Just Make Him a Cowboy (Eclipse Movie Review)

Kat and Ryley read the one-star reviews of the 3rd installment of the Twilight saga, Eclipse! They are pleasantly surprised by how much they enjoyed this one.

Review Overview: It would have been so easy to make Jasper a Wild West Cowboy.
Jacob has INCEL vibes in this one, and Edward has aggro frat-boy energy. Still confused as to why Jacob didn't stay with Bella during the big fight. He literally masks her scent.
This is the most interesting movie in the saga. Compared to the others, it is really well made. The silliness of these movies is so entertaining.
Kat: 4/5
Ryley: 4/5

kat 0:12

Hello and welcome to Easy Bake Takes, where we read the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. I'm Kat.

ryley 0:18

and I'm Ryley.

kat 0:19

This week we watched the third installment of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and if you don't know what Eclipse is about "danger once again surrounds Bella as a string of mysterious killings" terrorize "terrorizes Seattle and a malicious vampire continues her infernal quest for revenge. Amid tumult, Bella must choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob, knowing that her decision may ignite the long simmering feud between vampire and werewolf."

ryley 0:45

so many thoughts to say,

kat 0:48

Okay, we'll get to those in a second. So this movie was released in 2010. And it was directed by David Slade, who actually directed the movie Hard Candy.

ryley 0:58

Oh

kat 0:58

And the- Yeah. The Bandersnatch episode of Black Mirror and 30 Days of Night.

Oh, what's Bandersnatch? Which one is that? That's the interactive Black Mirror episode. The one where you like choose-

ryley 1:11

Oh. Okay, all right.

kat 1:12

Yeah.

ryley 1:13

Nice.

kat 1:13

And then, again, it was written- the script was written by Melissa Rosenberg. Obviously the novel was written by Stephenie Meyer. This one again, we have Kristen Stewart as Bella, Robert Pattinson as Edward, Taylor Lautner as Jacob Xavier Samuel is Riley the head of the newborns. Billy, Billy Borg- Billy Burke as Charlie. Bryce Dallas Howard replaced the last actress who played Victoria. And I'll get to why in a second.

ryley 1:39

I flipped out when I heard that.

kat 1:42

And then, you know, the the actors and actresses who play the Cullens and so on. Some fun facts about this movie. So David Slade took the time to interview each cast member individually, like a few times, just to discuss like their characters and the plot. And then the original actress that played Victoria, Rachel Lefavre, was replaced with Bryce Dallas Howard because she had scheduling conflicts. And originally Bryce Dallas Howard had rejected the role of Victoria in Twilight, because it was too small of a part, but took it back up for this one. And then the music for this one was done by Howard Shore, who did the score for the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which I think is cool. And I think it's really fitting because there's a lot of fighting in this one. They screened the first two on the lunar eclipse in 2010. This film has more of an emphasis on the Team Edward/Team Jacob aspect

ryley 2:34

Definitely.

kat 2:35

And it's a lot more favored by audience members than New Moon was and critics from what you'll see in a second. All the Cullens have flashbacks, but Alice doesn't get a flashback. So I looked up what her backstory is,

ryley 2:48

She was a flapper girl, right?

kat 2:50

No, maybe it's possible. It's possible she was. She was from Mississippi, and she had premonitions and so a lot of people in the town thought she was a witch. She had a premonition. Yeah, she made friends

ryley 3:01

I would've love to see that. That would have been great in this movie.

kat 3:04

She made friends with vampire doctor, who I'm assuming is Carlisle. But they didn't say in this thing that it was Carlisle. It shows vampire doctor. And then she had a vision about James. I don't- actually it wasn't Carlisle. Hold on. No, it wasn't. It was just another vampire doctor. And she had visions about James the one from the first movie that tried to kill Bella, and had visions that James was looking for her. And so her vampire friend turned her into a vampire and then sacrificed himself to James to get- to let her escape. And then she met Edward, not Edward, Jasper and then joined the Cullen family. They joined it together. And then the order of how- who joined when like when they joined the Cullen family doesn't mean when they became a vampire just means when they joined. Edward joined first. He was the first member of the Cullen family with Carlisle.

ryley 3:47

Okay

kat 3:47

And then Esme was found second, and then it was Rosalie and then Emmett. And then Jasper and Alice in like 1950. So Edward was in 1901, Jasper and Alice were the last in 1950. So in the first movie when he's like, Oh, Edward, not Edward, Jasper's new to not eating humans.

ryley 4:06

Yeah

kat 4:07

Like he's not he hasn't been eating a human blood since 1950. He's still getting used to it.

ryley 4:14

Okay, is it cuz like, in my head, just like really to me, it's like vague is like okay, so they joined the family in the 1950s. And like, they're all like vegan vampires left at Jasper was like, I joined the family but like, I'm not gonna do the whole vegan stuff and like has been going on his own. I don't think they would let him come into the family if he did that.

kat 4:32

Exactly.

ryley 4:33

So it doesn't make any sense.

kat 4:36

I think it was just a goof.

ryley 4:36

Yeah, doesn't make any sense.

kat 4:37

Honestly. What are your thoughts and opinions?

ryley 4:41

This one was so much better than new moon like this one was like actually like fun. So much more fun. I literally have a list of things I want to talk about.

kat 4:49

Wait is one of them whenever Jasper goes "battle scars."

ryley 4:56

Well, I want to talk about that with Jasper. He was definitely in the Confederate army. So my question is-

kat 5:03

He didn't see real battle in it though, but he was, but he was a major.

ryley 5:08

Yeah, but you still joined it you still join the values of what the Confederate army

kat 5:14

He was a major. He was a fucking major in the army.

ryley 5:17

I'm sorry. So you didn't see battle but you got you got high ranking, I call bullshit. His backstory could be literally anything. And it literally did not have to be anything even remotely related to that. Just make him a cowboy. Just make him a cowboy. Why does he have to be

kat 5:32

Literally. He could be from the wild west?

ryley 5:36

Like it- literally could- just make him a cowboy. And I don't understand why they didn't do that, so that's that's a big thing I wanted to bring up. Can I just like go through my list like because it's

kat 5:45

Go for it.

ryley 5:46

I wrote this as I was watching it. So opening scene there in that field, and I was like kissing and stuff I just got really bad secondhand embarrassment like I started like, covering my eyes because like I just couldn't know what was happening.

kat 5:57

Oh I skipped through that part.

ryley 5:58

I was like, it was secondhand embarrassment. I was like, I didn't see these as I was a kid or a teenager growing up so I can only imagine.

kat 6:06

Yeah

ryley 6:07

As like a kid going there with like a parent how uncomfortable that would be and also as a parent like going like my goodness, like this is a little much.

kat 6:18

There's a reason I wasn't allowed to see Breaking Dawn. Okay, let me just tell you.

ryley 6:23

Because this would get gets into it. The Mormonism from Stephanie Meyers really comes down with this one

kat 6:29

It really shows

ryley 6:30

It kind of really shows in this one. Yeah, so secondhand embarrasment, first scene, meadow. Oh, okay. There's a scene where a vampire breaks into Bella's house. She's not there, but, Charlie is and he's like, passed out on the couch. I thought the vampire like leans in to like, look at him. He like, oh, no, Charlie's gonna be eaten or something. I just thought he the vampire was gonna kiss Charlie. And he goes, Hey, kiddo. Something like that. I love that scene. It was really good. Okay, Jacob forced a kiss on Bella. She punched him and broke her hand. I just thought was a funny scene. But it's like awful that he's like, she's like, I don't love you. He goes, No, you do and then tries to kiss her. What a

kat 7:09

Do you know why though? Like, how do you know why he has those feelings for her?

ryley 7:13

Why?

kat 7:14

Oh, you'll find out in the next day because I'm not gonna spoil that for you. I'm not gonna spoil it for you.

ryley 7:17

I'm confused. What?

kat 7:19

You're gonna- you'll- you'll find out in the next two movies. I'm not gonna spoil that. I will- I will not be spoiling that for you. If you don't know. We'll get there.

ryley 7:27

He's got INCEL vibes. Okay. So after that scene- directly after the scene they drive back to our house, and Edward comes at Jacob, like, all like, like a coked out guy at a party kind of way. I just really loved that scene. It was really funny to see.

kat 7:39

That's the energy he has when Jacobs there all the time.

ryley 7:42

He doesn't give like a extremely strong vampire vibes, he gives out coked out boyfriend at a party.

kat 7:49

And the one who you- the one who you'd think would have that personality is Emmett and he doesn't

ryley 7:53

And he doesn't. Yeah. Rosalie's backstories like-

kat 7:57

the most intense

ryley 7:58

most intense, really fucked up one, but she has Kill Bill vibes, because she like kills him in a bride's costume. That's pretty awesome. I like that a lot. her backstory is pretty cool.

kat 8:07

Yeah, it made me love her character a lot.

ryley 8:09

Yeah, it- it gave me something about her because I didn't know anything about her from the last two movies. So, really glad they gave us that cool- Oh my god. Anna Kendrick going like, I was born to be a leader. Like it just made me hate her. Sorry, not her as a person just the character.

kat 8:24

Just the character. Why are you a side character in this movie then Jessica?

ryley 8:29

Okay, when he proposes to Bella, with that, the most disgusting engagement ring I've ever seen in my life. Austin said it looks like something from Pier One. Like they have a little jewelry section.

kat 8:41

It looks like those things where you put a quarter in, and it gives you the little little ball and you open it and it's in that.

ryley 8:48

nasty I hate I hate it so much.

kat 8:51

I personally don't want a traditional looking wedding ring for- I mean an engagement ring. But I don't want one that's giant and looks like a bug

ryley 9:01

Exactly. I don't want that's gonna say like, Karen vibes on it. Because like, that's the one it kinda gives me.

kat 9:07

That's a Karen ring.

ryley 9:08

Karen ring

kat 9:09

No offense, if that's a ring you want but just letting you know that's that's what I'm assuming about your ring.Okay.

ryley 9:14

I just gotta let you know I hate it. If that's the kind of ring you like, I don't like it. So you might want to rethink it.

kat 9:20

It's kind of like that thing where you're not allowed to tell someone that their newborns not cute.

ryley 9:24

Oh, yeah. It's like, I can't say like, Oh, its not my tastes. Like you can't say it.

kat 9:29

Yeah

ryley 9:29

You gotta say like, Oh, it's beautiful. You can't just you know, they're stuck with it forever. Or until the divorce

kat 9:36

But go on.

ryley 9:37

There's a moment. It's just a little moment, I saw like ever saying goodbye to Bella and he kisses her forehead but her hat is covering her forehead. So he's just kind of smooching on her little wool beanie for a minute and it just weirded me out. I'm like, that is-

kat 9:51

When Noah does that to me, he'll move to hat. He'll like lift it up.

ryley 9:54

Yeah, that would have been cute.

kat 9:56

and put it back

ryley 9:57

but he didn't. He just kind of made out with the wool hat for a second and went on his way. This is a really important one, this my second to last big note, Charlie and Alice flirted.

kat 10:07

I know I saw that too. I was like fuck fuck fuck

ryley 10:11

well, I did Bella. I was like, Are you like go to date like other women, or something like that. It's like, but he's all like don't be a stranger, Alice. I was like, oh, oh, okay.

kat 10:21

Yeah.

ryley 10:21

Which I kind of get because Alice is very, like, sweet and pretty. So I get it. And I love Charlie. I love Charlie. I think he's a great character.

kat 10:29

Yeah, Charlie's good.

ryley 10:30

I love Charlie. Last big thing, I am convinced everyone in this movie is wearing a wig.

kat 10:34

That is something I saw that in the reviews. One of the reviews literally just said wigs.

ryley 10:40

It looks like everyone's hairline is so fucked up. It's not natural. It's not human. And i know that's like the point. They're not technically human. It's still natural. It's not okay. It's not okay.

kat 10:53

Exactly. No, yeah, I definitely noticed that too.

ryley 10:56

And that was the last of my notes.

kat 10:59

I'll get into my thoughts then. I love a good flashback. So that's why this one's my favorite

ryley 11:03

Absolutely

kat 11:04

Because I love I love flashbacks in anything. Even if they're pointless. I love them. And then again, why are the Volturi dressed like that? They look like red eyed cult members.

ryley 11:14

They look like the weird kids at the mall that you would see and your mom would be like don't stare.

kat 11:19

They're not even fun Goths

ryley 11:20

Not even fun goths. They're just- they take it they they take themselves too seriously.

kat 11:24

They look like Newsies. Half of the ones look like Newsies, and then the other two looked like they were in a fucking cult because they're wearing black cloaks.

ryley 11:31

They took the time to do their eye makeup though. Which I think is so funny because they're always like, they're all like serious and like, like all in everyone's head, but like they did their eye makeup that morning and I just love I love that to me. That's like so funny to think of a vampire.

Yeah, that's probably why they were late to the fight.

No kidding. They showed up late to the slaughter that happened.

kat 11:51

And then the next one. Why the fuck didn't Jacob stay with Bella during the fight? Why did Edward stay? Because they've already established they can smell Bella but they can't smell her if, Edward- if Jacobs with her. You're putting her in danger by not letting just Jacob or just another wolf stay with her and staying there with her. Because he was like, Victoria cut my scent. And it's like, Yeah, no shit, idiot.

ryley 12:11

Yeah

kat 12:12

You did all that work. And I know it's plot like I know it's like a plot but like

ryley 12:17

it's not well thought out.

kat 12:18

It's stupidity.

ryley 12:19

It's dumb plot.

kat 12:21

And then the fucking staring contest that Jacob and Edward have whenever they're in the tent.

ryley 12:27

Oh my God that is the weirdest scene I've watched it a long time. He comes to the tent.

kat 12:34

I'm hotter than you.

ryley 12:38

As- I can only imagine the parent just going my god. Can we move on? And I just love how Taylor Lautner is 90% shirtless through this whole movie. If not in a muscle tank.

kat 12:50

I like that this movie has a little more of a sense of humor about itself. Because Edward whenever he's dropping her off to go with Jacob, he's like: Does he ever wear a shirt?

ryley 12:59

I love it. I love it. It's so funny. Oh, I love the point where Bella goes okay enough I'm Switzerland

kat 13:06

Yeah, yeah.

ryley 13:07

I love that one. That was great.

kat 13:09

Okay, I also wrote down I wrote down the Jasper being a Confederate soldier thing I've already said everything else and I just again when he has that like he says battle scars out of the side of his mouth and he's like battle scars

ryley 13:20

I didn't notice that the first time but yeah, now I'm going on right now

kat 13:26

battle scars

ryley 13:31

The old man came out of him at that point.

kat 13:34

I also didn't think the wolves looked that bad luck. When we get into the the reviews like people are like oh, the CGI is so bad and I'm like there are other movies that are a lot worse. This was pretty good for the time.

ryley 13:44

There- there were some running scenes where I'm like this is pretty bad but like the wolves themselves, I've seen worse, yeah, I've definitely seen worse.

kat 13:52

Literally.

ryley 13:52

They weren't they- like I've seen serious movies where they've had animals, and I'm like it doesn't it- like it doesn't look bad compared to those like it's it's it's really not that bad.

kat 14:03

Yeah, literally anything else you notice that you were wanting to talk about?

ryley 14:07

a lot of people say the, and I always, Dr. Carlisle, a lot people like crush on him. I don't get it. I don't get it. I'm Charlie- I'm Team Charlie all the way. There's team Jacob, there's team Edward, but there's team Charlie and team Carlisle. And I'm Team Charlie all the way. I'm sorry.

kat 14:22

I get it. But also I would pick- I like Charlie more.

ryley 14:25

I love Charlie way more.

kat 14:26

Because he's an actual dad, not a mob boss.

ryley 14:30

Exactly or like just, he's blond and pale. I'm like, okay.

kat 14:35

Yeah. Okay, so, we'll move on to the critical reviews of this movie. More positive than the ones who are new moon. So the first one that I found was from The Dispatch. It's written by Matthew Lucas in 2010. He gave it a two out of four. He was a college student at the time, like working as a correspondent for this news outlet or whatever. Lucas says that it's no different than the other two so far also called it "a elongated recap of New Moon." And, and that the characters just mope around.

ryley 15:04

That's not true.

kat 15:05

I don't think that's true.

ryley 15:06

That's not true at all. So much more happens in this movie the new moon.

kat 15:09

It's mostly them doing stuff

ryley 15:12

exactly

kat 15:13

This while movie and not Bella sitting in a chair.

ryley 15:16

No kidding and being sad.

kat 15:18

Yeah. Also that David Slade is the best out of the three directors, you know, that have directed Twilight movies so far, which I agree with. I think that he did the best job directing a Twilight movie. Luke is also mentioned that Eclipse is the most visually entertaining- interesting out of the movies. And Billy Burke is the best actor in this whole movies. Like the whole movie.

ryley 15:39

Okay, maybe. Maybe. I love Charlie. Oh, I love the actor. He's fine.

kat 15:44

He added that, like the rest are one dimensional in their acting, but I feel like they are actually- it's the whole movies like flashbacks of the characters.

ryley 15:52

Yeah, I mean.

kat 15:53

Some of them are becoming a lot less one dimensional-

ryley 15:56

Yeah

kat 15:56

With the added stuff. This critic said they read the first two books. So it's like they don't- they don't like- it doesn't seem like they hate Twilight as a franchise.

ryley 16:06

No it seems like they're interested enough.

kat 16:07

And then they end with the eclipse is the best of the three movies. But that quote, "that's almost like saying that being knee deep and bird excrement is better than being knee deep in rat excrement. Either way, you're still knee deep in manure." Which I think is a little dramatic.

ryley 16:23

I think that's really dramatic. Very, yeah. Real quick. Which one do you like more Eclipse or Twilight?

kat 16:30

I like Eclipse more than the first one a little bit. Just because I like flashbacks.

ryley 16:36

Okay.

kat 16:37

And like, I guess I've just seen the first movie too many times. And I haven't watched Eclipse as much as Twilight.

ryley 16:45

Okay, that makes sense, because I've only seen Twilight two times. So I still love the vibe of Twilight. So obviously, that's my favorite, but I love Eclipse.

kat 16:54

Okay, so moving on to the next one is from comingsoon.net and is written by Joshua Starnes in 2010 says that, "as good as Twilight is ever going to get the first two were plagued by pacing issues and artificial angst." David Slade is the perfect director for this film, and that he found the heart of the film, and that this film also perfectly captures a teen girls view of love. It's describing it as, quote, "immediate and forever, and so intense it threatens to destroy" the people who f- "the very people who feel it" end quote.

ryley 17:25

Wow, that's actually super true. That's actually very accurate. That's actually really accurate.

kat 17:30

With most teen media, if you like, just change your mindset of it to like, this is how it feels when you're a teenager and like, everything's way more intense, everything's so much more important than it actually is, then it makes more sense like it makes- it's a lot better done when you think of it that way. But that's not always the intention behind it. But I do think that that was the intention in the directing, at least

ryley 17:50

Right.

kat 17:51

Rosenberg and Slade both forced the audience into confronting the reality of like, the con- consequences of like making big life decisions at such a young age. And like, you know, making them before you have any experience to know like how to handle a situation. And they also do a good job of marrying the melodrama of the story with the plot and it creates like actual tension in the in the movie, the older actors, Nikki Reed, who plays Rosalie and Billy Burke, who plays Charlie do a good job with like helping boost the weaker dialog that's in here. And like there are a few scenes in this movie that are genuinely excellent scenes just in the grand scheme of like movies. And then Howard shores score of the movie matches the imagery of it really well. And it stops building and it starts making resolutions is that

ryley 18:39

because at this point, we there shouldn't be anything added on

kat 18:44

and then ends the review with quote, it's not a great piece of filmmaking, but it's competent and entertaining and one rarely silly, only rarely silly. And considering the whole the series has been in, that's quite a feat. I see like a lot nicer things to say about it. It truly is the best movie of the series so far, especially it just like with the acting, and the filmmaking and everything like I agree like I think I think it's great. Yeah, me too. It was a good one. And then the next review is from Sara's backstage pass and written by Sarah Knight Adamson who gave the movie a three out of four and 2010 Adams and said that the movie was enticing, and it made her want to relive her girly teen years

ryley 19:24

Yeah, that's kind of what these movies do. And it's like it's they do

kat 19:27

you just you want to be a teenager who thinks that if you aren't dating this person, you're gonna die like this

ryley 19:35

It's intense.

kat 19:37

Everything's more intense. Everything's so important. Like it's just yeah also says that this movie is even entertaining. For people who aren't diehard fans of the series. The main actors have enhanced their roles and give actual credible performances in this one. It's definitely motivated by the love triangle and jealousy. It's more comical and like she even mentioned the line doesn't he own a shirt?

ryley 19:58

I love that. That's hilarious.

kat 20:00

The also the action scenes weren't like too overdone and there was no overkill, the backstories of the flashbacks of the Cullen siblings, they thought it was cool. The newborn vampire villains were developed and given a lot of screen time. And then quote, "the bottom line Eclipse is a film for target audience and this one hits the bull's eye" end quote.

ryley 20:18

the action scenes. Yeah, they're not very, they're not gory, because like the vampires just turn to dust. And then the wolves like, they chomp people but there's no blood. There's no ripping up people. It's pretty, it's pretty. PG, PG 13. It gets hot and steamy at some point. And like, I was like, Oh, my gosh, is this the movie where they do it? I didn't know.

kat 20:40

I had to skip past the scene whenever they're- Bella is like sleeping over at the Cullen's house. And they're like, in- in the bed that he had bought just for her because she sleeps that whole thing. Like I know what happens in that scene where it's like, no, I don't want to have sex with you. Okay, marry me then. Okay.

ryley 20:57

Yeah, cuz like he's all like, I don't want to do it unless you marry me. And that's when the Mormonism comes out. A lot. Because like-

kat 21:04

yeah.

ryley 21:04

Cuz that's a whole thing. Like, I don't want to bite you that Charlie and Bella seen where they talked about it. It's weird. Like,

kat 21:09

Dad, I'm a virgin!

ryley 21:10

I'm virgin and he's like, Well,I like that Edward kid more.

kat 21:16

I feel like, when it's when it's coming from Charlie, it's like, oh, yeah, Dad doesn't want to know that his kids had sex.

ryley 21:22

It's real- like he brought up the he brought it up. So I don't understand.

kat 21:27

The last two reviews I have are from critics who I got reviews from for new moon. So the first one is from that website, Gone with the Twins and it's like the reviews are written by a pair of twins.

ryley 21:36

Oh, yeah, that one, okay.

kat 21:38

The Massie Twins. They gave this movie a four out of 10, which I think is dramatic.

ryley 21:42

A little dramatic, yeah.

kat 21:42

And they start with, "every Twilight film tells the same story over and over."

ryley 21:47

No, it doesn't.

kat 21:48

No,

ryley 21:48

It really does. It literally does not. If you literally watch the movies. Nothing the same happens in each one. It's very different.

kat 21:55

All of the movies are a storyline, so they're gonna have similar things going on. Because it's a continuation of the fucking story.

ryley 22:04

Exactly. But new stuff happens in it every time like Taylor Lautners barely in the first one.

kat 22:08

There weren't newborn vampires in the other ones

ryley 22:10

No kidding like it wasn't it- they're all different.

kat 22:13

They say the drama is more mature. But there are still like, they say that there's like so stupid little jokes. Yeah, it is. It's more mature of a movie than the other ones have been so far. The love triangles more interesting. The novels prevent otherworldly creatures from being prevent otherworldly creatures from being breathtaking. So like the way they were written in the novels, they could be cooler. They also say that the flashback period pieces are unconvincing, like the the I guess the costuming and everything's like not very convincing of the times that the flashbacks are to. But also, who cares?

ryley 22:47

I don't get that. That's the weak. They're just making up shit to critique like, how does that even make any sense? Like, it has to convince you that we're in the 1930s. Really?

kat 22:57

Yeah.

ryley 22:58

Okay.

kat 22:58

And then the last thing was the dialogue is still immature. The serious demeanor of the vampires is laughable and the CG bull wolves are bad.

ryley 23:06

They're fine. They're not bad. They're fine.

kat 23:09

I mean, the vampires are a little goofy.

ryley 23:11

They are

kat 23:12

I will laugh at them anytime at any time. But like the the wolves aren't that bad.

ryley 23:16

I've seen worse

kat 23:17

Okay? Like I've seen way worse. Our last critical review is from our favorite reviewer from the Independent Critic, Richard Propes. And he gives this a B minus. He believes that the new director, breathe- like breathed life into this movie. There's more action. It has better pacing. Everyone seems more energized and alive and more interesting. It's the best one so far, except for like Taylor Lautner's acting though he is a little bit better in this one. Says that, Kristen Stewart can act but Twilight has sabotaged her in a way that like, in the same way, he says "in the same way that the Star Wars films reduced Natalie Portman's acting to like robotic." You know I agree like it's it's definitely how people- when people think of Kristen Stewart a lot of the time they think of her acting in Twilight, but Propes believes that she is a good actor and has the ability to be a good actor. It's just these movies. Pattinson is also a better and this one as well. The supporting performances are also highlighted. Specifically Billy Burke's performance Anna Kendrick performance, and Jackson Rathbone who plays Jasper. Dakota Fanning's character on the other like on the flip side, some of the side characters aren't as good like Dakota Fanning's character comes off as this female sibling of the Lost Boys. And then Bryce Dallas Howard over acts a little bit too much as Victoria.

ryley 24:40

There's a scene where she's like, like hurt. She's like that. It's so funny.

kat 24:45

Yeah her fighting noises her fighting are not good. No.

ryley 24:49

They're not good. I love her. I love her but she's not I didn't even know it was her in this movie. Someone had to say that to me.

kat 24:57

He also says that you could blame Rosenberg's script, but Propes admits that her writing has always been a strength in the series. So he's kind of taken back what he's said before about Rosenber. The director slate is equally in touch with the tone of the script. Lautner is the only thing holding this film back and ends the review interview with quote, "Twilight Eclipse is the best of the three films and holds great promise but" the two "the final two films, the final book is being divided into two films, will manage to eclipse their predecessors" end quote.

ryley 25:29

I agree with a lot of what they said. And I agree that Taylor Lautner is probably not the most talented person in the room. But I still think he adds to the atmosphere of this I- I still love him in this movie. I love how he's like just mainly shirtless. I love how it's just so funny. It's just so funny. There's a point where he wears like khaki shorts. And there's a scene where he's carrying Bella up the mountain, and it's a far away distance shot from them. I thought he was naked at one point. I was like, why is he naked? Oh my god. I don't think he takes away anything from this film. I think his bad acting brings that comedy that silliness that Twilight is and that we love.

kat 26:07

Yeah, I agree.

ryley 26:09

And I love him in this movie. I don't. Yes, I agree. He's not the most talented person in the room. But that's okay.

kat 26:15

I definitely agree that he is not the most talented person in the room. But we'll move on to the audience reviews. I got a lot of them from letterboxd because people on letterboxd are hilarious. And most of the people that write reviews about Twilight were huge fans of it when it came out. And I respect their opinions on it. So the first one I have that's like a more positive one is from letterboxd and it's literally from February 3 of 2022 which is the day we're recording this.

ryley 26:41

Holy crap. Oh my god, they watched it today like me.

kat 26:47

So this this reviewer says "if Twilight has 1000 fans, I am one of them. If Twilight has 100 fans, I am one of them. If Twilight has one fan, I am the fan. If Twilight has no fans, I am no longer alive. If the world is against Twilight, I am against the world"

ryley 27:07

is that the whole review?

kat 27:08

Yes

ryley 27:09

Hands down the best review we have read that's fantastic I love it

kat 27:14

that's what's great i I love I love people

ryley 27:19

I love it it's

kat 27:20

not even a five star review that's a three and a half star review

ryley 27:27

They didn't give it five stars oh my god it's hilarious. I know I'm probably peaking but oh my god that's hilarious.

kat 27:34

It's okay.

ryley 27:36

They even- they didn't even give it a full five stars which I thought they did.

kat 27:39

So I got just a tiny a few of them like four reviews from IMDb because I'm just I'm really trying my hardest not to just read ones by misogynist assholes. So this first one from IMDb that's a negative review is a one out of 10 stars. It's titled "just an awful film," its from July of 2010. "I went into this movie open-minded hoping that I would enjoy the third installment much more than the second. I really enjoyed the first film and was highly disappointed in new moon. Eclipse in a nutshell is New Moon all freaking over again, plus a terrible villain. I was shocked by the story and acting in this garbage film. The whole story is a never ending cycle of Does she love Edward or does she loves Jacob and it gets very old. I really wanted to just take a nap in the theater so I could at least get a little bit of enjoyment out of this awful experience. Now for the acting. I could have had my five year old little sister play a better Volturi leader than Dakota Fanning. I seriously had to laugh at every scene the military were in because it was that bad. And I don't even want to get started on Taylor Lautner because if I do, I will be writing for days. He is by far the worst actor in a big budget movie I've ever seen period. For your own good, please do not waste your $10 and see this in theaters. Don't even rent it when it's out on DVD. I give this movie a one out of 10 at best."

ryley 28:57

So unfair. This movie is so much better than New Moon lit- It's literally so much more action. The new moon even remotely has.

kat 29:08

This movies so much better than the last two like in technical aspects in directing and acting like it's just so much better.

ryley 29:15

Exactly. Who gets sick of a love triangle. I live for love triangles. Oh my God. Who would get sick of that? Who's complaining about love triangles?

kat 29:24

You're worried about the drama?

ryley 29:26

you're- who gets bored of drama? You are a boring person. And you don't if you don't like drama you're boring I'm sorry. Yeah, that's coming from two Geminis sorry.

kat 29:37

Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, I just have to apologize in advance we're both Gemini we're very opinionated

ryley 29:43

because it's not gonna get better

kat 29:45

No it is not. I just- surprised that you know, this person you know actually liked the first move

ryley 29:53

Yeah

kat 29:54

And I understand their opinion on New Moon it's not

ryley 29:56

any complaints about New Moon I kinda get.

kat 29:57

nothing special.

ryley 29:58

Yeah.

kat 29:59

but like this Movies clearly nothing like New Moon

ryley 30:03

Eclipse is what you were waiting for. For Twilight. Twilight, we were just being introduced new moon. Still a lot of setup and that's why I'm gonna be so boring. Eclipse is where shit starts happening.

kat 30:13

This next one is from someone I went to film school with.

ryley 30:18

Oh

kat 30:19

He's really nice, his names Andrew. Sorry Andrew, I took your review on Eclipse. Its from 2021- November of 2021. And I just thought it was really funny, so I took it, it's from letterboxd.

ryley 30:30

Alright

kat 30:30

So "These vampires need hobbies, like Carlisle has the right idea of practicing medicine. All the others need to take up woodworking or gardening, or something."

ryley 30:39

I agree. I agree. They need they need some hobbies. No, I love that. That's hilarious. All right. So far. Good.

kat 30:49

Yes. Next one. We're back to IMDb for a second.

ryley 30:52

Okay, wait, wait, what did he get out of that? It was like a rating of some sort of

kat 30:55

three.

ryley 30:55

Okay, yeah. That's fair.

kat 30:57

So the next one's back to IMDb, one of the 10 It's titled "overall cheesy one line dialogue combined with bad acting." "I'm neither a fan nor a hater of Meyer's Twilight books, there might have been a way of making a good film adaptation of the books with a decent script and good actors. But Eclipse failed on both. It was truly painful embarrassing to watch. The dialogue consisted mostly of stilted superficial one liners, there wasn't any depth or credibility to the love story at all. Which brings up the point of bad acting. The main characters were extremely tedious and lacked personality and credibility, which is partly due to the poor script and dialogue but also due to the bad acting of the lead actors. They can't bring their characters to life or deliver their lines. Stewart looks emotionless and wooden so does Pattinson. At least he has the excuse that he is supposed to be dead. The film's focus is on the romance between Bella Edward and Jacob. Due to the poor script and bad acting, the whole thing comes across as emotionless and superficial" just as an addition of superficial events. "Just an addition of superficial events not recommended."

ryley 32:02

quick question, were they tried to blame, and I might miss heard this in some way, were they tried to blame the main actors bad acting for the other actors bad acting? Is that essentially what they were saying?

kat 32:14

I think they were saying that their point of the acting being bad was because of the lead actors being bad. Like not every single actor in this is bad. Like the side actors aren't bad. It's just the main characters.

ryley 32:26

Okay. I disagree with everything they said. So

kat 32:29

I- you know, I still don't like Edward as a love interest.

ryley 32:33

Oh, no, he's awful. Because like, I watched this with my boyfriend. And when he goes, when Edward goes to Bella, marry me. My boyfriend literally said, that's the worst way you could phrase that question. Because it's not like will you?

kat 32:46

it's not even a question, he's like marry me.

ryley 32:48

He's just stating it. I think that's such a great point. Because like, that tells you everything about his character. He's like, he's very, he's not a good guy.

kat 32:55

That just reminds me, I don't remember what celebrity it is. But they're wearing a shirt that says like, break up with your boyfriend. Or like dump him or like just like dump him or something. That's my- that's me the entire time to Bella like dump him, dump his ass. Leave your boyfriend.

ryley 33:10

Yeah. Okay. Don't go for Taylor though, because I don't think Taylor is any better.

kat 33:13

There were a lot of people, especially for new moon reviews that were like why is she choosing between Edward and Jacob when Alice is right there?

ryley 33:21

No kidding. No kidding. Absolutely.

kat 33:24

These next two are both IMDB. And then the rest are letterbox. So this one's a one out of 10. And it's from 2015. It's titled "help a fellow human." And here's it here it is. "Nope, nope, nope, nope. Oh, look, a nope movie. If you ever come across this movie, in your travels, do the world a favor, take it from where you found it said it gently on the ground, take a machine gun and unload around or two into it after you finished with that scoop up the remains, then transport those remains into the nearest fire. When there is nothing left but ashes sweep up those ashes and deposit them into a container of acid. Take the container of acid and traveled to the deepest body of water you can find and release the acid into the middle of it, then we can be assured it can't hurt anyone else. You can help all of your fellow humans by deciding to take these simple steps to avoid the pain and suffering. Thank you."

ryley 34:11

Do you know or really convinces me to watch a movie?

kat 34:16

Something like that?

ryley 34:17

When someone doesn't even describe why they don't like a movie, they just describe the insane psycho shit they would do to a piece of plastic- to a concept. They don't even mention the movie whatsoever if I didn't know what Eclipse was and then someone wrote this. I'm like, Well, I gotta watch. I gotta know what they're fucking talking about. Because they're not writing it in the review what the- why they don't like the movie. They just say they hate it.

kat 34:39

And three out of six people found this helpful.

ryley 34:41

Wow. That makes me scared.

kat 34:47

Okay, so the next one is a two out of 10. It's labeled "ABS versus drabs. The ABS or the drabs Bella pick one" its from 2010 By the way, this is a two out of 10 too I forgot to say that. Two out of 10 from 2010 "the abs are the drabs pick one Bella. Their problem is there is not enough story to go the distance. To stretch things out we get repetition and backstory way late. We get a graduation speech that says Bella is too young to make a career decision but she wrestles with the Forever decision. Talk to Dad, visit with mom and sit and talk, do a lot of Walk and Talk, be carried and talk. So much conversation. So quick epic battle. Robert Pattinson plays his role with all the emotion of a dead vampire. With the exception of Ashley Greene, the perky vampire, everyone is depressed. It's no fun to be human depressing to be a wolf and sucks to be a vampire, a total eclipse of a positive movie experience."

ryley 35:41

I guess if you wanted to state this way it was negative that's probably the right way to say it. But that was another thing that I thought of like in the series like during her graduation like I don't think Bella even says the word job or career in the franchise because that is absolutely that's not what on her mind. her job

kat 35:57

She has no ambitions

ryley 35:58

no ambitions for anything outside of drama and vampires in the woods. That's it. That's all Bella has.

kat 36:04

literally all she has. Yeah and go to the University of Alaska.

ryley 36:09

Exactly. Maybe for science. And that's all she says. She goes has a great science program and like for what can you define science what science part you want to do?

kat 36:20

All we know about her interest in science is from the first movie where she looks in a microscope and knows what's in there.

ryley 36:26

That's it. That's the only thing we have about her interest with science.

kat 36:30

Now we move on to the letterbox reviews. This one's a two star review from August of 2018. "When I saw this movie at the midnight premiere, there were Team Edward girls in the bathroom and they wouldn't let Team Jacob girls enter."

ryley 36:44

Do you ever like look back in history ago, like I wish I was there? I wish I was there.

kat 36:49

I do too. This next one, it's four stars. Some of these aren't low reviews, I just thought they were funny because it says people making funny commentary on the movies. So this was a four star review from January of 2018. And they said "what's up with the entire wolf pack wearing jorts?"

ryley 37:06

That's the whole thing. They all wear jeans to the knee shorts. Like it is the funniest damn thing. It looks like the least threatening gang you've ever seen. A bunch of people running around in jorts.

kat 37:21

Just to add to this thought, there's another four star review from February 3 of 2022 which is today that says "I just want to talk to the Anna Wintour of wearable fashion because who decided jorts was a good idea."

ryley 37:34

Okay, literally that scene where like Bella and Jacob are on the mountain kissing and they have- it shows that like really big shot, like it's a beautiful sunrise whatever shot. He's literally in cargo shorts and like tennis shoes like he's literally like dresses like a dad on a hiking trail it is the funniest. It is the like least hot thing I've ever seen a person wear.

kat 37:55

this next one is a two star review from 2010. Now we know from 2010 From February 2 of 2022, which was yesterday and they say "the Jacob vs Edward tribe hates each other but come together to protect Bella dynamic gave some more interesting momentum to this one. Although the reason for protecting her and risking so much are a bit loose. She's not the chosen one. They just love her? As we start this one with her and Ed already in love, it's a bit easier to swallow. We can just, if we imagine we haven't seen the previous films, imagine they've got a rich and deep history that built a solid foundation for love, which kind of compensates for their continual lack of flirting. Bella and Jacob" is harder "is still harder to believe but at least feels more like teenage awkwardness. The tribes of supporting characters still aren't that interesting and we get limited time with the likes of Seth, the Volturi, etcetera, who could inject some more interest into things as would a bit more high school life with Anna Kendrick, but it feels like they're just being trailed ahead of the next two films. The saga continues to feel episodic, although perhaps less than new moon. Anyway, the soundtrack remained good." Yeah, I guess like Edward and Bella makes more sense if you don't think about the rest of- the past of the relationship.

ryley 39:11

Yeah.

kat 39:12

In this one.

ryley 39:13

Yeah.

kat 39:13

You just forget, forget everything that the other movies have said about their relationship. You're like, oh, yeah, okay. Sure.

ryley 39:18

I don't know when you think about like what they've done. And like how he's treated her. And also he like he's barely in the last one. Yeah, that makes, yeah.

kat 39:26

this next one's two and a half star review from April of 2017. "If Edward really cared about Bella, he would have boiled himself like a lobster to warm her up."

ryley 39:38

That's the funniest damn thing. That's the funniest review. That's hilarious. Yeah, you don't let another man come into the tent and warm her up. It's that is the weirdest scene in a movie I've ever watched. It is hilarious.

kat 39:54

Oh, yeah. Okay, so this next one is- they didn't give it any stars. This is just a review from September of 2020. That says "every day I think about Robert Pattinson saying in an interview that he thinks Stephenie Meyer is mentally unstable."

ryley 40:09

Did he really say that?

kat 40:10

Basically

ryley 40:11

That is hilarious. Oh my God. He said a lot about the Twilight series, so I'm not I'm not totally surprised.

kat 40:17

Yeah.

ryley 40:18

And he, he's pretty open minded. Like he not open minded. He is pretty

kat 40:22

opinionated.

ryley 40:24

opinionated.

kat 40:25

This next one is a start a half. It's from March of 2020. So this person was like, I'm in lockdown. I'm rewatching all of the Twilight films.

ryley 40:32

Which I understand. I'm right there with you.

kat 40:34

Let's see. This one says, "I can't believe when Stephanie was writing the Twilight trilogy. She stopped at the beginning of the third book and said, Wait, I need to squeeze in more love triangle. Thus eclipse was born. These are all facts. She told me herself.

ryley 40:46

All right. I believe this first- person.

kat 40:48

I believe you

ryley 40:49

I fully believe

kat 40:49

I believe that Stephenie Meyer said that to you.

ryley 40:51

I believe you know her if she spoke to this about you.

kat 40:54

This next one is a five star review, but I think it's another one of those where it's like they love this movie and they love the series, but they know what's wrong with it. This is from January of 2022. "Worst Edward he's so manipulative and Loki abusive. Why does he disassemble her car battery so she can visit her best friend? Like Edward I love you so much. But you're actually the worst in this movie can't support you thank God for breaking dawn Edward."

ryley 41:22

That's funny. Which, I you know, I get it. Yeah, yeah. Okay,

kat 41:26

so the last one I have is a positive review from letterbox five stars from January of 22 as well. "Best Overall movie of the series I think. Just as a movie it has everything it needs romance, action, angst, just 10 out of 10" and we "and we got background into the characters I still wish that we got a background scene for Alice though."

ryley 41:47

Okay, I love this review. Totally agree with it. Even the last part.

kat 41:52

Alice is so involved with like taking care of everything that's happening and like being there for Bella. She deserves to have a little bit more of background information

ryley 42:03

Well they get two, especially to Jasper her partner. So I don't understand why I Alice didn't get one.

kat 42:09

also Emmetts backstory is that he got mauled by a bear while out hunting and Rosalie saved him and carried him all the way all- carried him all the way to Carlisle

ryley 42:21

oh my goodness.

kat 42:22

Yeah

ryley 42:23

Was this- Do you know what year?

kat 42:25

That was in 1935 so she had to carry him

ryley 42:28

she was, okay, but she was a vampire at that time so she had powers to help out but still

kat 42:34

she's a bad bitch. Okay, Rosalie is great. That's all I have for a clips from the audience reviews. Did they change your opinion at all? Or like add anything to your opinion of this movie?

ryley 42:43

No. It is so much better than New Moon. Way different. It's- we're starting to like speed up with like the story that's about to happen. Very excited for the Breaking Dawns. Love this one. Love the details of this one.

kat 42:57

I'm also excited for you to watch Breaking Dawn.

ryley 42:59

Me too, because I haven't I haven't seen. I never seen a Eclipse so I wasn't ready for Eclipse. And now I haven't seen Breaking. I haven't seen Breaking Dawn. I saw the second one in theaters. I hardly remember though, so.

kat 43:10

Just keep this line in your head. Okay.

ryley 43:12

Okay.

kat 43:13

Keep the line the Bella says to Jacob 'till my heart stops beating' in your head. Okay, we'll come back to it. And the next one.

ryley 43:19

Oh, I'm gonna write that down.

kat 43:21

Yeah, my opinion hasn't changed either. I like Twilight. I think if I were to actually go and rank them, I would still put Twilight as number one because it's the first one but I enjoy watching Eclipse more. I just think it's the most interesting. It's also really well done, like comparatively. I enjoy that people who love these films love making fun of them. That's my favorite thing. I like pointing out the little stupid shit.

Exactly.

What would you give Eclipse out of five?

ryley 43:45

I would honestly rate it like four out of five. It was like really good. Twilight is a four out of five, Eclipse for about five. They're both really good.

kat 43:52

I think in the grand scheme of all movies, four out of five but in the Twilight series five out of five.

ryley 43:57

I get that.

kat 43:58

Take what you've heard from us and the critics and the audience members, watch Eclipse, watch all of them, seriously. But watch Eclipse, Eclipse is very interesting. You know, let us know what you think. Let us know all those silly little stuff that you you find.

ryley 44:12

There's a ton of silly stuff in this movie.

kat 44:14

Yeah.

ryley 44:14

Tell us.

kat 44:15

Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for listening. This has been Easy Bake Takes I'm Kat.

ryley 44:20

and I'm Ryley

kat 44:21

Easy watching out there.

ryley 44:22

Bye

kat 44:23

bye.