Kat: That's how I watched it. And I agree.
Ryley: Oh yeah.
Kat: I agree.
Ryley: They praise the performances of Jack Black, Matthew Connay and Shirley B. Clay. They're all wonderful.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: And end their quote for this article. "Bernie is a classic Linklater joint: the Austin auteur's eye for the ludicrous details and manner mannerisms of small town Texan life is matched by his fondness for the same. In the spirit, watch out for the extras and the folksy local commentary: telling you more than you think. We've said too much already." And like, this was a review like before the movie was released. So they're just trying to amp people up for this. Uh.
Kat: Yeah, I will say, um, when they said, like to watch it closely.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Um, and [00:19:00] also the part where it's telling you more than you think.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Uh. Two things.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: First thing like you were saying with, uh, Shirley McClain and like the physical acting that she's doing and you can, people are blatantly telling you what kind of person she is.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: But you can like, see it visualized really well in her, like physical,
Ryley: mm-hmm.
Kat: Acting of the character or things like that. And also like just with any Southern person, especially older Southern people, there is always 10 layers down from whatever they're saying to you on the surface, there is always other things. They ask you a question. They're not asking you that question, they're asking you like 10 questions.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Whatever you answer will answer all 10 of those questions that they're asking you.
Ryley: So be careful how you answer it.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Yeah. It's it's mind games down here. That's it.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: It's just mind games.
Kat: We're smarter than we think woah, woah, woah. We're smarter than people think. And like Southern people are really digging into you when you think that they're just trying to ask you like, oh, what's your mom do [00:20:00] for, for work?
Ryley: Oh.
Kat: That has 10 different questions that it answers with whatever answer you give.
Ryley: Just to add to all that like we're smarter than you think we're more manipulative than you think.
Kat: Oh yeah. Southern kindness is manipulative in and of itself.
Ryley: Oh yeah. I absolutely this movie definitely shows it also just like a little bit with, uh, Marjorie Nugent, uh, how Shirley shows this character is like, she is a mean nasty woman to everyone.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: But because she, and she pushes everyone away. But then in itself she is lonely and she knows this.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: but she knows no other way to speak or talk to people.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So when she finds Bernie, it's a wonderful new thing and she's really sweet, but she can't help but just recoil back into this ugly person.
Kat: Makes me wonder, like, how was, how was she when her husband was alive? Her husband died after her mom died and they bring up the thing with like, she she never spoke to her sisters. She never spoke to her like mom before she died. And she was in there fighting over stuff that her [00:21:00] mom left behind. Has no other way to go through life than to be mean to people. She set herself up for this self sabotage.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: It's not surprising. She got to that point with Bernie, like it's and I think they do that well, like they set up who she is really well.
Ryley: Yeah, absolutely. 100%. This next review is by the Massie twins, which we've read their reviews before. They're my favorite critics to hate. I did agree with them once.
Kat: Jurassic park.
Ryley: Any movie that wasn't made when they were kids
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: Or teens, every other movie's trash apparently, and this review's not gonna be very surprising for them.
Kat: Oh, great.
Ryley: They didn't think the article transitioned well into a movie. Like there wasn't enough substance.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: They quote, "though the film chronicles a rather unusual protagonist, his unsurprising crime and the unconventional circumstances of small town litigation and dispositions, the situation itself doesn't feel theatrical enough to warrant such an adaptation."
Kat: Okay. Maybe on the surface, maybe on the [00:22:00] surface, it doesn't seem like something that someone would find enough substance in,
Ryley: Uhhuh.
Kat: To turn into a movie. But like I said, it's not about the fucking crime.
Ryley: It's not, it's not. It's about. The little, the little things of this movie.
Kat: The crime is just the skeleton outline for the time, the timeline of everything happening. It's about the care it's about the people.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: It's about the, the people.
Ryley: That's the meat.
Kat: Yeah. It's not like I'm not gonna argue with these two.
Ryley: You can't waste your breathe with these two.
Kat: No.
Ryley: They continue to say, "the asides with Carthage townsfolk to fill in details about Bernie and Nugent, would've been much more convincing were not for the casting of Matthew McConaughey as district attorney and politician, Danny buck, who is far too recognizable to pull out the part of an unknown citizen." I don't necessarily think that I think Matthew McConaughey was playing a really fun character. I think he did it well. I thought his character was really funny. I'm sorry, Jack Black was in this movie. I think that's such a cheap shot of something to pick at a movie like that actor's too recognizable to be this character. It's a movie. Can you pretend that it's not Matthew McConaughey for a [00:23:00] second?
Kat: That's the kind of thing where I'm like, if you're gonna say something like that, propose a solution. Maybe.
Ryley: I just think it's a stupid point. It's a movie. You can pretend this actor, is it famous for a second? That's a movie's work. Like I don't, I do not understand that argument whatsoever.
Kat: He's not playing somebody whose face you're supposed to know. Unlike Bernie, like whether or not, you know, the case like you see, he has a distinct look, this is a district attorney. He could literally look like anything. Why- he probably got voted into office cuz he was attractive. Like that's what small town politics is.
Ryley: They continue to say at the start, the characters are quirky and amusing, but ultimately reveal themselves to be unlikable and unsympathetic. Despite scripting the pro prosecutor to be equally disagreeable in the role of," Anta of "an antagonist." I, I don't, I don't agree. And I don't know what their point is about.
Kat: This is what I'm getting from this just from the two points about Matthew McConaughy so far.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: I think they equate attractiveness with likability.
Ryley: Mm.
Kat: And because like, Matthew McConaughy is like an attractive actor, he could never be from a small town, he could [00:24:00] never play this evil character. But you know what, for me, I fully read his character as an asshole.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And an antagonist. You don't have to be like, oh, well, if I admit that his character is an asshole and he's the antagonist in the story, then I'm admitting that Bernie did nothing wrong. Those lines don't connect like that.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: You can acknowledge that Bernie did something wrong.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And acknowledge that this human being that he's portraying is an asshole.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Yes, of course. There are points when he's like, why is everybody defending this man and acting like he didn't kill her when he did, like, I get that. Just because he's an attractive actor portraying I don't see how that makes him unbelievable.
Ryley: I 100% agree. Yeah. I mean, you said it perfectly.
Kat: I, I can't, I can't with these two.
Ryley: I know.
Kat: I can't.
Ryley: They're always, they always hate whatever movie we were watching. If it wasn't made, if it wasn't made before 1995, they're gonna hate it. I'm gonna move on before, before I say something. Basically end by saying the movie lacks the finer details to make the movie work to quote "a production of medium [00:25:00] affectations and general neutrality," whatever. They're not from Texas. I'll tell you that.
Kat: Yeah. This is like their own personal blog. No one's paying them to.
Ryley: No one's paying them to do this. And there's two asshole girls just shitting on them.
Kat: No one's paying us to do this.
Ryley: No, but we're gonna shit on 'em anyways. I actually, I'm fine with it. I'll shit on 'em.
Kat: This is making my week.
Ryley: Yep.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: Exactly. Move on to the next one.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: This is Out of Frame, Bernie review by Pat Padua. They talk about the opening with Bernie preparing the corpse, and now he add just enough details. So they personally look life, but not cartoonish, especially with the application of the blush, which they note Bernie has on as well. They point out the same concept could be said about Bernie and the way of like how he applies those finer details to a corpse and how they could, that could be similar to Bernie, applying certain details about his personality and how he is shown to the world. Not fake, but.
Kat: I see what point you're you're coming at.
Ryley: Mm-hmm .
Kat: He is clearly a closeted gay [00:26:00] person in a small town.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: And like he, he has to put on some sort of.
Ryley: Mask.
Kat: A layer of like separation from who he actually is when he's, it's just him. And like.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: The rest of the world, but there's still the authenticity of him within that.
Ryley: And that's what this person was trying to talk about.
Kat: Yeah. Yeah. Cuz he, I also agree with the, when, what they say with Jack Black portraying him too.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like that he doesn't turn him to a caricature.
Ryley: Yeah. And like what they said, they made the person look alive but not cartoonish. They go on to talk about Richard Linklater. He's a, he is also a Texan and seems to show a genuine small Texan town with a mix of actors and real people. But then they say, "but the stars play stereotypes from Shirley MacLaine's mean," I don't know this word.
Kat: Dowager.
Ryley: "Dowager to fellow Texan Matthew McConaughey's folksy district attorney. The worst offender is a performance that has earned the most praise," which I don't know if I agree with.
Kat: And, and that, that being Jack Black. I'm guessing.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: They are, as a [00:27:00] Texan.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I think done well. And it's also based on real people too.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Is the thing. It's not like they have, like, they're kind of being forced to use these stereotypes because that's how she was described by the town. That's how people who lived there saw her.
Ryley: Mm-hmm. They then criticize Jack Black's performance by saying, "Jack Black is one of those actors whose personality overwhelms any character he may create. Where others see it finely hewn, brave performance, I just see Jack Black wearing festive shirts and very carefully pretending to be gay. It doesn't help that, when Bernie sings in church, Black's gospel vocals sometimes reveal hints of Tenacious D dramatic inflection."
Kat: Okay. Um, has this person been, been to church in the south?
Ryley: No kidding. Like.
Kat: I think that's just one of those things where it's like, maybe you just don't know enough about the area.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Watch, watch us find out this person's from Texas.
Ryley: I know exactly.
Kat: It's hard to fully imitate someone's vocal.
Ryley: Yeah. Jack Black can sing and I, and I don't think it sounded like tenacious, it sound like Jack [00:28:00] Black, but it, I wouldn't go as far to make this criticism about that. I don't have a problem with what they're say talking about.
Kat: And I also don't see this as just Jack Black wearing festive shirts and like carefully pretending to be gay. He's it's not a hundred percent like bernie is out as gay.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Either. So there's like that weird gray area of like, should they have gotten a gay person to play this character.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Or whatever. And it's like, it's literally just people speculating on this man's sexuality in the movie. So it's.
Ryley: And, and we don't know for sure either we could be saying this and cause I don't think he's ever.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I don't think he's ever came out or confirmed anything. Not that I know of.
Kat: We don't know for sure if he has, but at the point of what the movie's portraying.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: No one has the correct answer of like, oh, he's out. But back to the original point here, like.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I don't think that he's just being Jack Black. Like.
Ryley: I don't think so either.
Kat: This does not, this is not how Jack Black just is in person. And you know, I also don't know Jack Black as a person, but neither does this [00:29:00] writer.
Ryley: No.
Kat: He transforms into Bernie in my opinion.
Ryley: I think that as well. I think what it comes down to is this person just doesn't get Jack Black's performance. They just don't get it.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I don't think that's that's not anyone's fault. That's just that person's opinion.
Kat: Like I said, with the last people, I can't, I can't.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: Just sit and argue with them. So I.
Ryley: Okay.
Kat: You know?
Ryley: They talk about how in the film, the town loves Bernie and notes how the trial had to be moved 50 miles away so he wouldn't get acquitted. But points out that quote, "but the town has mixed feelings about the film. District attorney Buck Davidson finds it inappropriate to make a black comedy about a real murder. Others may hope the film attracts a," macro macro Ray?
Kat: Macabre.
Ryley: Macabre. "Macabre class of tourists. If only Billy Wilder were alive. Bernie is part fictionalized, part documentary, and entirely well made, but the tone of its fictionalized elements put this uncomfortably close to mockumentary." I mean, that's what it is. It is a mockumentary. It probably rubbed them the wrong way is what it sounds like.
Kat: Yeah. [00:30:00]
Ryley: And I just don't think they got it.
Kat: I don't think they did either. Also Billy Wilder, he was an actor and director. Have you ever heard of the movie Sunset Boulevard?
Ryley: I've heard of it Uhhuh.
Kat: Or like the apartment.
Ryley: I've heard of that too.
Kat: From like the Sixties. Yeah. Um, so he's mostly known for like making films that treat controversial situations, humorously. The mention of him in this quote kind of dulls their point.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Because I feel like that's what this movie is.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: It's finding humorous elements in this controversial situation.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: They kind of just proved themselves wrong a little bit by mentioning Billy Wilder. I don't know. Maybe I'm maybe they meant it in a different way, but.
Ryley: I just, I think they, this one over their heads is what it sounds like. But this is the last critic review. Richard Linklater's Bernie is a wild Texas tale and the tagline, this is their, this is what they wrote, but this is the tagline of the movie. A story so unbelievable it must be true. This is by [00:31:00] Stephen Silver. Uh, they start by quoting, "Richard Linklater's Bernie is a film that could have gone wrong so easily, had it not mastered the tone of a tricky story and it's even trickier protagonist, but master it he did." They bring up that, okay, this is a, this is a wild take so just to prep you, but this, he did write this. I was like, okay, it's interesting enough I'll put it in.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Uh, they bring up that maybe misogyny played into the role of the town siding with a murderous man who killed a elderly woman. But, you know, they celebrated it because she was disliked. Uh, they say this maybe, but like the film doesn't explore that outlook. That's just his point.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: Guess you could say that. I, I also don't agree that this movie makes that point whatsoever. I didn't even, that didn't even cross my mind.
Kat: I get where he was coming from.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like you kinda have, you have to reframe.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: The movie a little bit.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: And like, not just the, like the situation a little bit.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Not necessarily saying that she didn't do anything bad or that she didn't push him or anything.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: But like, [00:32:00] people were very quick to jump on the side of Bernie. Maybe it was a little easier for them to reckon with how bad of a person she was.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Because she was also a woman kind of. I'm gonna compare this just.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like with Amber heard, like she clearly was in the wrong.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: But people were very quick to jump on shitting on her because it was their opportunity.
Ryley: And also defending Johnny Depp, but not saying Johnny Depp didn't do his own things either.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So it's like, it's I, I also find that very similar too. Not siding with anyone, but just throwing that out there.
Kat: Yeah. Yeah. I would agree. Like, I, I think that's probably a whole aspect of it. Exactly. Like the movie doesn't go into that. So.
Ryley: Exactly. Uh, but really point out the actors of the towns people and the real towns people, uh, they say, "but the best thing about Bernie is the world building of the town, thanks to the use of talking head interviews. Some are actors while others are actual people, but they tell the story in a funny and [00:33:00] colorful way. The film wouldn't have worked without them." I also agree.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Cause as much as we love the main cast like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I mean the townspeople are what is the meat of this movie, you know?
Kat: And I think what really, what makes it, so obviously a mockumentary in my opinion is like, if you're watching like a documentary about a true crime case and the person who did it is still alive.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: They're not included in the documentary.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And it's just the people who knew them or were alive when that happened or whatever. It read like a mock, it was a mockumentary.
Ryley: Yeah. I don't, yeah. You, you defined it correctly. I don't know why you're upset about it. Like, I don't, I don't understand how that was a negative point. But Stephen Silver ends his article by saying, he calls Bernie and underrated Linklater film. Which I also think it is, cuz it like it did well critically.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Uh, it did not do well, like making money in theaters.
Kat: I could see that because, um, I've talked about this movie before with other people and like, most of the people I mentioned this [00:34:00] movie to haven't seen it.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I also don't think it was marketed.
Ryley: I don't think it was either
Kat: very well either. Yeah.
Ryley: I, I don't think Linklater Linklater movies are, I don't think they ever are.
Kat: No.
Ryley: About the new one. I didn't know there was a new Linklater movie, but.
Kat: I didn't either until you brought it up.
Ryley: I don't think he's great at marketing. I think that's his thing though. Like he's never loud about, he puts it underground. He's one of those dudes that always wants things underground.
Kat: He's from Austin.
Ryley: Exactly. It's just, it's that pretentious. It's a different level of pretentiousness. I swear.
Kat: I mean, it, you could, you could say pretentiousness, but I also feel like it's kind of like he's making these for himself.
Ryley: Exactly. And I don't mean to be mean about it.
Kat: No. No, but I agree that there's a level of pretension in it.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: He's just happy with the movie he made kind of kind of person.
Ryley: Yeah. Well, he made boyhood didn't he? Cause that did, um, that did crazy good. They made it for like over like 20 years or something like that. They made it for years and years and years.
Kat: Yeah, that was him.
Ryley: Okay. Okay. There you go. [00:35:00] So he has movies that are very obviously famous so that there's some, you know, he'll just push out a new movie and it's just, no one knows about it.
Kat: Sorry. I'm just looking through the other. I didn't know he did Bad News Bears.
Ryley: He does he did a bunch. I didn't name 'em all, but like he did do a bunch.
Kat: I just, I like the movies by him that I've seen.
Ryley: Exactly. School of Rock. That movie's not a comfort movie. That's a movie you sit down and listen.
Kat: You're not on your phone during that one.
Ryley: No, you respect that movie.
Kat: Dazed and Confused. We were obsessed with that movie in high school.
Ryley: Love it. Oh yeah. Oh, I don't think there's a high schooler that wasn't.
Kat: You can't go through, you can't go through high school without watching that movie.
Ryley: You can't. So this is a, that was the last critic review. Now we can go on to audience.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: We will start with a 10 outta 10 review from IMDB. Titled, "Texas true," that was written in 2011. "I had the privilege of singing this film in Austin last month. Mr. Linklater was among the thousands devastated by the fires in Bastrop county and with his hard work and help from Jack Black and crew, they turned the screening into a fundraiser to help the fire [00:36:00] victims."
Kat: Aww.
Ryley: "They raised over $155,000. It was a great event. The movie was the best part." If you, "if you live or have lived in a small town anywhere in America you'll get this movie and you won't be able to stop laughing. If you're in Texas or you hate Texas, it'll be just that much better."
Kat: I'm both.
Ryley: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah that's a great way to put it. If, if you live in Texas, you love it and you hate it. So.
Kat: Yeah. Or like, I mean, like if you are somebody who likes making fun of Texas, it's, you watch it.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's, it's fantastic for that. Uh. "The characters are real. The acting is superb. Jack is at the top of his game and Matthew did an outstanding job. He played his role right on the edge. Always close to going over the top, but never getting there." Which I very much agree with. Matthew McConaughey's characters like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Close, but they're, they're good. They don't, they don't go over.
Kat: Number eight, Danny Bucks [00:37:00] coming to get you next.
Ryley: He's fantastic in this movie, I love him.
Kat: I didn't realize how much I could line by line.
Ryley: You've been doing it this whole podcast. I'm astounded.
Kat: Okay. I didn't mention this at the beginning. I'll mention it here. Um, I told you about this.
Ryley: Uhhuh.
Kat: But my family was obsessed with this movie. My mom, my dad and I, and when we would go out and have like family dinner, we would literally, one of us would pull out our phone and we owned it on iTunes and just start watching the movie at the dinner table. So I've seen this movie a lot.
Ryley: I love that. I can only imagine the families sitting next to you. If I was a family sitting next to you, I would be wanting to watch that while you're watching it. It's just so funny. "Shirley."
Kat: Also sorry.
Ryley: No, no, go ahead.
Kat: Sorry. Just wanted to say, cause I think I, I told you this too.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And she listens to this podcast, so I'll mention it. My sister would get mad that we would do this, cuz we wouldn't just watch that movie we would watch the Dark Knight at, at dinner sometimes. Like we would, we would just.
Ryley: Oh my God.
Kat: We could not, we [00:38:00] didn't wanna talk to each other. We just wanted to watch a movie while we ate and she would be like, can we just have a conversation like a normal family please?
Ryley: Oh my God. That's so funny.
Kat: Shut up. We're watching Bernie.
Ryley: Shh.
Kat: Shh. Don't talk. We're in a movie theater.
Ryley: That is so funny. My goodness.
Kat: I'm sorry to interrupt this.
Ryley: No, you're fine. "Shirley is a gem and acted like I've never seen her before. Thank you, Richard, for your film and your efforts in Bastrop. My farm survived, but too many friends lost everything. Oh, and thanks for letting me be in this film. Woohoo that's me at the end Ma!!" I don't know who this person is. I tried looking it up, but I thought this was just such a wonderful review. You know?
Kat: That's really sweet.
Ryley: I love this. I was like, that's this is a perfect positive one. Like he's not just writing it because like, oh, he got money or like Bastrop got money for it, but like he enjoyed the film. Like it's very sweet.
Kat: Yeah. That's a, that's a really sweet review. I had no idea that there were fires in Bastrop at that time.
Ryley: I didn't either.
Kat: But that's amazing that like the whole crew.
Ryley: [00:39:00] Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like, they just, they just turned it into a fundraiser.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: That's really sweet.
Ryley: It was very sweet. I don't know who this person is though at the end. I really wish I knew who this person was in the movie.
Kat: Something that I wanted to mention that they said about the, like, if you're in Texas or you hate Texas.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I think that's just like the beauty of this, because like, you know, Linklaters from here.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: He knows how to make fun of this. Like make fun of Texas and show like an appreciation for the people who live here. Like I think it's, I think that's why it's so good.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like, if somebody from not Texas tried to write this movie, I don't think it would've.
Ryley: I'd punch them.
Kat: been the same at all.
Ryley: I'd punch I'd be offended.
Kat: Yeah, as much as I, as much as I hate it here, like I don't, I would be like, okay, well you're coming for me now. And I cannot let you just.
Ryley: Only a texan can say.
Kat: You leave my grandma's name out of your mouth.
Ryley: Only at Texas can say they hate Texas or call it the stupid shit of Texas. No one else could do that.
Kat: Cause everyone tries to and it's like, you don't get it.
Ryley: Yeah, don't come here.
Kat: I understand we're the fucking worst.
Ryley: Yeah. I, Oh i get it.
Kat: But no, no one hates Texas, like at Texan. Okay.
Ryley: There's so many things you can criticize Texas [00:40:00] about. Our politics. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's fair, game.
Kat: Yeah, but like we're not all on that side.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly. I don't have a horse.
Kat: No, I don't. I didn't ride my horse to school.
Ryley: I didn't ride my horse to school. I wish I could though. I always wished I could.
Kat: This is just another slight side point just based on that.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I remember going to Florida as a kid and like, I don't think I sound like I'm from here at all.
Ryley: I don't think you do either.
Kat: I went to Florida and they were like, I love your accent. Are you like from Texas? And I was like, I sound like I'm from nowhere. Like I have a non accent, like what are you talking about.
Ryley: I would never, I don't think you, you sound like you're from Texas. Oh, I could only imagine what I sound like.
Kat: You sound like you are clutching your pearls 24/7.
Ryley: Yeah, I would. All right.
Kat: It only. For me, it only comes out when I'm talking to old people.
Ryley: Yeah. I can see that. Yeah. [00:41:00] That charm that Southern charm, that Texas charm it comes out that is funny. Oh my God. Because like you don't, I don't think you have an accent either.
Kat: No.
Ryley: So.
Kat: The same thing happens with Noah cuz he's he's a waiter.
Ryley: And see I don't think Noah has an accent either.
Kat: No, no, no, no. With the old people thing, like.
Ryley: Oh, okay.
Kat: When he goes up to a table, he's like, well, howdy y'all.
Ryley: That's fucking funny.
Kat: Yes. But sorry. Next time to get angry.
Ryley: Exactly. So this is a one out time review from IMDB is titled, "pointless, best avoided." This was written in 2012.
Kat: Clever.
Ryley: The only thing about this movie that I can't fault is the acting. Jack Black plays a convincing character without falling back on his usual comedy staple, and the rest of the cast aren't wooden and fit their," re respect, "respective parts very well. The main issue I have with this film is understanding why it was made. The story isn't particularly interesting, even though it's true, the film feels overly long and drawn. And by the end, you're hoping it [00:42:00] gets hope that the payoff of four year time spent and during the dullness is slow. Pace is going to be worth it, but it mostly definitely isn't, you're just left feeling unsatisfied and wondering why, whoever decided to make this film felt it was worth making as it was very much not worth watching. The story really didn't need telling further than perhaps a short article in a local newspaper. If it had been beautifully shot, directed, scripted, anything really, it might have done something to dispel the disappointment, but it wasn't. Everything about this film, other than perhaps the acting, is a decidedly average and uninspiring, with a storyline and ending to match." You didn't get it, dude. You just didn't get it. Don't know what else to tell you.
Kat: See, this is the second person who has said something like this so far.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And the thing that I'm wondering is like, is it just the fact that this movie is about the people? I know that this, this specific crime, like the way he killed her and like how everything happened like that really isn't like the most interesting, true, true crime [00:43:00] case on the planet.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: But it paints like the two char like it's about the characters and it's also, the town itself is a character. Like it it's ju I just, I just don't think some, some people just might not like a movie like this, where it's it's not about what's happening. It's about the people.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like it's similar to the criticism that O Brother Where Art Thou got.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Where it was like, nothing's happening. Like, why is this a movie? Like, not like it's about the, the characters, like it's it's about the people and how they are. Like, what I don't I think these people just don't like that in a movie.
Ryley: It it's, it just goes over their head.
Kat: Maybe this person doesn't like documentaries, like I just, the energy that it has is like, I will watch a documentary about literally anything.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Maybe this person just is not into that, cuz there's no use in arguing with this.
Ryley: Exactly. You just didn't get it and I'm not gonna waste my time explaining to you why it's good. You just didn't get it. Sorry.
Kat: Yeah, it's just, it just wasn't for you.
Ryley: Lost on [00:44:00] you. This next one is three stars. Written in 2022, Bernie is a relentlessly weird movie. It's got Linklater doing a lot of Coen brothers tricks and it was also purported as a comedy when it was first released, which isn't exactly true. It's got the dark comedic undertones of things like Fargo and it's got a lot of east Texas in there. The cast is great, the question mark in it is McConaughey, which kind of just see steams by on charm for whatever reason. Overall, one of Linklater's better, bigger name experiments, but still extremely odd."
Kat: I don't necessarily think that it was a dig for them to compare it to the Coen brothers.
Ryley: No, I don't. I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I love the Coen Brothers.
Kat: I just, I just don't think that they were necessarily pointing it out as a bad thing.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: It, it is a, it is a comedy though. Like it.
Ryley: Mm-hmm , it is a comedy it's not wrong per se. It's a comedy. It's definitely a comedy. Yeah. A dark comedy. Absolutely.
Kat: How many movies have you seen where you watched the trailer and then you went and saw the movie and it was completely different.
Ryley: [00:45:00] Yeah.
Kat: Or like it wasn't exactly the trailer.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Sometimes I think that's a good way to do it. Like if a movie's telling me exactly what this movie's gonna be in the trailer, I probably won't get much out of it.
Ryley: I think that throws people off so hard though. I think.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I think people get it locked in their head. What they're gonna see. I want it so different. They're like, oh, well that wasn't exactly what I thought it was gonna be. So I dislike it. I actually do think that can hinder a movie a lot, especially when people have an expectation in their head.
Kat: That's fair. I do. I will say the movie, a lot of movies that I've liked the most are movies that I've gone in with nothing known about it. Like, I don't know really much about it.
Ryley: I think that's the best way to go see a movie.
Kat: Yeah. That's how I saw this movie.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And I think like, even if I did know what it was about, I would, I would still enjoy this movie, but I
Ryley: yes.
Kat: Could understand how somebody would watch it and. It just,
Ryley: mm-hmm.
Kat: Have that idea that it's supposed to be funny the whole time and have somebody like Jack Black in it.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: And like, not be that. And then the thing with [00:46:00] Matthew McConaughy is like, I think the charm aspect.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Of his acting in this does the character well, it has that like small town politician thing. Who's like actually a little bit crooked and is kind of a dick, but like he's still doing his job and getting recognized for it because of the charm.
Ryley: Texas charm. If anything, I think that's what makes the character more real. more realistic. And I love that character. I think it's, he's really funny.
Kat: I think what is getting some of the people that you've like read reviews from so far is like having to have that moral question in your head.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Where it's like, am I allowed to hate this old lady? Am I allowed to think that the guy, the prosecutor in this situation is an asshole while he's trying to prosecute someone who actually did commit crime? But everybody loves this guy and he's shown as like the protagonist and like people having to have this internal struggle about who, what, how they should feel about the people in this movie.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I feel like throws people off.
Ryley: Oh yeah. Definitely. Like I don't people have a hard time [00:47:00] wondering where they should stand.
Kat: And I don't think you need to have a stance.
Ryley: I don't think you do either. I literally think you could just wash this and just kind of just go with it, just go with it. You don't have, at the end of the movie, you could have whatever perspective you want. He murdered an old lady. You could think he's a bad person.
Kat: That's fine. Yeah.
Ryley: That's fine. Or you watch the movie and go like, well, she was a bitch she had a coming which a lot of people have the stance on. Or you could do research, try to make up your own mind or, you know, just, I don't just be neutral. Like.
Kat: Yeah, you don't have to have a stance.
Ryley: You don't have to, you don't, not everyone needs an opinion about everything like, seriously. Y'all like.
Kat: But I mean we're building our podcast around people having opinions about everything.
Ryley: Yeah. But other people don't have need to have an opinion. I can have one, I have a podcast.
Kat: Keep writing these, keep writing these reviews. We need them.
Ryley: Exactly. But I'm not gonna say you're not annoying about it.
Kat: Yeah. I, I don't think, I think the, the main point of that is just you, your stance on these [00:48:00] people does not have anything to do with whether or not it's an enjoyable movie.
Ryley: Exactly. That was my main point.
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: I went a little rant, but exactly, you don't have to have a stance. You, you could just watch the movie for what it is.
Kat: Yeah, like we've always said.
Ryley: Right. Moving on to a one out of 10 star review. It was written in 2012. The title is, "no humor. No action, no suspense, no romance, no terror. Why watch!" "This is the worst Jack Black movie I've ever seen. They try to make it funny by depicting Bernie as Mr. Wonderful, intelligent, great salesman, great business man, very compassionate, very generous, helps everybody, great makeup artists, great mortician and great everything. Most of the characters are typical small town ignorance. I am from Texas and none of the people I know are like that."
Kat: Okay. You just might not know people like that. I just happen to know people exactly like the people in this movie. I'm sorry.
Ryley: I mean, I do too, like this is that's the whole thing.
Kat: It doesn't mean they don't exist just cuz you've never met one.
Ryley: Exactly. No kidding.
Kat: The world's bigger than just you.
Ryley: Exactly exactly. [00:49:00] Texas is bigger than you think. You know?
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: "The movie is just plain flat from getting to end. All the reviews with three stars or less are very accurate. Watch it, when it goes on Showtime, this way you could change the channel," and it won't have, "and it won't have cost you anything. The only good thing I can say is that Jack Black is a very good actor."
Kat: Um, you have to pay extra to have Showtime for your cable package.
Ryley: Exactly. So, I don't know what your point is. "The only good thing I could say is that Jack Black is a very good actor that is proved with this movie that still doesn't make this movie good. My 10 year old daughter, and I felt cheated out of a $1.30. We rented it at red box." Did your daughter had to split it with like split the cost with you? Like.
Kat: Did you take it out of her allowance?
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like what happened?
Ryley: I'm sorry a $1.30. "My daughter now thinks Jack Black is not funny anymore and doesn't want me to ever rent any of his movies. I told her that the economy's bad right now, and it has affected actors as well. Actors will take any movie just to make money to feed their [00:50:00] families. She said she will give Jack Black another opportunity." Well, thank God.
Kat: That's the only good thing that you've done in this whole situation is taught your daughter that you can't just discount people after one thing. But also, um, where in, I would just wanna know where in Texas, this person's from.
Ryley: I do too.
Kat: Because I could say like.
Ryley: He's from the panhandle.
Kat: Probably, yeah. But like my, my dad's side of the family is from west Texas, not east Texas. And they are all very, very similar to the people in this movie. You have, your family has lived in DFW, like for,
Ryley: oh yeah.
Kat: Forever and.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: You know, you know, people like that.
Ryley: I have family like that.
Kat: LIke, I wanna know my family's been in Texas for fucking ever on my dad's side.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like, and with same with you, like it's.
Ryley: We're Texans.
Kat: Are you new here? Like, come on.
Ryley: I don't know. I just think it's so funny that they brought their daughter to us. Their daughter just ended up hating Jack Black. I was like, [00:51:00] first off a ten I, I can't see a ten year old actually enjoy this movie. I don't know. How old were you?
Kat: I was 11 or 12. I, I enjoyed it.
Ryley: I enjoyed it too. That's the whole thing. So.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I don't know.
Kat: I, I feel like this is a family of people with no sense of humor.
Ryley: I think so too. That's what I get from all these executive reviews. These people just don't get it.
Kat: Also um, so this movie's worse than the movie, the Cable Guy?
Ryley: What movie is it?
Kat: A critical failure with Jim Carey called the Cable Guy.
Ryley: Oh yeah. I've seen that.
Kat: Jack Black's in this. Is that, so Bernie's worse than this one?
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I could go, I could go on. What the fuck is the Jackle? That looks bad. A 36 from critics out of a hundred.
Ryley: Yikes.
Kat: And Bernie's worse than that? Okay.
Ryley: I'm just now remembering, Jack Black is in Cable Guy.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: He plays like a really small part. He plays like, I just don't get it.
Kat: What did you live in the city your whole life, like, what is this?
Ryley: That's what I'm thinking like it has to be like, I don't know. Am I a city person? Not really.
Kat: No. We grew, we grew up in the suburbs.
Ryley: Yeah. We grew up in the suburbs. But it's [00:52:00] three and a half and this is the, I should have put this one in the front, but this person says this movie is my comfort movie. It just says, "this is my comfort movie."
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: This is a one out of ten from IMDB, titled, "watch it if you like lame exposition mechanisms used excessively." This was written in 2020. "Jack Black might have given the performance of a lifetime, it could have been a great movie but I don't know because I couldn't get past the interview style exposition. It was fine for the first five minutes since when it is done, it is done to bootstrap the plot and give a nice start to a story. But when the whole movie, not sure if it continued to the end I skipped 75% and landed on an interview shot, but when the whole movie is small scene stitched between interview pieces, it is a bit too much. The interview style exposition was repetitive, it was uninspired,and it was just frustrating. Sorry, but I really hated it," you must not like the office then.
Kat: That's what I was thinking. But also I understand that the biggest thing that like you probably learned too, like you've taken any editing, like film editing classes, like 180 degree rule or whatever.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: So it's not like jarring [00:53:00] and you're not taken out of it. I understand that having people talk directly to the camera is jarring.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: It's repetitive. I don't really find it uninspired. There aren't a lot of movies that set themselves up as mockumentaries. It's more of like a TV show thing these days.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Too jarring for this person, but also they didn't give themselves a chance past the first five minutes to like you get to the facts that these people are talking directly to the camera.
Ryley: And the whole movie isn't that there are other scenes, like. This is a three star one from Letterboxd. "It's pretty wild that Richard Linklater made a whole film dedicated to dunking on a dead woman and getting people on the side of his friend the murderer. Matthew McConaughey is acting in an entirely different movie though."
Kat: Does kind of seem like Matthew McConaughy is acting in a different movie.
Ryley: That's really funny.
Kat: That adds to the fact that his character disagrees with the rest of the town.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I don't, I don't know if that was intentional or not, is the thing.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I'm not gonna say they're a hundred percent wrong.
Ryley: Here like we said before [00:54:00] there, this movie takes a side. Definitely not to say doesn't, but there's another side and people could believe that.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: That's why two, there are stances you could take with this movie. Yes, he murdered this woman and that's not good. That is bad.
Kat: I don't think he's a good person because like, because the movie told me, so.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: I, I don't have a personal opinion on him as a person is.
Ryley: I've never met him. So I don't know.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I just know he murdered a lady, but a lot of people liked him.
Kat: Yeah, exactly.
Ryley: This next one is a one out of 10, it's written in 2012. It's called "worst movie of Jack Black's career." "Seriously, this movie is the worst movie ever of Jack Black's career. Hey directors, listen up, first off, you need a better storyline than what was started off in the beginning. It was awful. You need to get your audience captured from the very start. For example, Hunger Games, captures the audience and keeps them wanting more. This movie kept dragging and dragging and I was bored completely outta my mind, as well as the rest of my family. I was so completely dissatisfied with the movie. Directors. You should have been fired after this movie. I am just being honest. I was falling asleep for the start. So sad. I was really [00:55:00] hoping this was going to be a better movie than how it started out." So this is top tier funny to me. What so talks about how crappy a movie is, and they just free ball a movie so unrelated to what, what they're talking about and go, this is a better movie than this. That is top tier funny to me, especially when we read these reviews. Bernie. Hunger Games.
Kat: Yeah, I know. I know that. Okay. Maybe here. Wait. And my favorite thing is to try and see how they got from A to B.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: So both movies are trying to make a murderer likable.
Ryley: Yep. There you go. I, I guess.
Kat: What is Katniss? Not a murderer?
Ryley: What is she? I mean, she is. She definitely is. That is so fucking funny. The way that is top tier funny, a top tier humor to me.
Kat: And here's the thing. When I saw that in this review, I was like, damn, I agree with them on something, Hunger Games does make you want more. But I just like, like they, to the thing is [00:56:00] like, it's the worst movie he's ever been in? Oh my.
Ryley: No, it's not.
Kat: Respectfully, disrespectfully. I, I disagree.
Ryley: It's just it's it's they just throw me off. They threw me off with that Hunger Games. I'm like, okay, this person's on a d- this is person's on a different plane than I am. I'm not gonna, I'm not even gonna entertain it other than just reading the review. This next one is no, no stars whatsoever. It just says, "iPhone."
Kat: It's from like last week.
Ryley: Yeah. It's from last week too. They just said iPhone. So I guess.
Kat: You tell 'em.
Ryley: It wasn't accurate enough.
Kat: I'm just, I'm just thinking they watched the movie and were like, I need to log it and I have to say something.
Ryley: Reviews like this just make me think someone,
Kat: mm-hmm
Ryley: they're gonna forget this exists, but it's gonna exist forever. This next one is three and a half stars. They go, "look, this is obviously biased in Bernie's favor, but how in the name of God did he get a life sentence?"
Kat: That's what I'm saying.
Ryley: This is another take. That one person had a take, this is another take.
Kat: I think this is a personally think this is a good, a good [00:57:00] take.
Ryley: He originally got 50 years. I don't know how he got more after.
Kat: They probably had, uh, something similar to what we saw in the movie again with like the family members.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Putting on a, a show in the courtroom.
Ryley: They hadn't spoken to years try sue her over money. Well it's all fake. They just.
Kat: Like I said, at the very beginning, there's people who have done worse crimes that are serving way less time.
Ryley: Yep.
Kat: But good point.
Ryley: This next one is the whole reason why I picked Bernie for this week, but I saw it on Twitter. Someone was going Jack Black, you know, Adam Sandler was in Uncut Gems. So they were like Jack Black needs his own version of Uncut Gems and then people were going, uh, Bernie. And I kind of agree. I think that's kind of, I would love to see him in more serious stuff too, but it kind of is his Uncut Gems in my opinion.
Kat: I agree. I agree that it is like it's.
Ryley: It's still comedic.
Kat: Adam Sandler was.
Ryley: I'm sorry. I've watched Uncut Gems. That movie is a comedy if you watch it in a certain way, that movie is actually really funny.
Kat: 100%. And this one, [00:58:00] it has comedy as a, like a blanket over the seriousness. But like when you get to the trial, like anything, everything post him killing her like that's a very serious,
Ryley: it is.
Kat: Tonal shift in the movie.
Ryley: And the trial too. Like the trial isn't funny.
Kat: Just cuz he's played Kung Fu Panda and Nacho Libre doesn't mean he can't, he hasn't done something like this. But I agree. I think that this is, this is his Uncut Gems.
Ryley: I, I absolutely agree. And what the original review that I'm reading off it's three and a half stars. They go, "is this Jack Black's Uncut Gems?" I, I agree. It is. This one's just out there. It's four stars, "lesbians for Jack Black?"
Kat: Question mark.
Ryley: Question mark. I forgot the question mark. This that makes it even funnier, but I was like, sure. Why not? I don't know what they mean by it, but like okay.
Kat: Since it is pride month, I'll explain a little, the context of.
Ryley: That's probably why I included it.
Kat: As our one member of the LGBT. Um, it's just kind of like a thing where different sections of the LGBT have like an actor that like most people [00:59:00] in that group are like obsessed with. Have the lesbians claimed him like?
Ryley: They can.
Kat: Yeah. I think he.
Ryley: I don't think he would mind.
Kat: I mean, everybody loves him, but that's you always wanna have, if you guys wanna, as a group have an obsession, that's fine.
Ryley: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Kat: I get it.
Ryley: I'm sure he would love it too. He's very, uh, he's a wonderful man. And I know he's, pretty sure he's done things for the LGBTQ community.
Kat: Yeah. I don't know for sure, but I did really enjoy his, um, Rocky Horror cover that he did.
Ryley: Aw.
Kat: Before the election. It was really good too.
Ryley: He's very talented.
Kat: He does the time warp.
Ryley: That's such a him song to cover.
Kat: If that wasn't for the gay, I don't know who it was was for.
Ryley: No kidding. This one is three and a half stars. "I'm not gonna lie I watched it when I was a little kid," so I thought it was made up or like, no, "so I thought I made this up," which is so, oh my God, that makes it even funnier. Holy crap.
Kat: Oh, I have, I have a there's I have a few movies like that.
Ryley: Uhhuh. This next one. I really like, cuz I also remember this quote very well just the way Jack Black delivers it. [01:00:00] It's four it's four and a half stars. And it's that scene where his, his, I guess his boss. "No! Don!" No. I love it. I love it. It's fantastic.
Kat: Gonna get lucky.
Ryley: Get her all liquored up.
Kat: No! Don!
Ryley: No! Don! Just the way he says it. It's so good. It's just, I just love it. I'm glad someone else wrote it down. This next one. I really like just cuz I it's just kind of funny. It's four stars. They go, "my mom loves this movie."
Kat: Me too.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly. I don't- I think my moms seen it I think she likes it. The next one's three and a half stars. "Always have time for movies with a hour and a half/hour run time." Yes. I love that. It is my favorite, "the perfect Jack Black semi-series role, just the writing about of quirkiness to let him be a little goofy without going school of rock level ridiculous. Matthew McConaughey is to Linklater what De Niro is to Scorsese. Criterion channel rocks and I might actually pay real money," for, "for it instead of churning free trial." So.
Kat: I feel ya [01:01:00] there.
Ryley: God this one's just bat shit. I do the most bat shit one's towards the end.
Kat: That's my favorite emoji right now like one eyebrow raised.
Ryley: It's really good.
Kat: Suspicious face.
Ryley: Suspicious face.
Kat: It's my favorite.
Ryley: This is so out of left field. Three and a half stars. Makes me suspicious of my cousin. What the fuck? What'd your cousin do?
Kat: With the, with the one eyebrow up emoji?
Ryley: Yeah. With the, yeah. And this is the last one.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: Ten out of ten. "Loved it. In spite of myself," this is written in 2015. "I know I'm not supposed to like a flick like this because it's got all the wrong things; interviews, way too much exposition, an operatic style, simple story, drawn out to drawn out to feature length, and so much more. But it's such an obvious labor of love. And what a story! It's very simple, and the moral is a direct one. Every last mother-loving one of us has within us the potential to act out that which Bernie did. Of course, there's a lot that the movie does very, very well. The most important thing, of course, is how the set up for the critical moment is cleverly [01:02:00] designed and paced to drive home the all important moral."
Kat: I think that, yeah, that perfectly captures everything that we've said.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like, I guess I didn't, I didn't, I guess we didn't ever bring up the fact that like, anyone can be pushed to that point.
Ryley: Absolutely.
Kat: This person basically just.
Ryley: They, they tied it all together for us, really.
Kat: They did.
Ryley: Tied those last little, last little things.
Kat: With the added, like internal, moral questioning that you have to do with this movie.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I didn't, I never really heard the term like operatic.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I didn't really know that's what that, I mean, I've heard the term, but I didn't know that it that's exactly what it meant. Good way to put it too.
Ryley: I've heard, uh, people describe this movie as Gothic too.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Yeah. Southern Gothic.
Kat: For sure. Personally would also give this movie a 10 outta 10.
Ryley: It's it's such a good movie.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Lovable movie. I wanna be, I wanna be like, oh, you know, it's a eight out of ten. It deserves a 10 out of 10. It's a good movie.
Kat: The issues that were brought up with it. I don't.
Ryley: I disagree with.
Kat: I, even if I find truth in them, [01:03:00] I don't think it takes away from my enjoyment of it.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: Okay. I have nothing else to add. Do you have anything else you wanna say?
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Okay. Well, you can find us on our Instagram and TikTok at Easy Bake Takes. Our DMS are open on Instagram. You can reach out to us on there. Give us feedback, give us suggestions. Just let us know what you think. And also thank you so much for listening. This has been Easy Bake Takes. My name is Kat.
Ryley: And I'm Ryley.
Kat: Easy watching out there. Bye.
Ryley: Bye.