Church of the Monster House (Monster House Review)
Ryley picked the last movie of the Halloween Horror Marathon. She went with the absolute classic, Monster House (2006)!
Review Overview: Genuinely indescribable how good this movie is. Some people might not agree, but if you enjoy this movie, you get it.
If you like children's horror, this is one of the best in that genre. If you watched it as a kid, it still holds up, maybe not the animation but the rest of it for sure. Or perhaps if you like a movie that blends darker/serious topics with lighthearted humor, you might like it.
Kat and Ryley: 9/10
Both: [00:00:00] Hello
Kat: and welcome to
Both: Easy Bake Takes.
Ryley: The podcast!
Kat: Where we read you the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. My name's kat.
Ryley: And I'm Ryley, and this week we are doing Monster House.
Kat: Woo.
Ryley: Shout out to my friend Kale who said we should do this one.
Kat: I'll just say this at the top.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: This movie is quite honestly, and you'll understand the severity of the statement. This is number two Coraline for me.
Ryley: It's so funny you say that cuz there's a audience review that mentions that. This is like one of those movies that always stuck with me.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: It came out in 2006. I was like eight, and I saw this in theaters, like with my family.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: But like I say, it came out in 2006, it's rated pg. It's an hour to 31 minutes, so it's a perfect hour and a half movie, but I'm gonna go ahead and start reading the plot.
Kat: [00:01:00] I didn't realize this movie was set in the eighties.
Ryley: I just found that when I was researching it, I did not know that either. I thought was like, just like a, a generic, you know, like.
Kat: It looks like 2000s out there.
Ryley: Yes. I didn't think anything of it. I really didn't think this was placed in a before time. I totally understand that now when reading it or like seeing it.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: On October 30th, 1983 in Mayville, Wisconsin, the parents of 12 year old DJ Walters go to a dentist convention for the weekend, leaving him in the care of babysitter Zee. DJ's hobby is spying on his elderly neighbor Horace Nebbercracker who scares children away from his front yard and confiscates their belongings. After DJ's best friend Chowder, mislays his basketball on Nebbercracker's lawn, Nebbercracker catches DJ attempting to retrieve it, but appears to die of a heart attack from overexerting himself and is taken away by an ambulance. That night, DJ receives phone calls from the house, with no voice on the other end. Zee's drunk boyfriend, Bones- I'm sorry. [00:02:00] Z's drunk boyfriend Bones comes over the night.
Kat: Jason Lee.
Ryley: Yes. Jason Lee. Comes over for the night and reveals that as a child, Nebbercracker stole his kite and was allegedly rumored to have eaten his wife. After Zee throws him out, he sees his lost kite in the house's front yard, but is abducted by the house while attempting to retrieve it. DJ and Chowder investigate but retreat when the house comes alive and attacks them. The next morning, school girl, Jenny Bennett, sells Halloween candy and goes to the house. Dj, the- DJ and chowder save her from-
Kat: DJ the Chowder.
Ryley: DJ, and chowder save her before she gets eaten. Jenny calls police officers, Landers and Lister, who do not believe the trio because the house is inactive when adults are present. The trio consults supernatural expert Reginald Skull Skullinski, learning that the house is a rare monster created when a human soul merges with a manmade structure and it can only be killed by destroying its heart. Concluding that Nebbecracker's spirit was responsible and the heart must be its furnace. They create and bring a dummy [00:03:00] containing cold medicine from a pharmacy owned by Chowder's father. Before the dummy reaches the house however, Landers and Lister thwart their plan and arrest them after Landers discovers the stolen medicine. Before they can leave, the house devours everyone andthe police vehicle. After the house falls asleep, the three begin exploring it. In the basement, they find a shrine contain cement in case skeleton of Nebbercracker's, late wife Constance. The house attacks them, though they force it to vomit them outside by grabbing its uvula.
Kat: So it's a girl house.
Ryley: It's a girl. He's not wrong.
Kat: He's got the right spirit.
Ryley: Yeah. Nebbercracker returns alive and well revealing that the house is actually possessed by Constance's spirit. As a young man he met Constance, then an unwilling member of a circus freak show and fell in love with her. After helping her escape, they were married and he bought a piece of land to construct a house. One Halloween, two children torment Constance for her size. Constance becomes enraged and attempted to chase off the children with an axe. When Nebbercracker attempted to stop her, she [00:04:00] accidentally tripped and fell to her death in the unfinished basement of the house, in the process inadvertently activating a cement mixer that buried her body. Nebbercracker finished the house, as it was what Constance would have wanted. However, Constance's vengeful spirit possessed it afterwards, forcing him to scare children away for their safety. DJ convinces Nebbercracker that he must let Constance go. Enraged, the house uses a pair of trees as limbs and breaks free from the foundation and chases after the group. The house corners them near the construction site. Nebbercracker tries to comfort Constance and tells her realizing the trouble she has caused. Nebbercracker attempts to destroy the house with some dynamite and it attempts to kill him. Chowder intervenes using an excavator from the construction site and Nebbercracker gives DJ the dynamite. Both Jenny and DJ fall into the yard and they tell chowder to get the house in it. The house slips down the hill and collapses in the process. Their victory is short-lived though when the house rebuilds itself with its remaining parts and chases chowder, disabling the excavator in the [00:05:00] process. DJ ascends the nearby crane, and with Jenny's help manages to throw the dynamite into the house's chimney, destroying it, and releasing Constance's ghost, who the trio see dancing with Nebbercracker before ascending to the afterlife. DJ apologizes to Nebbercracker for his loss but Nebbercracker thanks to trio for freeing him and Constance from being trapped in the house for 45 years. That night, the children Nebbercracker drove away line up at the former site of the house, where the group returns everything confiscated by Nebbercracker. DJ and chowder go trick or treating, which they initially felt they were too old for. During the credits those who were eaten by the house emerge from the basement. Bones finds that Zee is now dating Skull, officer Landers and Officer Lister leave to investigate some of the trick or treating candy and a dog urinates on a nearby jack-o-lantern enough to extinguish the- its flames.
Kat: So good.
Ryley: It's very, very good. We have the director, Gill Kenan. We have writers Dan Harmon. For those who don't know, he wrote Community and part of Rick and Morty.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: A few other things. So I was really shocked by that. I was like, that kind of [00:06:00] makes sense though.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Other writers were Rob Schrab and Pamela Pettler. And the cast is Steve Buscemi playing Nebbercracker, Mitchell Musso playing the DJ. We have Sam Lerner who plays Chowder. We have Maggie Gyllenhaal, who plays Zee. We have Spencer Locke, who plays Jenny. John Heder who plays Reginald Skull. Kevin James plays Officer Landers. Jason Lee plays Bones. Nick Cannon plays Officer Lister.
Kat: I didn't realize that was him.
Ryley: I know, right? I didn't realize a lot of people were in this movie.
Kat: The only other one that surprised me this time was Jason Lee. I don't know why I never knew Jason Lee was Bones.
Ryley: It never, I don't think it connected until recently, but yeah jason Lee's is Bones.
Kat: I knew who he was as a kid. My family loved my name as Earl.
Ryley: Yes, my dad did too. I watched the show a bunch.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Kathleen Turner plays Constance. Katherine O'Hara plays the mom, DJ's mom.
Kat: Moira Rose.
Ryley: And Fred Willard plays the dad, which I always knew. Like I can pick Fred Willard's voice out anytime.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: But I do have some trivia. [00:07:00] As of 2018, this is the only motion capture film to feature an entirely original story and not be based on existing source material. Isn't that messed up?
Kat: Yeah. I didn't, I guess that never clicked. I guess they, they also don't do motion capture as much anymore.
Ryley: Mm-hmm they don't.
Kat: Yeah. But that is cool.
Ryley: It is really cool. I'm glad that does. This takes place in 1983, which I think is just like a fun little thing to add to it.
Kat: It seemed like it was just based in 1983, so they didn't have cell phones, you know?
Ryley: Yeah. That's another thing too. Yeah. Chow's line, "DJ, you pissing bottles?" Had to be re-dubbed to, "You pee in bottles?" To help maintain a PG rating. John Heder who played Skull tripped over wiring or broke his ankle the first day on set.
Kat: This is like the only animated movie where that matters.
Ryley: No kidding. Yeah. Oh, I love this fact. For the German version of the film, Bones, Skull and Chowder have been renamed to Punk, Freak, and Ketchup.
Kat: Ketchup.
Ryley: I lost it when [00:08:00] I read this one.
Kat: Ketchup!
Ryley: Punk freak and ketchup. Band name, call it .
Kat: I guess ketchup is the German equivalent of a child being named chowder, but his name is short for Charles.
Ryley: It's like a nickname, right?
Kat: Yeah, it's a nickname for Charles.
Ryley: But I just love ketchup.
Kat: But what is ketchup a nickname for?
Ryley: I don't even know. Uh, the tri tricycle scene at the beginning of the movie is homage to Stanley Kubrick's film adaptation of Stephen King's, the Shining.
Kat: Yeah. I never knew that was a thing for sure. But that makes a lot of sense.
Ryley: It makes sense. I wouldn't, I didn't personally put that together but like I think it makes sense. I get it. Mitchell Musso and Sam Lerner went to see Napoleon Dynamite. When they arrived on set they screamed and jumped on John Heder who played Napoleon Dynamite.
Kat: That's really cute.
Ryley: In the original screenplay DJ and Chowder are harassed by two bullies named Ryan and Cameron who get eaten after DJ purposely lures them to the house as bait. The two characters are were removed from the screenplay because the studio thought their death was far too dark and that the bullies combined with DJ's, cruel [00:09:00] babysitter, babysitter's, boyfriend, and Nebbercracker all made the film seem much more cruel.
Kat: Oh, okay. So they would've been on top of all of that.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Oh.
Ryley: Here's the thing though. They don't, no one dies.
Kat: They didn't, they didn't have to die.
Ryley: They didn't- yeah. Well, no one dies in that movie. They all get up from the house once the house is, and they show that in the credits.
Kat: Yeah, but I guess you, it's a, you think until he comes out, yeah.
Ryley: It's implied because you don't know that till the end. So I, I do understand that.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: There is backstory involving Skull played by John Heder and Bones, played by Jason Lee being in the amateur heavy metal band. When we first meet Z Played by Maggie General Hall. She's wearing a top with Skull and Bones printed on.
Kat: I always noticed that as a kid.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: That she's wearing a shirt that says Skull and Bones, but that's so funny.
Ryley: It is a, it's a band T-shirt, and now I want one.
Kat: Yeah, but, oh, sorry. I just read ahead that quote, I literally wrote that down in my notes.
Ryley: I, yes. Oh, I wrote a few quotes down.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: There are so many quotable things from this movie.
Kat: My dad is at the [00:10:00] pharmacy. My mom's at the movies with her personal trainer.
Ryley: I had to pause the movie and laugh about that one for a minute, like that-
Kat: I- never clicked as a kid.
Ryley: And there's a few things like that in this movie as a kid, and only become more enjoyable as an adult.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: With her personal trainer. Why does he know that?
Kat: I'm imagining like a little bit of a drink, a drinky wine mom, you know?
Ryley: Yep. Mm-hmm.
Kat: Just being like, mommy's gonna go to the movies with a personal trainer. Don't tell dad.
Ryley: I just love it. Oh. But I do have more quotes. Yeah. My dad is at the pharmacy. My mom is at the movies with her personal trainer. That's a, that's a great one.
Kat: So fucking funny. Immediately after that I re, I like rewinded it so I would get the wording right when I put it in my notes.
Ryley: Yeah. Exactly. He also has another one. He's like-
I love chowder.
I paid $28 for that ball. I had to mow 10 lawns and ask my mom for a dollar 26 times. I've never worked that hard in my life. I love that. But yeah, those are some good quotes that I just really like. And then what did you think?
Kat: This was our [00:11:00] car movie growing up.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I love this movie. My favorite movie from childhood is Coraline this is number two. This movie and Corpse Bride are having a fist fight over who is in the number two place.
Ryley: All of them good. And I totally understand.
Kat: I also didn't realize, like, you know, the little girl on the bike, she's like singing a little song.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: That's the song I hum to myself when I'm just doing mundane tasks and I didn't- I didn't realize.
Ryley: That's crazy.
Kat: The like la la, la, la, la, la la, la la la la.
Ryley: That was so funny. Oh my God.
Kat: Gotta gather myself. I've already said a lot of this, but chowder is great. I love chowder.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Um, this is another one of those movies where like, There's not a lot to talk about other than just like quoting it and talking about it. You know?
Ryley: It's one of those movies where you find someone else who equally loves it and you just, you just trade quotes until you run out.
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: And you talk about Bones.
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: And how funny he is.
Kat: Yeah, that was literally in my notes, Jason Lee's [00:12:00] bones in all caps with a question mark. I wrote, I wrote down a quote. It says, bones, you have no respect for women. And he's like, walking he's like, what does that mean?
Ryley: What's that even mean? . My favorite thing is he wear, do he wears Doc Martins in that.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: In that movie. And it's so funny that Doc- Doc Martins were animated for that movie.
Kat: So I, as a kid was like, inspired, influenced by Zee.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And I was like, I wanna look like her. And I got, I basically have her hair cut now.
Ryley: Oh yeah.
Kat: But I dress like bones.
Ryley: You dress like Bones. That's the goal though, I think.
Kat: I have a picture. If I find the tweet that I made, I will post it with like the Instagram post with this movie. But I put a side by side of mean bones and there's not much difference between the two of us.
Ryley: I think that's really mean. I don't think that's true at all. I don't think you look like bones at all.
Kat: I think I look like me, but my hair really was having a bones moment.
Ryley: Okay.
Kat: At the time.
Ryley: Okay, I understand that.
Kat: I think I've shown it to you before and you were like, well.
Ryley: I might've, [00:13:00] but I don't remember. I don't remember.
Kat: Like, I don't think I looked like him in the face.
Ryley: Okay, good.
Kat: We got similar things going on. I looked like him if he washed his face, you know.
Ryley: 1983, Zee and Bones. You're the love child of them.
Kat: Their long lost child.
Ryley: Yeah. There you go.
Kat: And I'm, I'm okay with that.
Ryley: That's perfectly fine.
Kat: But yes, I will find that tweet because I swear like I don't think I look like him. I'm not saying.
Ryley: Okay. Okay.
Kat: But we got, we had a similar thing going on.
Ryley: I understand that. I understand that.
Kat: I had his flow.
Ryley: If you do, yeah, please, please let me know if you find that.
Kat: Yes. And then I put the, the part where it's like skull is in the game zone right now.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: That's me whenever I go to a family function without Noah and my family's like, where's Noah? And I'm like, skull's in the game zone right now. You don't wanna bug- you don't wanna bother him. But I don't have much else to write, like to say other than like, sometimes I'll say this too, where it's like it's a kid's movie like it doesn't have to be that deep. Like if it didn't entertain you as an adult, whatever. But this is just genuinely a good movie [00:14:00] outside of it being a kids' movie. And it makes me look at movies that, you know, in the past have been like, it's just a kids' movie dude, it's like, get over it. Like it's not for you. And be like, well it can be.
Ryley: It really can.
Kat: Can be a genuinely good movie still.
Ryley: Absolutely. And the way it's written, I really do believe that. And also this movie, it's a PG rating, but it pushes the line.
It does.
Kat: It definitely does. If we were boys, I could totally see us being DJ and Chowder.
Ryley: No, that's why I said I relate to Chowder. I feel like-
Kat: My voice cracked when I said that too it was the universe telling me I'm right.
Ryley: I know I was a chowder type. I wasn't like obnoxious like that.
Kat: Cuz you describe your younger self as spazy a lot. So, yeah.
Ryley: Yeah, it makes sense. Like I related, I relate to chowder as a, not as, not as an adult, but like I, I could see myself.
Kat: Your child self.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: Yeah. This movie kind of makes me wish that we met when we were younger.
Ryley: I know.
Kat: We met when we were around their age. We were like 13, 14.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: If we had [00:15:00] grown up together, that would be us. That would be fu- just chaos.
Ryley: No kidding.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: No, exactly. I do. I do- the two main characters are amazing. I do love them.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So much.
Kat: I was annoyed by Jenny as a kid watching this movie. And I still kind of find her annoying.
Ryley: I was about to say, like, I heard the hesitation. I was like, I don't know. She's still kind of, she is a little, um, she's smart.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: But you know how like last week, like someone said, oh, it's smart, but for its own, but.
Kat: It's too clever for its own good.
Ryley: Yeah. That is kind of, that's kind of her. It's like you have fun, a little.
Kat: Yeah. Exhale, babes. Exhale.
Ryley: Yeah. Without her though, they wanna have gone far.
Kat: I wasn't as annoyed as at her as a character now as an adult, but like I just found her annoying as a kid. But I think it's because of that. You just seem like no fun.
Ryley: Yeah. There's a part in the movie where like Chowder's all like, there's a great taco place over by the school. And she's like, I hate [00:16:00] Mexican food. And they're like, oh, I do too. And it's like, that's a, that's a red flag. I'm sorry.
Kat: Yeah. Who hates Mexican food?
Ryley: Racist.
Kat: Yeah. Even outside of that bad taste.
Ryley: Yeah, no kidding. Just like.
Kat: What do you eat? Butter noodles?
Ryley: Yeah, that's the thing. Like what?
Kat: Like I eat butter noodles, but I also eat Mexican food.
Ryley: Yeah wide pallete.
Kat: Yeah. I'm a woman of the world okay.
Ryley: But yeah, I just wanted to throw that out there.
Kat: The only other thing I had written down was. Whenever his mom's like, oh, he's just, he's just going through puberty. He's like, his voice cracks. He's like, I'm serious.
Ryley: I'm serious.
Kat: I'm serious.
Ryley: The mom's freaking out. He's like, I think he has a cold. We gotta stay. And dad's like, no, , we're not. I love the parents. They're only in it for like three minutes and they're the best.
Kat: I think like that's another thing about this movie is the adults are so funny too.
Ryley: The adults are hilarious in this movie. They're so freaking funny. They're driving, they're roll driving outta the back and they hit chowder behind the car and the moms freaking out. She's like, where's DJ? Where's DJ? The [00:17:00] dad's rolling down the window to talk to Chowder, goes you'd be so happy if he was under the car, wouldn't you? Even as a kid, I laughed out loud at that cuz that was so funny.
Kat: Cause you know what that that means? It means the mom's always freaking out about something. So he's like, you just, it seems like at this point you want it to be true.
Ryley: I just love that little analyzation of their little family dynamic and their marriage. I love it. I just love that little, that little tidbit.
Kat: I agree a hundred percent. But now your turn, you go.
Ryley: It's a kids movie with with humor for adults. Not that it's dirty or goes over kids' heads, it's just, it's written the way that everyone can enjoy it. Goofy stuff happens, but it's just like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It's written so well. Any, anyone at any age can be entertained by the comedy.
Kat: I think what a good kids movie does is keeps in mind that parents are also gonna have to go see these movies.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: and to like, be able to blend like a more mature comedy where it's like.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Your kid might be laughing at that joke, but they don't, [00:18:00] they're not laughing for the same reason that you're laughing at it.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Like when you get older and re-watch it, you're like.
Ryley: And you're like, oh,
Kat: Chowder's mom is at the movies with her personal trainer!
Ryley: That shit's hilarious. Like, you don't sit there and think about it. You're like, oh, as a kid, like, haha, that's funny, but you don't know why. And then you grow up, you're like.
Kat: His parents aren't home. Okay.
Ryley: It's very entertaining that way. And not just like the comedy, but like, just like the story itself and also just like the backstory behind constants and Nebbercracker like, and how dark it is really. Like that's the other thing too, is like, it doesn't shy away from like a really tragic, really tragic situation and backstory.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: And also like the concept that they were trapped for 45 years together, and he was protecting those kids all those years, and he was made out to be this horrible villain, but he was saving these kids from her and.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Or saving these kids from, from her, you know, like.
Kat: Yeah. And it's like a, [00:19:00] it's like a mixture of like, you know, you, this person was, is so loving to you.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Are so sweet to you and you can see the good person in them.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Nobody else gets that treatment but you. But also it kind of feels like this allegorical version of like losing the love of your life and being like haunted by them forever.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: and like having to stay in this place because you feel like if you leave, then like you're leaving them behind too.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: It says a lot of things. Okay. I know I read really hard into things, but like that's, that's a really heartwarming, very sweet, that might not even be the main goal, but like thinking about that as a concept now it's like, that means a lot of things.
Ryley: Yeah, yeah. Like literally being haunted by that loved one that, and they never left.
Kat: You could still feel their presence.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Looming around you no matter how the relationship was. And he clearly had such a deep love for her.
Ryley: He did. It was genuine. It really was. It was just, it's very tragic. This, the backstory of this movie is really [00:20:00] tragic.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: I think that's another thing that kind of layers it on as a more, at least to me, a more serious movie in that way, or just like, it just adds weight to it, you know, like.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: This movie just isn't like slapstick, comedy, horror kids movie. Like no, this.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It has story, it has heart.
Kat: Yeah. And it's like, not in the way, cuz like when movies get serious and you're watching them as a kid, sometimes that makes you wanna like, check out from it.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: But the way that they do this, it's like, it, it perfectly blends into explaining everything that's going on.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: In a way that's not blaming anybody involved.
Ryley: No.
Kat: And I think that's like really, really nice way to explain why this terrible thing is happening. Nobody involved was really at fault here. It was just the circumstance.
Ryley: It really was. Cuz like, she, she wasn't, she wasn't a bad person, but she was tormented by people. And it's really sad that in the end, like that's, you know, That torment is kind of what killed her in a way. Like it, it was a horrible accident, but it, I don't know. It made me.[00:21:00]
Kat: No, no. I think i, I think I get what you, you're saying.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like she's lit, like literally in the movie, cemented into the torment and the way that people treat her.
Ryley: Mm-hmm. That rage.
Kat: Figuratively, she is like, you know, that means like she's always going to see other people as a threat to her because she was treated so horribly and she's forever stuck in this defensive place.
Ryley: And understandably.
Kat: Yeah. And the only person who sees her as a person is her husband.
Ryley: Who loves her.
Kat: The house is so much more enraged when he's not there too, because, This is the one person and he was gone and she doesn't know what happened to him. I get it. I understand her.
Ryley: It's really sad. Like the more we're talking about, the more sad I'm getting like I'm getting like-
Kat: It's good, though.
Ryley: Cause it's like bummed out now. But it's a great movie. This movie I'm so glad the comedy kind of really balances like this. Yeah. Cause the more we talk about, the more sad I'm getting.
Kat: Yeah. I would've checked out mentally as a kid from this movie if it didn't the comedy and the [00:22:00] lighthearted air to it.
Ryley: Yes. To go back to something more lighthearted, I just gonna share one more quote.
Kat: Sorry. I apologize for taking it to there.
Ryley: No, no. I'm so glad we got, we got to talk about that cuz like that was always something that really interests me about this movie.
Kat: You know what Kid M- Kids movie message ties into? People are not always what they seem. And you don't have to be what everyone labels you as.
Ryley: True.
Kat: Be true to yourself, this movie's just like Iron Giant. Oh my gosh. Unoriginal.
Ryley: They both blow up at the end.
Kat: True, true.
Ryley: Uh, I love all the characters. I don't think there's a character I don't like in this movie. I even love Jenny. Jenny, you know?
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I still love Jenny. I think she's very important to this movie.
Kat: Oh, very, very.
Ryley: Yeah. I love Zee.
Kat: In a roundabout way they all are great. You know?
Ryley: They are. Um, there's one quote I do wanna share cuz it just made me crack up. Chowder, he's running away from the house and the house grabs him by [00:23:00] the cape and starts lifting him up. And then he goes, I'm flying. And it starts choking starts and I'm sorry, like the chokey noises killed me. He's like, I'm flying- and it just killed me. I'm sorry.
Kat: I love it. I love it. I love how like almost every quote that you pulled is chowder.
Ryley: He has the best lines in all movie.
Kat: He's, he's hilarious. He's hilarious.
Ryley: Other characters do too. They mostly do like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: But I think that's all I wanna say. Do you wanna move on to critic reviews?
Kat: Yeah, I think that's, yeah.
Ryley: I'm sure there'll be other things. We'll, that will be brought up.
Kat: Oh, definitely.
Ryley: I wanted to say raw tomatoes. So it had a 75% from critics and 64% from audience members. Not bad generally for movies, but I think that's severely underrated for how, how I, how I think this movie, like I think this movie's so good.
Kat: Worse movies have had higher.
Ryley: I know that's the thing, and I really don't understand it. It's so low. Like it didn't get anything wrong, but like it deserved higher. It [00:24:00] deserved way higher.
Kat: 75- 75%. Really?
Ryley: Mm-hmm. So we're gonna read the first one, you know, written in 2006. It's a movie review by James Berardinelli. And they say, "Monster House is, to the best of my knowledge, the first animated haunted house movie, quite possibly the first family film to recall at various times Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street and the Amityville Horror. Parents, don't worry, the references are benign. It's part story and part spectacle," with- "with the two halves being nicely balanced to offer something for just about everyone. The film pays enough attention to character development for us to care about the protagonist, although it uses stereotypes as a shortcut, and there's a substantial amount of humor. While Monster House is in no way groundbreaking, it's an enjoyable way to spend 90 minutes, and it's suitable for all but the youngest children, for whom some of the scariest sequences may be too intense. There's enough action and mildly scary stuff to keep restless viewers involved, but the thing I appreciated the most was the [00:25:00] way in which the three friends interact. Their dialogue rings true. The two boys, both on the verge of puberty, do silly things to impress Jenny. She recognizes what's happening and uses it to her advantage. Most movies, regardless of whether their live action or animated, aren't this perceptive. It's a credit to first time director, Gil Kenan and his screenwriters that they invest the time and effort to get this right. Visually, it cannot be argued that the film offers anything new to conventional theater viewers. What impressed me about Monster House's animation is not so much how the characters look, they're a little doll like, but how naturally their motions are rendered. Consider a throwaway scene early in the film when DJ and Chowder are shooting hoops. The way they dribble and shoot the ball is so fluid and effortless that it's difficult to accept. It's not live action." They end by saying that the movie will be in theaters and will show in 3-D but says the movie's so enter entertaining enough that it doesn't need to be 3D to enjoy it.
Kat: Yeah. It's like when we went back and watched Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: and it was literally just all about how it was 3D.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Think about movies [00:26:00] like Shark Boy and Lava Girl. You go back and watch them and you see all of the purposeful 3D gimmicks. You watch this movie you like, yeah the tongue coming outta the house and like-
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: It still hits the same whether or not it's in 3D.
Ryley: I didn't even realize it. Like I would have not, like those two movies you just said, like they're so obvious and so dated in that way. But in this one I didn't even notice. Like it's perfectly fine.
Kat: This was like the beginning of like every single kid's movie also screening in 3D.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: So maybe that was kind of part of it where I was like, yeah, we'll, we'll make, we'll make it also screen in 3D, but watching it regular is fine too. Like it, it was probably more of a money making tactic than anything. But yeah, so I I appreciate that it does not look like it was ever in 3D.
Ryley: Exactly. Cuz like those movies that do are so dated.
Kat: Mm-hmm, you can see every gimmick.
Ryley: It's so distracting.
Kat: Shark Boy and Lava Girl is one that I want to do in the future though, cuz.
Ryley: Oh, those are fun. Send him to other principal's office at once.
Kat: Well, Taylor Lautner's little karate [00:27:00] dance musical number. Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream. Like, I fucking love that.
Ryley: I forget he's in that movie every time and then I'm reminded.
Kat: It's his best acting role. He, he went downhill with twilight. Not that twilight isn't great. Check back on our episodes.
Ryley: Yeah, no kidding.
Kat: It's just him that's awful.
Ryley: We worked so hard on those. Please go watch them.
Kat: Please do. We want, we watched every single one. Okay. Please listen to us.
Ryley: We spent so much time on those, we spent so much time on them.
Kat: I need to not have the alien booby documentary have the most streams out of all of our episodes.
Ryley: I can't believe that, that's hilarious.
Kat: Come on people.
Ryley: Come on.
Kat: Back to this though.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I like that he pointed out that the characters look doll-like cuz I, that's something I really didn't pick up on, but they do, they look like dolls, like they look in the way that they're like built. I guess.
Ryley: Just to warn you, so many people hate how this movie looks, nowadays.
Kat: I understand.
Ryley: I understand. It's dated. [00:28:00] It is. I'm not gonna say it isn't. I don't have a huge problem with it though. I don't think it's horrible to watch.
Kat: And you love animation.
Ryley: I do. And I'm willing to admit like, yeah, it's dated. It doesn't look awesome. I don't think it's terrible though. And I still think, I think it's part of the times, like, you know, like this is the era. 2006, early two thousands. This is what it looked like. And I think that's fine. It's like when you're watching an eighties horror movie. Yeah, the graphics usually the graphics look awful.
Kat: Exactly.
Ryley: It's fake bloods. Fake guts. Yeah. It is what it is though. And you still love it for it. You love the aesthetic because that's what it, that's what it was back then. You know, you can laugh at it now.
Kat: This was like the era of like motion captured 3D movies for children.
Ryley: Yep.
Kat: Think of nightmare- night before Christmas with like Jim Carey that was all motion capture shit and it was like-
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Yeah. Eventually they realized, okay, maybe we just shoot a live action movie.
Ryley: Yeah. Exactly.
Kat: And like, just shit like that where it's like [00:29:00] this was, they were figuring it out. Okay. We know now that it looks bad, but this movie doesn't look so bad that it's impossible to watch. And I feel like there's gonna be some people who feel that way.
Ryley: Oh, there are. I had to read their reviews about it.
Um, I still find this movie insanely entertaining and I think the animation to it adds to it. I think it adds to the comedy at some points. And I, you know, I don't think, um, I don't think the animation necessarily takes anything away from this. This movie is what it is and I, and I love it for it, you know?
Kat: Yeah. I think I, I've also realized something about myself when it comes to animation quality.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I don't, I don't know the difference.
Ryley: I'll accept almost anything like if it's good, if it's written well, if it's. And the story flows. I'll, I'll, I'll bear with whatever they have.
Kat: The only thing I won't accept from a movie, if like, the story's great, everything's great.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: The only thing that will keep me from watching it is the audio quality. And like yeah, I know, don't start with me with the audio quality on [00:30:00] this podcast. Okay. Fuck off. I am not a professional editor. But like in a movie with people who are being paid to edit, if the sound is off, it's not, it's like that is the one thing that will make me go, no.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I'm done watching this movie. But animation, I don't know if it's just, I don't know enough about it to know what, like would be wrong with it, I guess is what I'm saying, cause that's happened with Ferngully.
Ryley: I'm not saying I do either, but.
Kat: You know more you. Between the two of us.
Ryley: I know a little bit more. I think I'm just more picky visually, but I don't know. I just, you know, like if an animated movie is entertaining enough, I'll accept anything. I will, I will.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: but I will appreciate a good animated movie, like the flow of animation and stuff like that. It's just like aesthetic, just a visual aesthetic thing of like, Is it how well the animation is. So I'm not an expert by all means, but like I do appreciate a good animated movie.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Now that we are talking about, there's a few things that did, like I did see, I was like that it aged quite well. That wasn't, you know, but like, I still love this [00:31:00] movie. I do not, I do not care. I still love this movie and I will watch it any time.
Kat: It's not enough to make you- Yeah.
Ryley: No, no. I love, I think, I think everything outweighs everything else about that, so. And I'm, I'm fine with someone not liking animation. I'm fine with that. I totally get that. That's fine. It doesn't matter to me though.
Kat: It's just, I don't know shit about dick, so I'm just over here.
Ryley: This next one is, "Monster House is built just for kids," by Ty Burr from Globe Staff. Was written in 2006. He took his family to go see it. "Monster House, a new computer generated family film about possessed mansion is like one of those gross out children's novelty books, the ones with googly eyes and attracts a certain kind of kid. Personal anecdote, I took the family to the screening, and when the lights came up my wife was shaking her aching head in dismay, the 11 year old was opining that she found 'Howl's Moving Castle,' a much more elegant treatment of similar material, and the nine year old, she sat there grinning in low down rapture."
Kat: Um, don't bring Howl's [00:32:00] Moving Castle into this.
Ryley: I feel like those are- what do those movies have anything similar other than-
Kat: A walking house.
Ryley: Other than that, like how can you compare two very different movies other than just superficial one thing to compare it to? I feel, I find that so annoying.
Kat: An 11 year old did say it, so, you know, cut them some slack. But this kind of feels like a, yeah, my 11 year old totally said that. It wasn't just me making a, a clever point in my review.
Ryley: And that's what I'm trying to say. He still wrote it, he still wrote it down. He still think it's a valid-
Kat: You included it.
Ryley: Point, and I don't. But Howl's Moving Castle is a great movie. But to compare it to this one?
Kat: I love that movie.
Ryley: It's, I it is, it's just kind of why would you do that?
Kat: It just has a house that moves around. That is the only thing that's similar between these two.
Ryley: Yeah. No kidding. "And the nine year old, she sat there grinning in low down rapture. There's your demographic sweet spot, monster House is the first horror comedy made exclusively for fourth graders."
Kat: And what?
Ryley: Is that?
Kat: And what? And what, bitch? And what?
Ryley: Is that a [00:33:00] bad thing? I'm sorry.
Kat: Someone successfully made a horror movie for children.
Ryley: Is- I'm sorry, a PG rated horror film for children and you're mad that it hit the demographic it was aiming for? I was like, why are you mad about that?
Kat: My sister was like, uh, let's see, if I was seven, that means she was, 10.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: She liked it. She was a fifth grader.
Ryley: There you go.
Kat: God damn.
Ryley: We're already at a 10. "It takes place in one of those suspiciously underpopulated movie suburbs lighted with the hard clarity of digital animation. Earnest young DJ is obsessed with the decaying manse across the street, owned by cranky old Mr. Nebbercracker, and alive in some witchy way. Why don't these adults notice? Because movies like this demand grown ups be clueless or nasty."
Kat: Cause that's- okay.
Ryley: That's a lot of tropes in kids movies, but that's also, it's like to relate to children. Like, yeah, adults sometimes don't pay attention enough.
Kat: Do you think if your, [00:34:00] your dumb ass kids came up to you and were like, the house across the street ate my bike, you would believe them?
Ryley: The nine year old's onto it. But that's the thing. Like adults who get mad at children's movies who portray or who- who portray adults as-
Kat: Clueless?
Ryley: Clueless or nasty, Dude, look in the mirror cuz like you might, you might be mad at the wrong thing.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Cause that is not a reason to be mad at a movie like that is perfectly fine. Like that's a trope. It's a way to, to show kids like, hey, yeah, kid- adults can sometimes be clueless, you know, like.
Kat: On a different end. Like even if the parent like is like, okay, that is kind of weird. I'm, I will look into this. But to their kid, they're still gonna be like, okay, it's fine. Nothing's wrong.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Nothing's wrong. No parent is gonna be like, yeah, we need to, we need to move now, , we'll go buy you a new bike. We'll move somewhere out. Like, no, they're gonna be like, okay, well don't worry. Just don't go in front of that house anymore.
Ryley: I'm sorry. How do you want the movie to play out if the parents know the house eats people, like, what do you want to happen in the movie, if adults know that?
Kat: The [00:35:00] HOA board would've been all over that already.
Ryley: No kidding.
Kat: Sorry, your house's rug tongue is against regulations and it needs to stay inside.
Ryley: I'll continue. "Monster House is from the people who gave us the Polar Express. Where Polar tried to create photo realistic humans and wound up with souless zombies, though this one stays sensibly on the cartoon side of the ledger. DJ and his pals have appealingly oversized heads and pipe stem bodies. It's as though the sims had turned out en masse for the addition, the one remaining creepy touch, no eyelashes." Which is something I didn't notice in the movie until this person actually did say it.
Kat: And I don't really care. I don't think- most cartoons don't have, don't have eyelashes.
Ryley: I didn't notice it until they said it, and now that I know it, I'm probably gonna notice it from now on. But it's like I didn't notice it until they just said it.
Kat: It would look weird if they had eyelashes, in my opinion.
Ryley: It'd be distracting, especially with what they were using back then. It was probably best that they didn't. "The movie goes bananas When the kids finally get in the house [00:36:00] and there are enough zooming camera shots and things flying at the audience that you know, monster House will be playing in 3D somewhere. The mansion has a personality as well as parts that correspond to a human body. The chandelier over the staircase, it turns out, is a uvula. 'So it's a girl house,' marvels Chowder."
Kat: That was the most quoted line by kids our age when this movie came out.
Ryley: Oh yeah. That was the line of the movie.
Kat: It's like how we all learned the word aglet from Phineas and Ferb . We all learned what a uvula was from Monster House.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And it means it's a girl house.
Ryley: It means it's a girl house. 'No, everyone has a uvula.' 'Not me.' "Even at 87 minutes, monster House overstays its welcome. Just a sort of fun house ride to thrill a kid while mom and dad reach for the noise canceling headphones. Is it too scary? Not really. Like an E 10 plus video game, the film's crude jokes don't stick. If you're wondering what business a Halloween movie has being released in the middle of July, by the way, rest assured the DVD will be inescapable come October. Home-video tail is no longer wagging the [00:37:00] dog, it is the dog. For its own part, the movie's a big rambunctious mutt fine for a play date, but think twice before letting it into your own house."
Kat: This seems like the kind of person who like would be like, no, I'm not buying you children's books. I'll read you, Jane Eyre before bed.
Ryley: Yeah. It is like one of those things where like, parents will take their kids to a children's movie cuz it's a children's movie and their kids really wanna see it and then complain about how awful it was at on the ride home. So the kids like, I guess it was bad then, you know?
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: They suck all the fun out of it.
Kat: Yeah. Just one last thing.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: This is just further proving my point that adults don't need to be writing movie reviews about kids movies.
Ryley: They really don't.
Kat: Especially if their whole review is just them saying, this is definitely for kids. It's rated pg. Who did you think it was for?
Ryley: Exactly. What children's movie do you like? I actually do wanna know that. What would you rate as a good children's movie?
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: We'll move on to the next one. This was written from the Washington Post, 2006, "Monster House, who's it good for?" "Way too [00:38:00] scary for anyone younger than 10, but somehow too childish to appeal to tweens, Monster House falls into a," middle, "middle even mushier, albeit less hellacious, than that of the titular house itself."
Kat: What children are they talking to?
Ryley: I don't know.
Kat: Where are they collecting this data?
Ryley: Because literally I was like younger than 10 when I saw this, and I am I'm 24 now and I still love this movie.
Kat: I've watched it so many different ages.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Where is this like general assuming coming from that like, 'oh, well when I was 10 maybe I'd be scared by it.' Shut up.
Ryley: Yeah. Honestly, I was like, ooh, you know, covering my eyes a little bit cuz I'm like a kid. But I still appreciated the movie. I still liked the movie.
Kat: It didn't give me nightmares.
Ryley: No, it didn't gimme nightmares and I wanted to watch it. When it was available to watch, you know.
Kat: Coraline literally gave me nightmares and it's my favorite movie.
Ryley: Yeah, exactly. Cause we appreciate horror. We were young appreciators of horror films way before, you know, way before we should have been. But that's good.
Kat: This is literally horror at its simplest form.
Ryley: Exactly. [00:39:00] I guess it just really depends on your kid, I think at the end of the day, if they can handle it or not.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: "Monster House is a grisly, often cynical piece of work whose joyless, aggressive spirit is made even less appealing by its soulless visual style. On the eve of Halloween, DJ and two friends set out to solve the mystery of the house. What unfolds is by turns, tiresome and terrifying, as the house comes to creepy life and its backstory, gothic to the point of grotesqueness, is revealed. Despite its obvious nods to Robert Zemeckis and Tim Burton and some notable cameo appearances, Monster House is an eyesore."
Kat: Who do you think Tim Burton makes movies for?
Ryley: Exactly. Exactly. The next critic review, the Massie twins. Gone with The twins.com is where you can find this review. It's by Mike Massie. He gave it a six Outta 10. "The trio of heroes is well voiced and interesting to watch, especially thanks to the whimsical prepubescent love triangle coyly rooted into the scenario. A notably outstanding job on Chowder's part makes for some hilarious and [00:40:00] realistic physical comedy while supporting characters such as Skull, a Video Game Guru and pizza delivery guy sure to know how to destroy the ominous building add to a few scenes of laugh out loud hilarity. And the anthropomorphized monster house itself is portrayed frighteningly and magnificently, personifying human kinesics without ever uttering a word. The plot is unique but plays out strongly only at the beginning. Toward the conclusion, it begins to falter and shift into something far more macabre than its family friendly tone can support. Fortunately, the script is well written, and contains enough tactful humor that accompanying parents won't tire easily. Visually, the film is stunning with its dark and moody haunted house atmosphere perfectly contrasting the bright shining outdoor neighborhood street. The character modeling isn't bad, though not particularly innovative, while the animation itself is first rate. Since animating human characters is easily the most difficult task, it comes as a refreshing relief from the horde of recent woodland animal CG films that monster house [00:41:00] attempts something a bit more daring. Although not perfect, the technical defects are permissible, offering up enough uncanny realistic mannerisms, especially in chowder, to make up its faults. Detailed eye-catching textures also increase the photorealism of the animated environment. And with its PG rating, it just might be a bit too startling for the very young, especially with the typical, immature scare tactics generously employed throughout."
Kat: I understand some seven year olds were pussies, but like-
Ryley: I wasn't.
Kat: I wasn't.
Ryley: And like, I don't wanna underestimate, like this movie. Like there are-
Kat: I get it.
Ryley: There are scenes that I get. I totally-
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I do understand. I think it's when parents are like a 10 year old. Anything younger than 10 couldn't.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It's PG, parental guidance, use your best judgment.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: They actually, gen genuinely like this movie.
Kat: And can say why.
Ryley: They think it's funny, they think it's, they really like the animation. They're like really into that, which is surprising.
Kat: I like that they note [00:42:00] that it's not like perfect-
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: Too, at the same time.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: It's like you could still enjoy what it's doing.
Ryley: Mm-hmm. I, I, I agree with the majority what they said in that review.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Alright, let's go on to the audience reviews. This is a 10 out of 10 from IMDB. It's called, "a Halloween favorite of mine." It was written in 2021. Whenever- and I, this is the first one I saw. I was like, oh, I thought of you, Kat. So, "whenever there was a road trip, I had the same three DVDs to choose from to watch on the portable DVD player."
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Monster House was one of them, so the nostalgia factor is pretty significant for me. Since then, I've made it a tradition to watch it every halloween. After all this time, I still see it as a classic to watch every spooky season." I wanna know what the other two were. Just to gauge.
Kat: I'll tell you mine.
Ryley: Yeah. Yeah.
Kat: So it was Monster House, lion King one and a half and Aquamarine.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: Sometimes over the hedge, I think snuck its way in there.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Those were the three that were always in the car.
Ryley: I love that. "What stands out to me the most are the characters and the comedy. Hate to admit I see a lot of myself in Chowder, but I do. [00:43:00] The main and side characters work really well together to bring the hilarious bickering that is the dialogue. It's my kind of humor and I unapologetically quote the movie time to time. The animation is very unique. The art style goes a long way, but the motion capture solidifies the original look to the overall animation. When the movie was made, mocap was still on the rise, just being implemented in video games and what would be hit film Polar Express. The voice acting was great, and I'm sure all the actors had a blast making the movie. The fun musical score pairs with the overall story nicely. The great tale of the monster house seems like an exaggerated version of a folk tale you would tell at a campfire. The design of the actual monster house is very cool, and the concept is equally interesting, and I believe this story takes place in the eighties and for some reason horror and 80's just works well together as we've seen a million times. Overall, a solid movie choice for any Halloween movie party." Love it. That- just perfect- perfect 10 star review.
Kat: This seems like a mix of us.
Ryley: It does. I hate to admit it. I see a lot of myself [00:44:00] in chowder, but I do, it was very relatable.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: This is a two out 10. There were hardly any one out of 10 and hardly any two outta 10, so I got what I could.
Kat: Yeah, that's how you know it's good.
Ryley: Yeah. Yeah. Two out 10, "Badly executed scenes of tired cliches." It was written in 2006. "Typical of the level of this movie is the uvula gag, literally. The visuals make you think this is going to be something cool and important, but," what- "what develops is one dumb joke and the weak, gross basis of an escape. The whole plot feels strained and unbalanced. There's just not a lot of fun in watching it. To anyone posting a good rating, who's paying you? How many lines does it take to say that I didn't like the movie? Before seeing it, I read one review that claimed there was an interesting story behind the horror. After seeing the movie, I have to disagree. The backstory thin. The flashback animations are not up to the same standard as the rest of the movie, which makes you think they were slapped in after the fact. I'm giving it a two out of 10 just to save one rating for a movie that actually does damage when you see it." [00:45:00] Okay. Kind of like the Citizen King concept.
Kat: Yeah. It's kind the opposite of the-
Ryley: Opposite rating like, I'm saving it for a really bad one.
Kat: The uvula gag was the funniest joke you could tell in third grade. Okay. Fuck off.
Ryley: It really was. You had to be there.
Kat: You had to be there. It sounds like you were too old to be there.
Ryley: Yeah. Again, it sounded like someone who even doesn't even sound like they have kids, went to go see it and just didn't get it and like, okay, dude wasn't for you.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: This is two and a half stars. "Who the fuck thought the cement scene was appropriate for a children's movie?" Honestly, if there's a scene in the movie that the parents really gonna be like, holy shit, that's the scene, where he falls on her and exposes all the skeleton. That is a freaky scene.
Kat: Yeah, that's a little gruesome.
Ryley: It's freaky. It's freaky. I do agree, like if there's one scene or do remember that movie that if I had to say is a little much, it might be that scene.
Kat: Yeah, I could- I could see that, I guess.
Ryley: But this is three and a half stars on letterboxd, and it says, "by far the scariest and most intense PG [00:46:00] rated film I've seen. Well Other than," Cat and- "the Cat and the hat of course."
Kat: That scared me more than this movie.
Ryley: That movie was the final straw for Dr. Suess' Wife to like claim like, no more live action Dr. Suess movies. Like that was the final straw.
Kat: It's a good movie though.
Ryley: It's not. I've seen it recently. It's so bizarre. You can't take your eyes off, you know?
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It's not good, but it, you're gonna leave it on just because you're like, what is this?
Kat: We watched that movie so much that we scratched the dvd.
Ryley: Oh my God.
Kat: This was like not a, not a car movie, but like a, this is our go-to in the DVD case, like.
Ryley: That's unhinged. I think that is.
Kat: Why do you think I'm like this?
Ryley: The next one is two outta 10 stars from IMDB. "This movie was a monster to watch" written in 2006. "Horrible, never ending and boring. The only redeeming part of this film was when it ended, and we could lead the theater. Also, inappropriate for children containing abuse of [00:47:00] alcohol, stealing drugs from a pharmacy, cop killing, making fun of an obese woman, and much, much more. The kids in the audience liked it, but we couldn't wait for it to end. Save your money, this is not worth seeing. We've come to expect much better from dreamworks and spielberg. The animation was crude, the storyline dull and predictable, and the content was not appropriate for children to whom this film is aimed. Jokes were not funny, action scenes were dull, and watching this took two hours of my life that I will never get back. As my friend stated, this is no Shrek." It's not two hours, it's an hour and a half. You're rounding up. So don't do that.
Kat: People need to stop doing that. That 30 minutes really makes a difference.
Ryley: Yeah, it does.
Kat: The only thing I can't excuse is the stealing the cough medicine from the pharmacy part. But the, all of the other things they mentioned are framed in a bad way. Like they're framed as not the thing to do.
Ryley: And I'm sorry, you're really pushing cop killing. You're, you're making it sound like the kids kill the cops. You make it sound like that.
Kat: And abuse of alcohol. They're pushing that a little hard too.
Ryley: Yeah, there's a character, Bones [00:48:00] drinking alcohol and throws a bottle. That's it.
Kat: And he's not a good car- he's not portrayed as a good person by the movie.
Ryley: Exactly. And like I, I'm sorry, I don't think a young kid's gonna really grasp that, that's alcohol. And he's consuming it and he's abusing it. I don't think a young kid's gonna get that.
Kat: What they'll get is that's a bad, that's a bad guy.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: So what he's doing is bad. That's what- that- It's covered, bitch. It's covered.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: There's also a bunch of inappropriate shit in Shrek.
Ryley: No kidding. If you wanna talk about inappropriate stuff, talk about Shrek. There's a lot of inappropriate stuff in Shrek. Great movie. Love it.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: But it's- yeah, there is, it's Dreamworks. In my opinion, I don't think they make fun of Constance's character.
Kat: They frame making fun of her as a bad thing.
Ryley: Exactly. Like they frame her as a person who was not wanting to be in that circus that she was in, her husband rescuing her, her husband loving her, her being tormented by people, making fun of her.
Kat: [00:49:00] Mm-hmm.
Ryley: It's a tragic thing. I don't think the movie was. Fun of her though.
Kat: What it tells me is that we as a society often dehumanize.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: people who are fat.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: That's what it's telling me. And I don't think a kid's gonna go out and start making fun of fat people because of watching this movie.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I think they're gonna see that it could have a bad effect.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Cause they're people, that's what the movie's trying to tell you is that they're people.
Ryley: Exactly. So I just feel like that's also just a, just something they kind of made up about the movie.
Kat: Yeah. They had to have pulled a muscle from how much they're reaching for this.
Ryley: That's what I was thinking, pulling a muscle that's a great way to describe it. Three and a half Stars. It says, "holy shit, why is this movie so good? Admittedly the animation is ugly and way too weird. But the characters are really funny and likable, the story's actually pretty engaging, I had no idea where it was going and how to blast throughout, the jokes were all hysterical and the emotional stuff with Nebbercracker was kind of solid? How the fuck did this lose to happy feet? [00:50:00] And man, was this freaking terrifying at times, if I had seen this as a kid I would've absolutely been traumatized for life. Glad I finally watched it, it was funny and charming, and yeah, the animation sucks ass but I'll be watching this every Halloween forever now." I get it. That's perfectly fine. Perfectly valid. I love that they watched it, not as a kid, but as an adult, and they're like, this is a good movie.
Kat: Yeah. They get it.
Ryley: They get it.
Kat: It is from 2021. A lot of those negative ones are from 2006.
Ryley: Exactly. And they're mostly from adults from then and parents.
Kat: Yeah. Did it lose the Oscar for animation or something?
Ryley: I don't.
Kat: I'm gonna look that up. It did lose the Oscar to happy Feet.
Ryley: Monster House?
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Wow.
Kat: It was between Happy Feet, Cars, and Monster House.
Ryley: That's disappointing. So it could have gotten one. Mm.
Kat: Happy Feet is a good movie though.
Ryley: It's cute and it does have a good message.
Kat: And it's heartwarming.
Ryley: It's heartwarming. Also calls out humans for taking up the fish.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Has a good ending.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Has a hopeful ending, at least. I get it.
Kat: [00:51:00] I understand.
Ryley: I get it. But whatever.This next one's five stars from letterboxd. It says, "me, if I lived in a house that was actually my dead wife." True.
Kat: So true.
Ryley: So true. This one's five stars from letterboxd. Says, "house attacking three wee kids and peepaw while the whole neighborhood goes, snore mimimimi." or- snore mimimimi. I picked this one just so I can make those noises.
Kat: Yeah. Did nobody hear this shit? Did everybody drink cold medicine that night?
Ryley: Yeah. No kidding. The cop did.
Kat: Yeah, then he got eated.
Ryley: Then he got eated. Three and a half stars from letterboxd, "I'm 1000% percent sure that we are never going to get another film like this again, and that is one of the biggest crimes humanity could commit." Reading that trivia fact from like saying like, this was the, like for, forgot what it's called.
Kat: It the only motion capture original screenplay that wasn't based on [00:52:00] anything.
Ryley: Exactly. Like just knowing that fact is, is sad.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: And the fact that it's a children's movie with this kind of comedy mixed in with also that level of seriousness.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: Yeah. It, this is, this is really, uh, you know, like a gem, you know, it really is like, we're probably not gonna get too much of these.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: You know, we're not gonna be overwhelmed by them, so we, we might as well cherish it. Well, you know, that we have it, you know.
Kat: And I think also you could say that we won't know. We might not know that there's something like this that's as good because we aren't the ones that are going to see it. It'll be kids down the line.
Ryley: Exactly. So this next one's a one out of 10 from IMDB. It's, "the first five minutes convinced me to leave, should be PG 13," written in 2006. "This movie is being billed as a fun, funny, and family movie. I took my five, six, and seven year old to see it, two boys and one girl. In the first five minutes we saw a curmudgeon yell and scare little girl and tear her tricycle apart. Then we see the neighbor boy [00:53:00] lifted by his lapels into the air and screamed at just before said curmudgeon has a heart attack and dies. Then we see the boys babysitter show up who is a crude, rude drinking and acid rock goth type babe." So you think she's a babe?
Kat: Oh, so you think I'm hot?
Ryley: "Then we see the shadow of the monster house flowing through the boy's window and emit a large claw hand that then grab him. My little girl was jumping and crying. Although boys protested, we all left. Fortunately, the theater manager said he had received a lot of complaints and allowed us to see Garfield Tale of two kitties instead. Make no mistake, the movie is very good for teenagers. It uses all the standard scare technique of a slasher movie, so it's much too intense for younger viewers. That is the music, sound and color are all well done to set the mood of fear and surprise, but younger children just can't handle such a psychological manipulation. After 90 minutes of Garfield, my little girl was much happier, but I'm still sorry for having to put her through all that. This movie should be rated PG 13 to warn parents that little kids should stay away. I'm rating this as [00:54:00] awful for hopes a parent will see the review and be forewarned. For older kids, this is probably a very good movie for its type."
Kat: I just wanna hear a review of this movie by these children.
Ryley: I do too. I wanna hear. I when I picked this one five is pretty young. For this movie specifically, I can understand why a five year old would be too scared. I understand.
Kat: I feel like seven's a good place.
Ryley: Six and seven if the- that's a good age. Five is pretty young, and I understand this parent knows, if they were noticing their child not liking the movie, I totally understand why you would want to leave and.
Kat: Yeah, but my thing here is saying it's good for teenagers, but also your six and seven year old were perfectly fine.
Ryley: That's the thing like you can't say it's for teenagers if your other two kids were liking it.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Just because one of your kids didn't like it doesn't mean it's inappropriate for anyone younger than a teenager. That's a reach, that's a, I mean, come on.
Kat: Yeah, it's a hefty reach.
Ryley: It's just one of those things where like can't- as a parent, you kind of have to be like, can my [00:55:00] kid handle this? We'll see.
Kat: You should just come back, come back with just the six and seven year old and see it and let them watch it.
Ryley: I just love how they described Z as the acid rock off Babe. So you think she's Babe. And I love that they went to Garfield tail of two kitties.
Kat: I can't with that.
Ryley: I know. This next one's three and a half stars from letterboxd. It says, "my first animation in over a month, which is a massive stretch for me, so it was refreshing, even if the 2006 3D character's faces were all a bit fucked up. Other aspects looked great though, and there were some cool shots like the face off of the opening scene, the shadow in DJ's room, and the cement falling. There was depth to the story, some outrageous lines and an undeniable horror M.O. make for a memorable halloween Classic."
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: "This movie taught nine year old me what a uvula is." And I include this one, four and a half stars on letterboxd. That says, "this was my Coraline."
Kat: So this was my Coraline until Coraline came out.
Ryley: Exactly, exactly.
Kat: [00:56:00] It was Corpse Bride and then it was cor- it was this movie and then it was Coraline. That's why those are my top three. That makes so much.
Ryley: Yeah, it does actually. They just came out and they just got better.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: This is our last review. It's a, 10 out of 10 a film that transcends human con-. Whoa.
Kat: Whoa.
Ryley: This is- it's titled "A film that transcends human concepts, equality, and becomes a religious experience," it's written in 2018. "Monster House is simply put, not a film, rather an experience that we-," were that, "mere morals were not deserving of witnessing. Ever since I saw this film, my life has been changed forever, my heart beats the," sweat sounds, "the sweet sounds of Monster House, my blood pump's monster house and I am monster house. No further written review is needed, for all you need to know is that watching this film," ascen-, "ascends you to a higher plane of existence and is," necess, "necessary you follow me to Eden." This is me walking outta the theater after seeing it.
Kat: Yes, but this also sounds like they're about to start like the-
Ryley: A cult?
Kat: The Church of the Monster House, like. [00:57:00] That is hilarious. They're saying that things we're too scared to say.
Ryley: Exactly. Yeah. I love that one. I think that was a good a good final positive finish for this-
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Movie review. So if you had to give it a rating, what would you rate it?
Kat: Hmm. Hmm. I think I have to give this a nine outta 10.
Ryley: I was thinking the same thing cuz I don't wanna give it an eight outta 10. I think it deserves a nine outta 10.
Kat: Like for me personally, this movie hits every time.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And it just, it, it's in, it's genuinely, this is not the place for it to be this, but it is indescribable. And I'm sure I've described it in this podcast episode.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: It just is good. And if you don't, if you don't see it as that, then I can't convince you that it is, honestly.
Ryley: Honestly. Yeah. You have to watch it and like it for yourself in order, like you just do. Like there's no, you either get it, we say this every podcast, you either get it or you don't.
Kat: You know, if you like movies like Coraline or Corpse Bride or you like horror [00:58:00] made specifically for a child audience.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: This is genuinely one of the best of that.
Ryley: No kidding. Yeah. I think that's it like I have nothing more to say.
Kat: Me neither. If you want to give us feedback, movie suggestions, or if you have a valid reason for hating this movie, you know, DM us on Instagram at Easy Bake Takes. We also sometimes post clips of our podcast at Easy Bake takes. We also have a letterboxed account now if you are interested in following us, we put just general like review over- overviews of each movie that we've done on there. And those same overviews are also on our website with the transcripts, which is easy bake takes podcast.com. The letterboxd is Easy Bake takes podcast. And don't forget to rate and follow. And thank you so much for listening. My name's Kat
Ryley: and I'm Ryley.
Kat: This has been easy bake takes. Easy watching out there.
Ryley: Bye
Kat: bye.