The Crappening (The Happening Review)
Kat and Ryley watch Ryley's guilty pleasure movie: M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening (2008)! Marky Mark and Zooey Deschanel in an apocalypse thriller? Kat still doesn't believe it happened.
Review Overview: The absolute epitome of "so bad it's good."
Marky Mark is ridiculous in this, and the casting of Zooey Deschanel is so confusing. Their characters lacked chemistry, so it probably would have been better to write them as strangers who happened to get stuck with each other.
It is, however, hilarious. The next time you have friends over, put this movie on and bask in its sheer absurdity.
Kat: 3/10
Ryley: 1/10
Both: [00:00:00] Hello,
Kat: and welcome to
Both: Easy Bake Takes
Ryley: the podcast!
Kat: Where we read you the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. My name's Kat
Ryley: and I'm Ryley. And today our theme was what was it? Terrible movies or, or guilty pleasures?
Kat: Guilty pleasure movies.
Ryley: Guilty pleasure movies.
Kat: As in like, you know, it's a bad movie, it's just generally a bad movie, but you love watching it.
Ryley: Cuz it's so stupid and terrible. I chose The Happening, came around 2008 by M. Night Shyamalan. I do wanna preface first, before we start, this movie does talk about sensitive issues. This is just a warning for anyone who that may concern.
Kat: Yes. Specifically suicide.
Ryley: Like throughout the movie.
Kat: It's like the plot.
Ryley: It's the plot, but to keep going, it's rated R it's [00:01:00] mites first rated R movie. It's an hour and 31 minutes, which is.
Kat: Thank God.
Ryley: It, thank God. But also it still feels too long.
Kat: it does.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: it was on the last 15. I won't, I won't get too far into it, but I was like, what else could happen?
Ryley: It drags.
Kat: Oh yeah.
Ryley: And I just wanted to specify too that on Rotten Tomatoes, it got 17% from critics and a 24% from audiences. So this movie was not rated well at all.
Kat: I wouldn't think so.
Ryley: No. It's- Yes no, no, it, it makes sense. I'm gonna go ahead and read the plot. In New York city central park people began committing mass suicide. The event is believed to be caused by a bioterrorist attack using an airborne neurotoxin. The behavior quickly spreads across the Northeastern United States. High school science teacher, Elliot Moore, and his wife Alma are convinced by Elliott's mathematician colleague, Julian to accompany him and his daughter, Jess, on a train out of Philadelphia. During the trip, the group learns that Boston and Philadelphia have been affected. The train loses all radio contact and [00:02:00] stops all at a small town. When Julian learns that his wife has left Boston for Princeton, he decide to go look for her and entrusts Jess to the Moore's. However, Julian arrives to find Princeton has been affected and it commits suicide by slitting his wrist. Elliot Alma, and Jess hit a ride with a nursery man and his wife. The nurseryman theorizes that plant life has developed a defense mechanism against humans consisting of an airborne toxin that simulates neurotransmitters and causes humans to kill themselves. The group is later joined by other survivors coming from various directions and the small crowd chooses to avoid roads and populated areas. When the larger part of the group's affected by the toxin, Elliot suggests the nursery man was right, and that the plants are targeting only large groups of people. He splits their group into smaller pockets and then walk along. The trio ends up with a pair of teenage boys, Josh and Jared, who are later shot and killed by the armed residents of a barricaded house. Elliott and Alma, and Jess wander through the countryside and come upon the home of Ms. Jones, an eccentric and paranoid elder. Jones initially agrees to [00:03:00] house the group in the night, but a suspicious of them having bad intentions. The next morning she decides to expel them. In a fury she leaves the house alone is affected by the toxin. The shaken Elliot realizes that the plants are now targeting individuals. Left with no option when Ms. Jones strikes her headed into serving windows, the trio chooses to die and embraces in the yard. Only to find themselves unaffected by the toxin. The outbreak has abated as quickly as it began. Three months later, Elliot and Alma have adjusted to their new life with Jess as their adopted daughter. Alma learns she's pregnant and surprises Elliot with the news. On television, an expert compares the natural event to a red tide and warns that the epidemic may have only been a harbinger of an impending global disaster. In Paris Tuileries gardens people began committing mass suicide. And that's where the movie ends. This was written directed and produced all by M. Night Shyamalan. And I also wanted to include the tagline, which I thought I loved. And the tagline is we've sensed it, we've seen the signs, now it's happening. And if you don't know, [00:04:00] we sensed this from the sixth sense. And we seen the signs is from the movie signs.
Kat: We walked the village.
Ryley: Oh, I wish.
Kat: We stewarded our littles.
Ryley: Oh my God. I forgot. That's fantastic. Oh my God. But like, but here's the cast. Unfortunately, Mark- Mark Wahlberg is in this movie. He plays the main character, Elliot Moore. Zooey Deschanel plays Alma, John Leguizamo plays Julian. I like him a lot.
Kat: I love him.
Ryley: Ashlyn Sanchez. She plays the little girl and funny enough, she has not appeared in any other thing. Other than this, I don't know if it's.
Kat: This was her peak.
Ryley: Yeah, unfortunately.
Kat: She probably just didn't wanna- didn't wanna act. And this was.
Ryley: Yeah, that's what I'm assuming. Or that, that the movie bombed so bad.
Kat: She was so embarrassed.
Ryley: It just ruined [00:05:00] her. She was so embarrassed. She was like, no.
Kat: Never again.
Ryley: Betty Buckley plays Mrs. Jones, Spencer Breslin plays Josh, Robert Bailey Jr. Plays Jared, Frank calls and plays the nursery owner. And included this guy. Do you watch succession?
Kat: I haven't.
Ryley: Oh my God. Okay. So Jeremy Strong, he's one of the main characters of that show. He's probably one of the most talented actors on TV right now. He's amazing. He plays the private in this movie.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Yes and, oh, I forgot. And I didn't realize this until afterwards when I realized the principal plays another character on that show succession, he plays his brother Connor and I don't know his name. Let me look him up real quick, Alan Ruck, he plays the principal, like a split second.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: But it's just really funny that they're both in it and they're both in that show.
Kat: Yeah. I love that. M. Night Shyamalan still found a way to work himself into this one too.
Ryley: I, I actually don't know where he is in this movie.
Kat: It said he was a voice.
Ryley: Yeah. Cuz I missed him in this movie.
Kat: I don't think you see his face. It said on there, on the cast that [00:06:00] he voiced somebody.
Ryley: Someone named Joey.
Kat: Yeah. I don't remember.
Ryley: I do not either. So I have some trivia. So Mark Wahlberg admitted that he regrets working on this movie, but said "you can't blame me from wanting to try to play science teacher. At least I wasn't playing a cop or a crook."
Kat: Fair enough.
Ryley: Fair enough. The movie was shot completely in sequence. And I thought that was interesting, cuz like you have your thoughts on that.
Kat: Well, it's, it's such an inefficient way to film a movie.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: The worst movies are shot in sequence. You think people would learn?
Ryley: Yeah. You think. It doesn't make any sense. Mark Wahlberg's line "be scientific, douche bag" was improvised, which big surprise. Days before the first few reviews for the film came like online and M. Night Shyamalan told the New York daily news, "we're making an excellent B movie. That's our goal."
Kat: Oh, he knew.
Ryley: He was trying to pat it.
Kat: That's a smart move though. Be like, oh, you can call it a B movie all you want. I'm agreeing with you.
Ryley: I don't, I don't think it's even good enough for B movie.
Kat: No.
Ryley: M. Night Shyamalan's first rated R film, which I found [00:07:00] kind of surprising cuz just knowing what he made before. I would've thought one or two would be rated R.
Kat: I would've thought the sixth sense was rated R.
Ryley: I would've too. Amy Adams was considered to play Alma, but declined.
Kat: I would've loved seeing her in this, but I'm so glad she didn't.
Ryley: Yeah. One that I forgot to put on here, but I remember the little girl in the movie wears a Avatar Last Airbender backpack. And then his next movie that he made was Avatar Last Airbender.
Kat: Which was also bad.
Ryley: Also very bad. Not good, but I thought that was a nice touch.
Kat: That's cute.
Ryley: There's a big goof in this movie that I just kind of love. 58 minutes in, they go up to this house. They're trying to get in to get food. The man inside refuses to let Elliot and his companions into the house cuz he does not want to let the points of his gas inside. However, all the houses windows are open.
Kat: Yeah. And he opened the door.
Ryley: And he opened the door too.
Kat: Board the windows up, but don't close them.
Ryley: Don't do it. Let that terrible gas in . But, okay. Tell [00:08:00] me your thoughts.
Kat: First and foremost. I just wanted to say that I've never been so confused and entertained by a movie.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: I had to do this twice. I had to look up twice that this movie wasn't supposed to be a comedy.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: And I didn't know anyone's name for most of the movie.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: I just kept writing in my notes like Mark Wahlberg or Zooey Deschanel or Abigail Breslin's brother.
Ryley: I thought he looked familiar. Yeah.
Kat: Yeah. He's he's her brother. And he's also the little boy from the Cat in the Hat movie.
Ryley: Oh, that's right. Okay.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: mm-hmm
Kat: I wrote this in all caps cause I was in the middle of writing, like, oh, the kids in this movie are so great um, I love those two boys. They're so funny. And then right when I was typing that he gets shot and I was like, there's no way. There's no way Mark Wahlbergs not gonna save this kid. And I wrote in all caps, why did they have to get shot? What the fuck is happening?
Ryley: They don't even die from the main threat. It's the people.
Kat: They get shot.
Ryley: Very apocalyptic, you know, scenario going on.
Kat: The, the very first note I wrote that [00:09:00] construction worker at the beginning, he was giving it everything.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Like he was acting, he was dedicated and then immediately after it cuts to Marky Mark going, so scary huh? It's so scary, huh? and then him basically saying to a child. Yes, your face looks good now, but at least you could learn science so you have something for the future and then being like, just kidding, bud. Just wanted you to participate in class. Like, you're cute now, you'll be ugly in a few years.
Ryley: Like there's no way Mark Wahlberg, would be allowed in a classroom after saying that shit to him, all those kids would be reporting him. Oh my God.
Kat: Also when the vice principal walks in and he is like, ah, turn the lights out. You're gonna get fired.
Ryley: I came in here to fire you .
Kat: Yeah. That's what it seemed like.
Ryley: Yeah. Right.
Kat: Mark Wahlberg and also Zooey Deschanel, neither of them really seem like they know what movie they're in. When mark Wahlberg's character is talking it [00:10:00] never seems like he's talking to anybody. It just seems like he's talking to himself. And someone happens to be listening. Like every line he delivers. That's what it sounds like, oh, you're here. I guess you can hear this. And then I also wanted to say that I do agree. Hot dogs do get a bad rap.
Ryley: And they do have a cool shape.
Kat: They do. And then if I was having like a panic attack or like something, I was like freaking out over something and somebody gave me a math riddle. I would hit them.
Ryley: Cause that's not gonna help whatsoever.
Kat: Him going, you wanna hear another one? And then just the juxtaposition of the car crashing into the tree, like immediately after. Same. Same.
Ryley: Yep, absolutely.
Kat: They, it absolutely killed me when, uh, Zooey Deschanel and Jess leave the room and he turns to the tree and goes, puts his hand on the chest and goes, hello. To the tree.
Ryley: I'm not gonna hurt you.
Kat: He's like my name's Elliot. I can't and then it's fake. It's a fake house plant.
Ryley: It's a fake tree [00:11:00] plastic. It seems like that where I'm like, this was intentionally made to laugh.
Kat: That was the second time I looked up. Is this a comedy?
Ryley: Is this a comedy? Cause, oh my God.
Kat: Cause like, after that, then they go to the boarded up house. He just starts singing. And I was like, why is he singing?
Ryley: Well, my favorite part is he goes, he goes, we're perfectly normal. And he sings and he goes, see, we're perfectly sane. I'm like, that is the exact opposite of what I would think if mark Wahlberg was at my door and he just starts singing. I'd be like, do not let that man in. He is sick.
Kat: Get him outta here.
Ryley: Get him outta here.
Kat: Most of my notes were about him.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: He is so unconvincing when this old woman's like you were planning to kill me. You were planning to Rob me.
Ryley: No, we weren't.
Kat: What?
Ryley: No! He sounds like he was.
Kat: What? He literally goes. What? Like that. What? I wasn't gonna kill you. I was gonna let the plants do it.
Ryley: It's so bad.[00:12:00]
Kat: Is this when directing really comes in? Is this when it's the is it?
Ryley: I think
Kat: the writing and directing's fault, cuz like I've seen him be decent.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: Anyway, it's the last note I have. I just wrote, I can't believe this wasn't like a TV movie or like direct to DVD movie and that it actually made money at the box office.
Ryley: Oh, so it wasn't a bomb financially.
Kat: No.
Ryley: Oh.
Kat: No, just with the reviews.
Ryley: Oh my God. Cause I saw so many times it bombed not financially though. Okay. That's interesting.
Kat: Yeah. Isn't that ridiculous?
Ryley: That's crazy. But this was back in the time where like, he, people were still trusting him about movies. Like they were like, oh
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Maybe he's back on track. You know?
Kat: I feel like every time he comes out with a new movie everyone thinks that.
Ryley: Mm-hmm I think split did well. The visit did fine I think.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Critically too, like it wasn't his worst.
Kat: He came out out of the gate so fast with like the sixth senses, you know, like that was like such a, such a good [00:13:00] movie.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: That it's like, I don't think any of his movies. And I know you like Signs.
Ryley: I like a lot of his movies.
Kat: I, I just don't think a lot of them have been able to
Ryley: top
Kat: to top Signs.
Ryley: He peaked at Sixth Sense.
Kat: Not signs. Not signs, Sorry. No, I'm not a supporter of Signs. We know this.
Ryley: We watched that movie together.
Kat: You know this, you know, I don't like signs.
Ryley: I thought you,
Kat: No, I think it's stupid that they would come to a planet that's 70% water.
Ryley: We've had this argument before. Okay.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I've had many arguments of- why would men go to the moon where there's not even air?
Kat: They have a suit for it, but like,
Ryley: Okay. Uh, aliens could walk around. They're fine.
Kat: Your one weakness is water. Why don't you go to a planet somewhere else?
Ryley: They're- they explain it in the movie?
Kat: Oh, the, the little girl had cups of water. Now the aliens can't get them.
Ryley: They explain in the movie. More than likely the aliens use all the resources on their planet. So they are, they're desperate to find resources on another planet and it just so happens to be earth and they can't control if there's water on there or not. That's [00:14:00] fine. Cause we go to space where there's not even air, there's no food. There's nothing.
Kat: I'm sorry, I just, that still, that doesn't make it make more sense to me. I'm sorry.
Ryley: Yes, it does. Okay. Then you're just being stubborn and, um, trying. No, I think that's, I think you're you just have dumb views.
Kat: I also just I also just, I also just don't like it.
Ryley: That's fine, but don't argue with logic about it. Cause we go to, we go outer in our space and with no air. And we're thinking about building.
Kat: I don't wanna go out to outer space.
Ryley: That's what we do.
Kat: I didn't say humans were smart. I didn't say humans were making good choices. I just thought the aliens were better than that.
Ryley: They're desperate for resources and planet earth is what they have to do, and guess what they can walk around when it's not raining. And that's okay. I'm so I'm at a ten right now.
Kat: I could tell. And we were struggling to find movies we don't agree on.
Ryley: Yeah. we were, oh yeah. Do you like the village? I can't remember if you like the village or not.
Kat: I love the village.
Ryley: [00:15:00] Okay. There you go.
Kat: I love the village. I love the village. I don't enjoy Signs. I also just don't like sci-fi alien stuff that much.
Ryley: Okay.
Kat: Yet I thought Close Encounters of the Third Kind was good and you did not.
Ryley: So, okay. So we have some differences on some sci-fi movies.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Okay.
Kat: Yeah. I know we always give about the same rating on everything.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: but we don't agree on everything.
Ryley: If we do signs where it is. It is gonna oh, explode.
Kat: well, last, last week, getting into the fucking Blair witch.
Ryley: Oh yeah. So we do have a, we have a nice list going here of some movies that we don't agree with.
Kat: Also recently we remembered what movie that you lied to me about having seen.
Ryley: Which one was it again?
Kat: Donnie Darko.
Ryley: Mm. You put it on and I fell asleep.
Kat: I am not, I am not the only liar here. Okay.
Ryley: That's fair. That's fair.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: Let's drop the [00:16:00] Signs topic.
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: Before I , before I leave the room.
Kat: I had to, I haven't had a good, like Ryley Signs rant in so long. It's just been so long.
Ryley: It pops up every year or so.
Kat: I can't believe you forgot that I, I don't enjoy signs.
Ryley: I'm so self absorbed with that movie that I thought everyone likes it, except for people I've argued about it with. And I forgot that I've argued about it with you.
Kat: Mm-hmm , it's a pretty 50 50 split with Signs, people either love it or hate it.
Ryley: Yeah. I was about to say like, and I get it, but I don't get it. You should love it. And if you don't like it, then you're wrong. , you're just too dumb dumb to understand the movie
Kat: I think Signs and the Blair Witch Project are the only like, well, not, probably not the only, but like the biggest tension between us movies.
Ryley: Yeah. Those are like ones that I really, really like. And it makes me angry that you don't like them.
Kat: I just, I thought you had good taste until you told me like this.[00:17:00]
Ryley: And that, and that's where that's when I start getting angry. Cause I'm like, let me explain to you why this is a good movie in case you didn't learn this in film school.
Kat: We have airplanes and those two movie are where we're we're different.
Ryley: Oh yeah. We learned that you love airports and airplanes. I hate them. I do not like going near them. That's so funny.
Kat: We're really picking at straws here with trying to find things we disagree on.
Ryley: They're little things. They're not big things.
Kat: Yes. I just like saying I hate Signs mostly because of how riled up you get over that.
Ryley: It's just, it's so simple to explain to people. And when they just keep going, it's dumb. It's dumb, no dumb, dumb, you don't understand why you sound dumb when you say
Kat: You know,
Ryley: it doesn't make sense.
Kat: If that makes you feel better about liking this movie. I understand. I understand whatever you gotta do to sleep at night.
Ryley: We will take this movie one day to talk about, and that will [00:18:00] be our last episode.
Kat: And then we'll just, we'll post a YouTube video of us physically fighting.
Ryley: It's two and a half hours long.
Kat: we'll have a training montage.
Ryley: It'll be fantastic.
Kat: That's when my Kickboxing career will start, I'll start with my best friend.
Ryley: As it should. Do you have anything more to say? I'm gonna, I have a few things to say, but not much. And then we can go into the reviews.
Kat: Um, yeah, no, I have nothing else to say. I just, um, Yeah.
Ryley: Yeah. I just wanna say, I grew up with this movie. I watched this very, very young and for 10 year old brain, I was like, this is a good movie. Oh my God, this movie's scary. This movie scare- Mark Wahlbergs in it. And I recognize him. So it must be good.
Kat: What? Ma'am. No.
Ryley: No. What? He has the most obnoxious voice in this movie. He does this movie's all over the place too. This movie is ran so poorly. [00:19:00] And like you said, like you had to look up if it's comedy, I almost think it's done on purpose just because of how poorly the dialogue, the direction, how it drags.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: And how he even directs. Cuz these are moderately good actors. They are wooden boards in this movie. The, the delivery on every piece of dialogue is the oddest delivery you will ever hear of an actor.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: It's so odd. This movie is so bad.
Kat: when you say like, it might have been intentional, if that is true, like it's entertaining and funny, it still has this air about it where you're not sure.
Ryley: Yeah, it's confusing.
Kat: Yeah. If it, if it was intentionally supposed to be like kind of goofy, it didn't come across that way while watching, because it was so confusing and it seems like, I don't know. The best example I can think of is like Parasite, where it's like, you can tell that the funny moments in there are like intentionally funny and they're trying to bring a like air of humor [00:20:00] to it.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: Whereas this one it's. There are things in this where that I'm like, maybe that joke was supposed to be funny.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: But there's this other thing where it's like, it seems so serious, but I'm laughing at it. I don't know if I can believe you, if you told me that this was intentionally funny, like it just.
Ryley: Exactly.
Kat: I don't wanna give them the credit of being like, oh, you did this on purpose.
Ryley: And that word you just said serious. That's the part, that's the confusing part what's happening in the movie is very serious. But Marky mark is talking and it just.
Kat: Yes.
Ryley: You're like what?
Kat: Every time he opens his mouth.
Ryley: I'm not even kidding. Every time he opens his mouth in this movie, it is just the most absurd reading of a, of a, of a line you've ever heard. And you're like, when's he gonna, why does he sound like that? Why is he talking like that? Horrible performance. He did terrible in this movie.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So. Terrible movie, but it's so bad, it's funny. That's why I [00:21:00] picked this movie. It's a guilty pleasure. For me, this is the guilty pleasure movie, cuz it is so bad, it's funny. This is a great movie to put on when you have people over.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: You know, you're drinking, you're having fun and you're just like, you just guys wanna watch something stupid and they're like, yes. This is a good one.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: To throw on. If everyone's comfortable with like what's happening in the movie.
Kat: Yeah. And it's really like, it is jarring. That's the thing that makes me feel like I could see where you would come in with like maybe it was like, so over the top that like intentionally funny because it's like this dark ass thing it's happening, but it has this goofy air about it, but they're trying to be serious about this dark thing that's happening.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: But then Marky Mark exists and it's just throws the whole thing off. I could see it being intentional if it wasn't Marky Mark.
Ryley: Yeah, to be honest, I don't think this movie is written very well. I think-
Kat: No.
Ryley: Everything that could be wrong about this movie is wrong. Interesting concept. And that's about it. [00:22:00] And I'm not even blaming Marky Mark for anything. I'm just saying he's the worst bit.
Kat: Anything else you had?
Ryley: No. So we're gonna move on to the critic reviews. So we're gonna start with a positive one. There were not many, it was hard to find, but this is Roger Ebert. He starts off it by saying the quote on the chalkboard in the classroom where they're talking about the bees disappearing and on the chalkboard, it says "if the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live," quoted by Albert Einstein. Well, this was never actually quoted by Albert Einstein. That wasn't a problem when he was alive. They thought it was a nice detail to the idea of like the human species being on the verge of doom or
Kat: mm-hmm
Ryley: apocalypse or whatever. They also talk about how Shyamalan shows a large population of people during like this, this crisis that's happening and, you know, in most apocalyptic movies, people are like going crazy, they're rioting, they're killing each other for whatever reason.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: In [00:23:00] this movie, it's like, people are quiet. People are just kind of like, they're apprehensive. Guess he liked this detail because it's one of those things where they don't know what they're running from. So how would you react?
Kat: Yeah, I do like the idea of really focusing on like the earth fighting back.
Ryley: Revenge. Yeah, interesting way to show that. They go on to quote, "for me, Shyamalan's approach is more effective than smash and grab plot mongering. His use of landscape is disturbingly effective. Performances by Wahlberg and Deschanel bring a quiet dignity through their characters. The strangeness of starting a day in New York and ending it by hiking across the country field is underlined. Most of the other people we meet, not all, are muted and introspective. Had they been half expecting some such event as this? What I admire about the Happening is that its pace and substance allow me to examine such thoughts and ask how I might respond to a wake up call from nature. Shyamalan allows his characters space and time as they look within themselves. Those they meet on the [00:24:00] way are such as they might indeed plausibly meet. Even the TV and radio news is done correctly, as convenient cliches about terrorism, give way to bewilderment and apprehension. I suspect I'll be in the minority in praising this film. It will be described as empty uneventful meandering, but for some, it will weave a spell. It is a parable, yes, but it is also simply the story of these people and how their lives in existence have silently become problematic. We depend on such a super structure to maintain us that one or two alterations could leave us stranded and wandering through a field. If we are that lucky."
Kat: I get what he's saying.
Ryley: Mm-hmm
Kat: I don't know how he thought that Wahlberg and Deschanel were good in this movie.
Ryley: I don't either.
Kat: I get, like, if you were to think about what happens in the movie
Ryley: mm-hmm
Kat: and like the premise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting. It's an interesting way to go about like an apocalypse scenario. Yeah. It's not well done at all though.
Ryley: No. I think he, to [00:25:00] me like saw this movie and kind of saw its potential of what it could have been.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I feel like he really liked the concept and could have seen how this could have been really well. And cuz I, I know what he's talking about.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: and I think there are cool concepts could have been in this movie.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Or at least were, but weren't portrayed how I saw it. You know?
Kat: Yeah. I get how he would get here.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: But I just, I feel like that takes a little bit of like seeing past some things.
Ryley: Yes, absolutely. That's what I thought as well.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: I'm not saying's wrong. I just, I couldn't get there.
Kat: Yeah. I'm, I'm glad that somebody enjoyed their performances.
Ryley: Yes.
Kat: the aspect about how it immediately is like, it has to be another person and like the media outlets, like clung on to like it being a bioterrorist attack.
Ryley: Mm-hmm , that's what would happen, you know?
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: Immediately, we, we would want someone to blame.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: And not think-
Kat: It's not our fault.
Ryley: Yeah. [00:26:00]
Kat: Somebody else who's
Ryley: Somebody else. Mm-hmm
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Now we're gonna move on to Jason Bailey on flavor wire.com. They wrote "bad movie night, the nearly career sinking silliness of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening." They talk about how M. Night Shyamalan had at the time in 2008 had like two bombs before it was the Village, which didn't do very well critically and the Lady in Water, people hated that movie. I understand. I tried watching it, I guess people weren't sure, but I guess we're hoping that it was gonna be, he, he would come back.
Kat: That's what I meant earlier by saying like, every time he puts out a movie, everyone has this hope this will be another
Ryley: Sixth Sense.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: So after those two bombs, you could tell from this movie that he was trying to go back to like this Twilight zone-esque kind of thing, going on, just this weird, like, you know, kind of apocalyptic thing going on. And, uh, it was his first rated R movie, which the critic says, "sounds like if a nine year old just learned new curse words."
Kat: I feel like the suicide part is like the only thing that would've made this movie Rated R.
Ryley: Yeah. Cuz I don't remember like them cursing that too much. I'm [00:27:00] sure when they do it sounds weird and outta place, like every other thing you're seeing this movie.
Exactly.
They say the twist, if you can call it, that is poorly executed. Like with menacing shots of the trees and windstorms and characters going, I think it's the plants and then someone else going, you think it could be the plants and it's basically that throughout the movie. So.
Kat: Literally, yeah.
Ryley: The twist is the plants are the ones killing them, but it's like, was that really even a twist?
Kat: It's not a twist.
Ryley: It's really not though.
Kat: I didn't even realize that was a twist.
Ryley: That exactly. And they quote, "at any rate the plants attack versus major cities in the Northeast, which then citizens Curring for the sticks among them, our high school science teacher, Mark Wall. Yes, really his wife, Zooey Deschanel, who's racked with guilt for going out for dessert with some dude that's an actual subplot and his colleague, John Leguizamo, who ends up sending his eight year old child off into the wilderness with Wahlberg and Deschanel, while he tries to find his wife, which is totally a thing that every parent would do."
Kat: [00:28:00] Yeah. I thought that was weird. I was like, why didn't he just go with, uh, I know your wife is-
Ryley: But like, I feel like a parent would be like, no, I need to focus on my child first and the safety of my child and be with my child.
Kat: Especially not with Marky mark.
Ryley: I'm not leaving my kid with Marky Mark.
Kat: No.
Ryley: That's the last thing I'm gonna do. Maybe Zooey Deschanel, maybe.
Kat: Yeah. They mentioned the thing with the subplot about her getting dessert with a coworker and feeling bad.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: I feel like this movie would've been a little bit better if they were not a couple at all, they were just like two strangers that happened to.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: That would've made more sense.
Ryley: We're given weird details. Like one character says like, oh, I saw Zooey Deschanel's character crying at your wedding. And it's like, what's that? It almost sounds like she hates him.
Kat: That's what I thought it was gonna be.
Ryley: I don't know what to do with his information. It sounds like you hate him. Maybe you should leave him.
Kat: Yeah. It sounds like they should not be married. Been upset about being together since your wedding. Not just-
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: From recently having like a dessert.
Ryley: Dessert.
Kat: Oh, Joey, Joey's the guy she had dessert with. That's who M. Night Shyamalan voices.
Ryley: Oh, [00:29:00] but you don't even hear him.
Kat: I think when they're on the phone, you probably just hear like, sort of a voice.
Ryley: Oh, that's- okay. That's hardly anything. Okay.
Kat: Yeah, exactly. I feel like he didn't wanna put his face in this one.
Ryley: He, he knew from the beginning, this was not gonna be okay.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: Oh my god.
Kat: But yeah we figured it out. That's that's who he is.
Ryley: Okay. There we go. They go on to quote, "Deschanel has been good in plenty of movies, but not so much in The Happening. She's first seen wide-eyed on the, on the couch, twitching, wildly, and recites most of her dialogue as if she's reading it phonetically for the first time. That's how everyone sounds like in this movie though.
Kat: Except those two kids, they were good. They were funny. They were on.
Ryley: They were on, they were good. "...if she's reading it phonetically for the first time, perhaps from an off camera, chalkboard. Wahlberg fares no better, his default mode also seems to be wide eyed panic. Though there is a great moment where he greets nearby gunshots with a look of sheer bafflement anda muted, oh no. But through most of the [00:30:00] movie he's doing a weird kind of upper vocal register acting that makes you think Andy Sandberg did most of his mark Wahlberg talks to animals prep here." Oh my gosh. "And then of course there is a YouTube's favorite scene in which a weird old folksy lady, Betty Buckley, begrudgingly offers him makeshift a meal and place to stay before turning nasty. And this happens: while we're strained overacting here and elsewhere create the odd feeling throughout The Happening that Dirk Diggler finally got into a real movie. But again, Wahlberg can be good in movies, so can Leguizamo, there's just no reason for this movie to be this bad, unless it's intentional." And they go onto quote, "it's all terrible and is clearly intended that way. For reasons still unknown, aside from Shyamalan's unconvincing insertion that they were merely making a really fun B movie, he wrote the dialogue this stiffly and instructed his performers to act like they never said words or interacted with each other before. Everyone is so inexplicably off and disengaged. In fact, that [00:31:00] I was half expected, the big M. Night Shyamalan twist to be that they're all alien beings trying to act human, that it's some sort of stealth Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, frankly, that would be more entertaining than whatever the hell he's doing here." That would be kind of interesting. That would be an interesting twist.
Kat: I was waiting for like something else.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: That would've been better, like an Invasion of the Body Snatchers thing, where the, the acting was so bad that I feel like that would've completely forgiven all of the acting if they just happened to not actually be human beings.
Ryley: Yeah. Here's another negative review. They titled it, The M. Nightmare by Kyle Smith, it's written in 2008. "When a malicious breeze begins to blow in the happening fear sets in. The fear that the only thing that will occur in is the Shyamalan hitting the fan. Someday this," movie "movie's principal claim to fame will be that it inspired an episode of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, the Crappening." They did not like Shyamalan's other films saying, that they have [00:32:00] stupid endings and how, uh, Lady in Water was stupid all the way through. So they're not a big fan of his. They say it's just set up, set up, set up end. The old lady at the end was just to like pad time. It kind of drags at that point.
Kat: It does. It does.
Ryley: There's really like, she's creepy and weird, but like she's, as far as the movie goes, she's not an actual threat. She doesn't actually really do anything.
Kat: She just slaps the little girl's hand.
Ryley: And then gives her the cookie anyway. And then they quote, "Shyamalan has hit on something though and he does set up an IV drip of tension. The moment is right for a movie like this eco unease and terrorism are in the air. Both of them for many carrying the stink of our own sins as a plausible root cause. It wouldn't take much to persuade today's audience that the answer blowing the wind is that a hard rains a gonna fall. With a slightly brainier imagination at work, the Happening could have been a spooky little art film whose purpose wasn't so much to tell a linear our story as to strum on our inner sense of looming [00:33:00] catastrophe, the unanswered questions adding to the dread. That would call on skill Shyamalan has not shown since his only good movie. Making characters interesting and up dialogue with something other than plotting functionality. Whatever is happening is happening to smaller, smaller populations, red herrings. We had tiramisu together that's it, or dull jokes, I'm talking to a plastic plant."
Kat: That was funny though.
Ryley: That was funny. "Laying down a witty or ironic subtext, as Stanley Kubrick would have, is not within Shyamalan's powers. Kubrick's films are made to be pondered over repeated viewings. No one will watch any of Shyamalan's recent films twice. A movie that features Wahlberg suggesting everyone to try to out run the wind can barely be watched once." It's so bad. It's good. That's just all I have to say.
Kat: Yeah. I mean, that's, that's how I felt about it. That's what my, I that's what my Letterboxd review was. It's literally it's the, the epitome of so bad it's good.
Ryley: Yeah. So, yeah, the only thing I would disagree with this person is like, you can watch it more than once, but not
Kat: mm-hmm [00:34:00]
Ryley: in a sincere way.
Kat: Yeah. Yeah.
Ryley: This last, one's a positive one by Patrick Dahl. And they quote, "like, just about any horror film, The Happening is full to bursting with big shots of horrified faces, reverse shots, reveal their doom, empty fields of grass. These wide eyes and gaping mouths scan the landscape for wind that might carry a neurotoxin that makes people kill themselves. It's a remarkably simple and effective inversion of the Kuhleshov effect in which sedate greenery assumes an apocalyptically sinister cast by virtue of the anguished faces juxtaposed against it. Generally unsettling and more relevant to lived experience every year, M. Night Shyamalan's much maligned film deserves better than its reputation as an inspiration for drinking games. In time, honored disaster movie tradition, misanthropic creeps threaten our heroes along the way as much as the big boogeyman does. The journey is plausibly episodic and disjointed, punctuated by Baroque [00:35:00] death scenes who recalled the Spielberg who had a T-Rex eat a lawyer off a toilet. Shyamalan's first R rated film arrived as audiences were tiring of the rug pulling shtick that made him one of the last filmmakers to become a household name. Filtering Hitchcock through Spielberg Shyamalan offers two, righteous gimmicks, a largely invisible environmental threat and the grisly suicide it causes, that compensate for the script's grading," sentiment, "sentimentality and a mutinous star performance. The film might have had a chance at a better legacy were it not for Mark Wallberg's shockingly awful presence. Every line reading is miscalculated, vacant of all emotion, except for kind of petulant wine. It's difficult to think of another central performance at odds with a film's purpose. Luckily, Shyamalan's perverse imagination for cheap thrills successively elbows the star out of the way." So their only problem was Mark Wahlberg.
Kat: I don't like that they had a problem with people watching it to like, make fun of it.
Ryley: Yeah. Cuz like, [00:36:00] sorry, it's really.
Kat: Is he gonna make any less money that way? No.
Ryley: That's the thing, again, this is one of those positive reviews where like they really like the concept. And I get that.
Kat: Yeah. I'm not really getting the Hitchcock through Spielberg.
Ryley: I don't know where they got that from. Well, they, everyone says like, oh, it kind of get gives off like The Birds feeling or they said something else, but I'm like, oh, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm like, It doesn't though. it doesn't, I don't know where you're pulling that from.
Kat: I get what they mean. Like it, I guess it has that like sixties horror, quality acting.
Ryley: Yeah. A lot of people were like trying to compare it to them. Like, no, it's not, it's not comparable.
Kat: If a movie like the birds with that level of acting were to come out now.
Ryley: Mm.
Kat: It wouldn't be a good movie. I just, I'm just gonna say that.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: But I think they mean it as a nicer thing, but
Ryley: I think they do [00:37:00] too.
Kat: Hitchcock was a terrible person. So let's, let's stop comparing people to 'em.
Ryley: Yeah, no kidding. We can go ahead and move on to the audience reviews.
Kat: Okay.
Ryley: We'll start off with the 10 out of 10. This one just says, "I will never understand people," which you would, you would think that would be a negative one, but they're just really angry that people didn't like this movie. It's written in 2008.
Kat: That's usually how the positive ones are on bad movies.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: They're just like, I just, I don't get why people didn't like this.
Ryley: They're so defensive.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: "M. Night Shyamalan has created a very original story with a lot of creative ideas, amazing tone and brilliant shock and suspense scenes that would make even Hitchcock proud. So why all the hate for such an awesome movie? The only conclusion I can come up with is that either people just love to hate on Shyamalan, as was evident with the village, or they just wanna see more rehashing. People must love all of the sequels: Indiana Jones 4, the incredible Hulk, remakes and adaptations: Speed Racer, Iron Man, and the straight horor ripoffs: the [00:38:00] strangers, the ruins, etc. etc. Don't get me wrong, I liked most of these movies with the exception of the ripoffs and speed racer, but The Happening iss far superior because it actually has originality. It truly, in my opinion, is the greatest movie of 2008 so far, and maybe the best movie of the past few years." First off Indiana Jones 4, anyone who liked that movie, you need to take it back. That is not a good movie.
Kat: Is that the, um, one with Shia Lebouf?
Ryley: Yep. Mm-hmm.
Kat: Also, I like the strangers.
Ryley: I like the strangers too. And the ruins, uh, I watched recently, it's not bad. I don't know if it's a rip off of anything, but.
Kat: Ponyo came out in 2008.
Ryley: Oh, nice.
Kat: Excuse me. That was the best movie of 2008. Actually the dark night came out that in 2008.
Ryley: Oh my gosh.
Kat: 2008 was a good year for movies. Let the right one in, oh, that is a good movie.
Ryley: Which one is that? Is that a horror movie?
Kat: That's the vampire one.
Ryley: Mm,
Kat: Nordic vampire one.
Ryley: Oh, okay.
Kat: This was not the best movie that came out in 2008. Are you kidding?
Ryley: It is not. So I don't know [00:39:00] what they're talking about. I do agree with that part when they're like, I think people just love to hate shyamalan as was evident with the village, which I agree the village should have not gone as much hate as it did.
Kat: That is true. Yeah.
Ryley: It really was not that bad of a movie.
Kat: Yeah. Oh yeah. Angus thongs and perfect snogging came out in 2008. So, um.
Ryley: Eat your words.
Kat: Yeah. Bite your tongue bitch.
Ryley: That was the first positive one. And now we can get to some negative ones.
Kat: You're right. They were very defensive.
Ryley: Yeah. This is a one out of 10. Titled "The Happening: Woefully Acted, Barely Written and Just Absurd." "I suggested that my friends and I go see this film in the cinema when it was released as a result"
Kat: Cinema. British.
Ryley: Yeah, we have a British here.
Kat: British spotted.
Ryley: "As a result, I have never since been allowed to choose the film." I love that you get one, you get one mistake.
Kat: I've gotten plenty.
Ryley: "The [00:40:00] happening concerns a mysterious phenomenon which is leading to mass death and causing widespread panic around the world. Mark Wahlberg plays a high school teacher thrust into the middle of this emergency situation with his girlfriend played by Zooey Deschanel. They are journeying across the country to escape 'the happening.' The premise is interesting to begin with, a message lying at the heart of the film. It is however, taken beyond the point of redemption by Shyamalan. The script is simple, generic unimaginative, boorish, rubbish." Yeah, we got British here. "stupid," emotionless, "emotionless and inhuman lines spoken by characters which might, with a degree of kindness, be described as two-dimensional. The relationships between them are entirely unbelievable and insincere and the acting oh, the acting. Wahlberg deserves a slap as the blandly irritating and vapid hero, who appears to have only a single tone of mundanity available to him as a voice, and Zooey Deschanel is well simply Zooey Deschanel isn't. Having [00:41:00] Wahlberg speak to himself would've been less painful. Oh wait. He does try that. the expressions of joy" and this is in quotations. "Expressions of joy, fear, shock, and sadness upon Deschanel's face are entirely indistinguishable from each other and indeed," from, "from emotion at all. Possibly the single worst performance I've ever seen. To make matters worse, both characters seem more attached to turning their heads to the side than they are to each other. You'll think they're trying to get something out of their ears, perhaps the sound of the dialogue, clunky and tacky as it comes. Woefully acted, barely ran and just observed. The only thing happening with happening is the steady flow of people leaving. Shyamalan continues his recent trend of awfulness, digging even deeper into his cinematic grave.
Kat: I imagine that his friends were like, all right, you picked that movie. It was bad. Now as a punishment, you have to go write a one star review about what's wrong with it.
Ryley: It's gotta be a certain amount of words. The [00:42:00] amount of essays I had to just scroll past to find even something, even as short as this.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: People went off about this movie.
Kat: I bet.
Ryley: This is the next one star review it's called appalling. This was written in 2010. Absolute rubbish, rubbish story, rubbish acting, rubbish directing. Not worth wasting your time watching. I was shocked at how bad this film is! Characters seem wooden and completely unbelievable and the science behind the story is almost as bad as the core. M. Night Shyamalan is capable of so much more than this drivel. Mark Wahlberg's," character, "character is cringeworthy, as is Zooey Deschanel's. This is about as unrealistic as it gets. I hate to slag off a movie as much as I am, but I see nothing of any value is this film, apart from a lesson to filmmakers on how not to make a motion picture. Personal rating, 1/10.
Kat: Did this like get bigger in, in England or something like what happened?
Ryley: I, I guess, I don't know. This is another one out of 10. Written in 2015. It's titled "worst. Movie. Ever." "This movie so [00:43:00] bad, you'll think that Mark Wahlberg should have just stuck with rapping. I can't even describe how terrible this movie is. If you're sifting through reviews to find a reason to watch it, don't. It's normal for a film to have cynics and skeptics, but in this case, every criticism criticism is well earned. The acting? Nope. The plot? No. And the dialogue? Hell no. This movie," was absolutely, "has absolutely no continuity whatsoever and the pacing is so bad that you'll have at least a dozen moments where you just sit and think maybe they made this movie this bad on purpose, like to end up in the hall of fame for worst movies of all time or something. Because trust me, it's absolutely that bad. I literally don't understand how this movie could make it from production," to per, "to premiere without a wall of people protesting it for its awfulness. I wish I could grade this film with dookies instead of stars, because give even giving it the lowest slotted amount of stars, one, feels wrong. I feel much better getting giving this film one giant doki or 10 or [00:44:00] 50,000. I'm not even sure at this point, that's how bamboozled I am by this horrible movie. I didn't even think it was worth a review until I realized I may be the difference between someone watching and not watching and so I feel it's my civic duty to not let that happen. Save your two hours and go watch paint dry. You'll be thankful you did. Dang.
Kat: Oh my.
Ryley: This next one's from letterboxd. It has one star and it just says "Mark Wahlberg gets out-acted by a plant."
Kat: He does.
Ryley: This is another one star. "Certainly one of the more unorthodox episodes of the new girl I've seen."
Kat: true.
Ryley: True. So this next one's one out of 10 stars. "So bad. I watched it twice. I just watched this film on a streaming service and could not believe how bad it was. Mark Wahlberg developed a character that he later went on to use too much better effect in Ted and the other guys, whilst Zooey just stared a lot. She has lovely eyes and she wasn't going to waste them. she tried acting in one scene if I remember, but realized it wasn't for [00:45:00] her and she had a better stick to her strengths. it wasn't until the end that I realized I had seen this," scene, this, "when it came first, came out and had buried it deep, deep within. I'm only writing this review as a reminder that I've now seen this twice and cannot continue to make this mistake." So they saw it in theaters and forgot. So that's funny.
Kat: That is so funny.
Ryley: Well, it came out
Kat: So funny.
Ryley: in 2008, and now they wrote this in 2021. That's like.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: How many years? That's 13 years. I can see how you would, you would forget, especially if it was so, so bad.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: I just love they, they realized I saw this.
Kat: Have you ever done that with a movie?
Ryley: Yes. Um, we watched a movie the other night. It wasn't so much, I saw it in theaters, but I had seen it before and I remembered halfway through. I was like, oh, I've seen this before. And
Kat: mm-hmm .
Ryley: I was like, but I don't remember how it ends. So I kept watching it to see how it ends. I was like, ah, yes. Terrible. So this next one's from letterboxd it's one star. "So [00:46:00] basically like, so basically what happens is like," I just love,
Kat: That sounds like us on this podcast.
Ryley: It does. It does. And I was like, that's the happening is like it's happening.
Kat: So basically what. Yeah. What, what happens is like so BA so basically.
Ryley: It's terrible.
Kat: yes.
Ryley: and this next one doesn't even, I love the ones they don't even have a star rating.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Ryley: So you have no clue where they're coming from. And this says, "I love acting. I love how Zooey is a normal human being in elf. And I love how without this movie succession, one of the best actors shows of all time doesn't exist." And that's what I was talking about before with those two characters.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: This next one's one 10 stars from IMdB. It's titled "Worst of M. Nights yet." "This is quite possibly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I don't usually comment on the sci unless I am very disturbed. The movie was horrendous. Not even Mark Wahlberg made it better. M. Night's characters have no depth, terrible lines and absolutely [00:47:00] no acting skills. I can't even describe how bad the movie was. I was ready to leave after the first 10 minutes. One out of 10. I hope that he stops making movies. They are getting progressively worse. I didn't even watch Lady in the Water and I should not have watched this either. My lesser judgment prevailed and I almost cried. It was so bad. The only reason I keep talking is to get the minimum 10 lines of text need, need to submit this. Don't see it, it's two hours of your life wasted." It's not two hours. It's only an hour and a half.
Kat: People round up a little too much.
Ryley: Yeah. That's a whole half hour that-
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Does not exist.
Kat: No, it feels like it. Sure.
Ryley: Yeah. But. but I love this. They're like, I do not write, I don't write reviews unless I'm disturbed. I love that.
Kat: Which is fair. That's fair. I rather you write when you feel extremely.
Ryley: Yeah, this next one is one and a half stars. It's quoting Mark Wallberg in that scene. "What? No. This gets a bonus one star for unintentional comedy. This [00:48:00] movie is so muddled and baffling on so many levels. It's almost a parody, but the range of how characters act just makes that all the more confusing. It has some hilarious line delivery, some incredibly stupid moments and probably the funniest slowmo shooting scene in cinema. Zooey Deschanel is awful. Mark Wahlberg has some of the funniest and dumbest lines ever. The dude is a teacher, but everything he says while teaching is something he could have just read in a tabloid magazine he purchased on the way of the way out of a stop and shop. The movie has an interesting start then just slugs along. Waste of a premise, but at least there's a defense of hot dogs in the flick." They got cool shape. Very true.
Kat: That's what I'm saying.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: That's what I'm saying. Zooey Deschanel's character was too judgemental of that, man.
Ryley: She was, they were really nice. He was not crazy. I like those two characters.
Kat: They could have just left you.
Ryley: They, they could have. This one's five stars from Letterboxd, a master "masterpiece for all the wrong reasons. I absolutely love this colossal piece of [00:49:00] shit." This next one's one and a half stars from Letterboxd. "I do remember liking this movie when it came out, but watching it now, I realized just how completely toneally confused it is. Is this M. Night trying to make a homage to B movies? If so, then why is it so serious? Is it supposed to be a cautionary tale? If so, why is it so blatantly overed by everyone? A really weird movie that is just plain bad in a lot of ways. I've never been on board the M. Night is a bad writer, train. Bad writer could have never made," this mo that made, "the movie he has, but this is probably the best case for that argument. Entertaining enough. But I doubt," I'll wa, "I'll watch it again." That's a fair one.
Kat: Yeah.
Ryley: Half a star from Letterboxd. Mark well. "Mark, Wahlberg wearing a mood ring. Non ironically is one of the least absurd things about this movie."
Kat: And then when they get to explain it, I'm like, well, why is he wearing it? Why isn't she wearing it?
Ryley: Yeah. Because she doesn't love him.
Kat: Exactly.
Ryley: Yeah. This is a one [00:50:00] star. Mark Walnut. "Mark Walnut to an underage child never shown again in the movie: you know why you should be interested in science? Because you have a perfect face."
Kat: Marky mark and the crunchy bunch.
Ryley: Mark Walnut. That's the best one. I love it. One out of 10 stars from IMdB. "Shyamalan Blows It Again. The Happening was terrible. Definitely the worst of M. Night Shyamalan's movies. I kept shaking my head throughout the movie and thinking you blew it again. The acting was awful, Mark Wahlberg stars, there was no character development and virtually no plot, just lots of people running away from mysterious toxin that made people kill themselves in very gruesome ways. Even Lady in the Water was better than the happening. In fact, it was much better. I stuck with Shyamalan through thick and thin, but I'm getting tired of waiting for him to get back on track. I was hoping this movie would do it, but it's more like a complete derailment." So I, [00:51:00] I watched this movie. I tried watching Lady in water. I think that maybe's just plain, like nothing happens in it. It's not even like funny or quirky or odd. It.
Kat: Not redeeming really bad. Like it's, it's just, it's.
Ryley: Just bad. The last reviews, 10 out of 10 from IMdB. So we're gonna leave off on a good note.
Kat: Mm.
Ryley: They just went, "Wow. I was expecting this to be just an okay film, I was wrong, it was amazing. I loved every minute of it. It was realistic and had explanations that were logical and true proof. I loved the reality of it and the message that this film had. The acting was great and the casting was genius and each character was genuine and honest. It was creepy and, it was unpredictable. I think this is by far Shyamalan's best work. I found myself on the edge of my seat for things that didn't happen, then was caught off guard by something else. It was great. Finally the message. It has a great message in it about our relationship with earth. And it really makes you walk out of the theater, thinking hard about how [00:52:00] you live your life, or at least it should."
Kat: This sounds like they're writing this and they, it sounds like when you didn't read the assigned reading.
Ryley: Yeah.
Kat: And you have to make it seem like you did.
Ryley: Yep.
Kat: that's what this sounds like. It doesn't give any details.
Ryley: Because you always go positive. You always go positive. Because you're not gonna write that problem you don't know about.
Kat: It doesn't give any details about any of these things. It's just like, yeah... it was.
Ryley: It almost reads sarcastic to me. I almost feel like they're lying. I almost like, but there's no joke. There's no.
Kat: No.
Ryley: There's no reason why they would say that. Why they would lie.
Kat: It's just the absurdity of their statements.
Ryley: I just can't believe that there's a person out there walking around that the act genuinely believes this. I don't understand this.
Kat: It just seems like they were trying to get credit for the day .
Ryley: Wow. That's almost funnier than all the negative ones. This one right here.
Kat: Honestly, honestly, this movie is logical. [00:53:00]
Ryley: The acting was great and the casting was genius. No Uhuh.
Kat: Oh my God. That literally, it ju it. I all, I'm getting all I'm getting is I needed to get credit for today.
Ryley: Something.
Kat: Or else I wasn't, I wasn't gonna graduate if I didn't.
Ryley: This movie was someone's, it was them and the degree.
Kat: This is me in the Socratic seminar.
Ryley: I like that. They liked it. You know, why not?
Kat: Mm. mm-hmm
Ryley: what would you give this movie?
Kat: I think I'm gonna rate it higher than suburbicon. So I'm gonna say, I'm gonna give it a three out of 10.
Ryley: What did you give? Did you give it a two?
Kat: Yeah, I gave suburbicon at two. One, because it's entertaining.
Ryley: Mm-hmm.
Kat: At the very least. Two, because it's so stupid. I love it. Three. It kept me engaged, even though it was like nonsense. What about you?
Ryley: My like rating system is like going crazy. Cuz I wanna give it a 10 out of entertainment of l- laughing my ass off, but I know it's more preferably a [00:54:00] one of a movie.
Kat: Mm-hmm
Ryley: I'm just gonna give it a fun one.
Kat: Oh.
Ryley: And as my one star Marky Walnut, that's it. that's my one star. And like, this is a terrible movie, but it's so bad. It's good.
Kat: Okay. That's fair. Anything else you wanna say?
Ryley: No, I feel like we've we've uh, yeah, I feel like we, uh,
Kat: We got it.
Ryley: We got it.
Kat: If you have any feedback for us, or if you have any suggestions for movies or you have any complaints, you can reach us on Instagram at easy bake takes. Our DMS are open. We sometimes post clips of the show on TikTok also at easy bake takes. Also, if you like what you heard, give us a follow, give us a review, give us a rating wherever you get your podcast. It really helps us out a lot. And thank you so much for listening. My name's Kat.
Ryley: And I'm Ryley.
Kat: This has been Easy Bake Takes. Easy watching out there.
Ryley: Bye
Kat: bye.