Imprinting (Breaking Dawn Part 1 Review)
Breaking Dawn Part 1 Review is here!
Review Overview: Needed more Alice and Charlie.
Kind of a bummer compared to the first three movies. The acting got worse. It felt like the work David Slade did for Eclipse was undone by Bill Condon. The other movies were redeeming ridiculous. This just wasn't at the same level.
It's the shortest movie of the saga up to this point, but it felt too long. It felt like 2 hours of filler. Breaking Dawn really should have been just one movie.
We understand why fans of the books might like this movie more than we did, but it just wasn't for us.
kat 0:15
Hello and welcome to Easy Bake Takes. My name is Kat.
ryley 0:18
And I'm Ryley
kat 0:20
And we are almost done with the Twilight Saga, we've made it to Breaking Dawn Part One
ryley 0:26
week four of this which is crazy
kat 0:28
Week four. Really doing it really in there. Okay, take it away Ryley, tell me everything about Breaking Dawn Part One
ryley 0:35
The storyline is "Bella and Edward celebrate their wedding but after their honeymoon on Isle Esme, things take a turn for the worse when Bella realizes she's pregnant. As the baby grows at an abnormally fast rate and causes many health problems to Bella, Edward and the Wolfpack fear that she may give birth to an immortal child. The Cullens will do everything they can to ensure that both Bella and the unborn child remain safe." What did you think of this movie?
kat 0:59
So the first thing I'd like to say is Bella's highschool friends at the wedding were my favorite part. Just Jessica being like, no one gets married at 18 If they're not pregnant, Which I think it's hilarious. And then the other thing was her speech that- Jessica;s because speech that she givesm where she's like,
she's not even like the captain of the volleyball team or anything. Like what he chose Bella. It's like, wow, you're the worst.
ryley 1:25
You are a bad friend
kat 1:27
You really are. But then they make fun of her cake. They're just like, well, the fuck is her or something they like they don't make fun of her cake, but they're like standing around the cake. They're like judging her wedding, which I just think is funny. It just seems like maybe they shouldn't have been invited to the wedding because she hasn't really been a friend to them in a very long time
ryley 1:43
they don't ever hang out like they hang out in the first two, and that's about it.
kat 1:47
Yeah
ryley 1:48
They're not- they're not in the like, they don't, they're not friends.
kat 1:51
That's the thing too, like Bella doesn't really have friends. So those are the only ones she could invite that weren't related to her.
ryley 1:57
It's kind of sad.
kat 1:58
It is very sad. The other thing was Alice and Charlie speech I liked their speeches. Charlie was just like, I will hunt you down in kill you if you hurt my daughter, which I think is funny. It's like they could kill you sir. But I appreciate the energy
ryley 2:12
a father's love can kill.
kat 2:16
After Jacob finds out that Bella is pregnant and he turns into he's like running home he turns into a wolf and he lets out the softest a-woo.
ryley 2:25
Awooo
kat 2:27
Their howls, why did they make them so soft and quiet? When all the wolves are like there's like, awooo
ryley 2:36
they get the critics I picked get into the CGI in this movie, so.
kat 2:41
but I'm I'm just like
ryley 2:44
yeah
kat 2:44
the sound of these things.
ryley 2:45
Yeah
kat 2:46
they chose to pick them going. Awooo. And then whenever he gets there, and is talking to all the other wolves, they sound like they're about like, why did they the wolves should never talk again. Like they should not talk while they're in wolf form at all. Like I know they're like, talking to each other from their minds. But the way the dialogue sounds, it sounds like they're about to break into song. Like while they're talking to each other and they're like, We should kill Bella. And like that just sounds like where it's going. It's just
ryley 3:18
God
kat 3:19
it just sounds so cheesy. And then the acting in this one. It just got worse. It just got fucking worse everyone- any progress that anyone had made, they were just whatever we're doing this now it's whatever we're just gonna say fuck it. And then the last thing I thought was just really fucking funny. And just the way they did it was really awkward. But it was funny- was whenever Jacobs throws the bowl of food at Rosalie's head everyone just starts laughing at her and she's like, you ruined my hair that's it and yeah, that's all I have written down.
ryley 4:01
That's majority those movies like just I don't know, there's a lot of weird parts in this movie too. This is probably one of my least favorites of the franchise. Like this is this was pretty it was boring. And
kat 4:14
oh yeah
ryley 4:15
What's interesting about this one is the shortest so far, but it felt the longest like it felt longer than New Moon.
kat 4:22
Yeah, and I'm just gonna do- It does drag. I'm just gonna do a tiny bit of comparing of this movie this part one finale movie, to part one of Deathly Hallows. Deathly Hallows Part One so- super interesting. Don't make the part one a filler movie.
ryley 4:39
Yeah
kat 4:40
Don't make it two hours of filler when you could very clearly have turned to this into one movie. And I know that it's just a cash grab thing to make it two parts. I get that.
ryley 4:51
A lot of people said that. Yeah.
kat 4:53
Breaking Dawn Part One doesn't make me want to go watch Breaking Dawn Part Two. And you know, that part that I told you to remember? Are where she's like, until my heart starts beating. Yeah, her heart stops beating and then the baby is born and that's who he's in love with the fucking child
ryley 5:10
That's gross
kat 5:10
They try to- they try to turn it into like, oh, he just he's not in love with her, he just wants to protect her and it's like, no, you're making it weird. You made it weird.
ryley 5:18
You made it weird. Well, when you- when you're saying imprinting, and they use that language as in falling in love with someone.
kat 5:25
Yeah, and all the examples
ryley 5:27
Yeah. And they show you all the examples so it's kind of weird when you tried to flip that and go oh, no, he just wants to protect her. Well, why does he want to protect her? Why is he here?
kat 5:34
Another thing babies are made up of two things. Okay. Egg and sperm so that means he should have been obsessed with Edward too
ryley 5:41
Yeah, it's, oh someone on, and I didn't include this one, but someone on letterbox was like this was a New Age movie, Edward, Bella and Jacob would be a throuple.
kat 5:50
Yes, they totally would. They would be a fucking throuple.
ryley 5:54
Yeah
kat 5:54
and it would have been fantastic and I would've liked it so much more.
ryley 5:59
Overall, I thought this movie was super boring. I thought it was- it was just- and it was just weird. It was just- it had a lot of weird moments.
kat 6:06
Did you have any other background information? Or are we just jumping right in? Because I'm assuming all the actors in this one have been in the other ones?
ryley 6:13
Yeah. I want to mention the director real quick because the director
kat 6:16
Another new one.
ryley 6:16
Yeah, it's another new one. It's not David Splade, which is disappointing. It's Bill Condon. He's known for directing the newest Beauty and the Beast, Dream Girls and Kinzie. The writers are the same. Melissa Rosenberg as the screenplay writer, Stephenie Meyer wrote the books. Same same casts no one's new.
kat 6:34
Yeah
ryley 6:35
resume renesme. Renesme-whatever her name is. There's one thing, so like Edwards past is brought up randomly at the beginning and how he's ashamed of him. Like why why is this now being brought up and also doesn't matter?
kat 6:50
You were killing murderers. Okay, like, why is that? Why does? That's cool. Like, I feel like they should have mentioned that at the beginning. And I could have gotten on board with you as a person a little bit more, sir.
ryley 7:01
Yeah,
kat 7:02
But like, now? I don't care.
ryley 7:04
I just felt it was such an odd place to mention that like in this movie, too. Like if you're gonna mention that mentioned it when she finds out you're a vampire. I don't know. I think it's weird.
kat 7:13
Maybe they felt that his character needed a redemption. Like maybe Stephenie Meyer when she was writing the books was like, let's redeem him just a tiny bit.
ryley 7:22
But it was released in 2011. And these movies came back to back to back it's crazy how fast these movies came out. It's the fourth film and Twilight saga. The runtime is an hour 57 minutes which is the short one so far.
kat 7:35
Yeah
ryley 7:36
So we'll see what Breaking Dawn Part Two how long that is. So fun fact about the movie. Robert Patterson took a boat driving lesson so he'd be able to drive the boat in the honeymoon scenes. But- But despite taking lessons he crushed the boat in both the lessons and while filming in Brazil which I think is so on, so on point for that, man.
kat 7:56
Yeah
ryley 7:57
Very important for that man to now be able to drive a boat after taking lessons, just crashing them. Thre- what sounds like three different times. Both lessons and then filming in Brazil, so.
kat 8:08
brother, you just want to drive the boat straight.
ryley 8:11
How do you crash a boat? How do you do that?
kat 8:15
and they're- where they're driving it-
ryley 8:17
It's open water.
kat 8:19
Is that why they only drive it for like five seconds?
ryley 8:21
Yeah. And like the big ocean open water? I don't I don't know.
kat 8:25
He had to pull it out. Like he had to like pull it out from the dock into the ocean.
ryley 8:29
Yeah
kat 8:30
or whatever. So maybe he crushed it there. And I'm assuming that it was probably that short because he crushed the boat
ryley 8:36
God, that's funny. So let's jump into the critics. I have my first article here. It's a review by Debbie Lin. She starts by saying "parts of this sparkle like the luminous skin of the Cullen clan. Other parts buy into you and hold your attention like the wearables take a bite out their favorite dinner, and then other aspects are more lifeless in the Bella Swan. After giving birth." Debbie talks about how she thinks the director Bill Condon doesn't completely understand the Twilight universe therefore the movie doesn't match up with the richness richness of the book.
kat 9:09
I didn't read the book
ryley 9:10
Yeah, I don't know anything about the books but like
kat 9:12
Based on the last movies
ryley 9:14
Just from the fans to their like it doesn't it's not as good as the book at all. Debbie says "I still maintain as I always do read the book, it's always better," so there you go. She thought Kristen Stewart's performance was good but was unimpressed with Robert Pattinson's. She says "Robert Pattinson's dialogue delivery is flat and insincere. Is he tired of the roll or is Condon's direction that poor?" Which I'm gonna- I'm gonna say both because I know he didn't like playing Edward. I'm gonna say Condon. This is I'm sorry this movie was bad. So I'm gonna blame the director a little bit too
kat 9:44
well yeah, because he his acting in Eclipse wasn't terrible.
ryley 9:47
No like, you know, I I really don't have an issue with his acting. It's just like if someone did I can see why I can I know the reasons why she did love Taylor's performance though and she thinks he has the potential We'll be leading man one day.
kat 10:02
Wrong
ryley 10:02
okay, this was written back when it came out.
kat 10:04
I don't think he's shown any growth in his acting abilities in this one. I think he just had less to say.
ryley 10:11
He- he had a- I feel like he did have more.
kat 10:14
This is how I'm looking at it right now, in this moment. I think his character had different emotions that he had to portray in this one.
ryley 10:24
Yes.
kat 10:24
And I think they were closer to his abilities.
ryley 10:26
She praised other supporting roles, like Billy Burke is Charlie. She praises him and then Ashley Greene. Everyone loves Billy Burke and Ashley Greene in these movies. There's not a critic out there who will not mention them. Like, it's fantastic. I love it. Debbie was not impressed with the screenplay. She knows the book is rich in dialogue and detail and calls the screenplay hokey, and this is my personal I thought the whole honeymoon scene. They're playing chess.
kat 10:51
Something that got me with the whole honeymoon thing that I forgot to mention earlier. Was like all of a sudden, Edwards like, oh, we could have been having sex this whole time. Are you kidding me? So is this Stephenie Meyer going? So I don't hate sex, okay. I just hate sex outside of marriage.
ryley 11:07
Yeah, it's very silly and like
kat 11:09
It is
ryley 11:10
The music and it's like, really weird to like, it's this little corny. It's hokey.
kat 11:15
It doesn't capture the mellow dramatic energy that the other ones do. It's like trying to be I don't know, I feel like it's trying to compete with like, dramas meant for adults, and it's not doing a good job at it.
ryley 11:27
Exactly. I feel like if this if these movies aren't playing Bon Iver in their background songs. They're doing it wrong.
kat 11:33
Yeah, that's not what this shit whatever's in the soundtrack for this one, that's not what the teens want.
ryley 11:39
No
kat 11:39
We want our fucking Bon Iver and Muse. Okay.
ryley 11:45
Exactly. She does praise the overall wedding scene, "the director delivers in space with aesthetic cinematography, lensing, set design and editing." So she appreciates the wedding scene, which I do, too. It's a very pretty wedding. I love all the flowers.
kat 11:59
I think once they the wedding ends, the movie starts getting bad.
ryley 12:04
Honestly. Yes. Because like after they after, it's actually at the wedding reception. Like it's like, it just gets corny. And like, everyone gets like bad speeches. It's just like, really funny.
kat 12:15
Another thing, sorry to add these in the middle of-
ryley 12:17
No, you're fine
kat 12:18
-going through the critics. I don't know. Like something about Jacobs character in this one. I understand that. He's like, maybe 17 or 18 at this point. But like his character is so all over the place. Because of the beginning. He's like, angry. And then he goes to the wedding. And he's fine.
ryley 12:36
Yeah.
And him and Bella, just talk to each other like they're fine. And then it goes back to angry and then he's fine. And then he's angry and then he's fine. And it just like the way they do it doesn't make any sense.
I don't get it. I get confused with his character. I'm like, What is he talking about now? Why is he angry? Now? It's I don't know. I don't know why Bella gives him the time of day to like, why are you
kat 12:55
Slow dancing with this dude at your wedding?
ryley 12:57
That's so that was such a weird scene. And he just kind of leaves them. I'm like, what?
kat 13:02
And like, you're- you've been trying, Bella, talking to Bella directly. You've been trying this entire franchise to let Jacob know you don't want him and he has no chance. Yet, you're dancing with him at your wedding. You're still sending this boy mixed signals.
ryley 13:18
Yeah, that's not nice.
kat 13:19
And he's a fucking incel weirdo, still, like this movie just heightens it even more and I'm just like, Get out of there.
ryley 13:26
This movie really like- I'm realizing like we tolerated this stuff with the last few ones.
kat 13:33
Enjoyed it even.
ryley 13:33
Enjoyed it. We're getting to the point with this one. We're like, okay, let's start putting stuff together because the it's getting old. It's kind of getting old.
kat 13:41
You're not getting away with this shit for any longer.
ryley 13:43
No, no, it needs to change stuff needs to change.
kat 13:46
The first three were perfect.
ryley 13:48
Yeah
kat 13:49
This one is just thrown away trash that they just said they'll watch anything.
Yeah
And no, you're wrong. I won't just watch anything.
ryley 13:59
I did but I won't again. Because I didn't know like it
kat 14:02
You betrayed my trust
ryley 14:05
I don't know if the second one is going to be any good. I'm worried. I'm scared.
kat 14:08
Yeah. And we see more of creepy CGI baby so
ryley 14:12
I am not looking forward to that
kat 14:14
Yeah, last thing about the wedding. Why were they having their ceremony on a fucking very sunny day?
ryley 14:21
Oh, that's yes. And also they forgot completely forgot about the sparkle thing in this movie with the sun.
kat 14:27
Yeah
ryley 14:27
Because they're literally on a beach.
kat 14:29
He tiny bit does it
ryley 14:30
I didn't see it
kat 14:31
Whenever his shoulder- because it's like hitting the sun but anywhere else, it's like, oh, okay, so they don't sparkle anymore?
ryley 14:40
I guess Bill was like I'm going on different. I'm going in a new direction with it.
kat 14:45
No more sparkles
ryley 14:46
No more sparkles. Vampires can be in the sun now. That's fine.
kat 14:50
Whatever.
ryley 14:50
Debbie says that, "although the wedding scene will make Twilight fans happy to see the movie has too many failures and shortcomings." Her last words for this are "the fans, the story and the twilight franchise deserve better." And I agree. I absolutely agree with them
kat 15:05
also, okay, hold the phone because this might just be a story problem that I have with Miss Meyer. Why at the last second is Bella like, you know what, I don't want to be a vampire anymore. Maybe we don't have to do this right away. And it's like you've been pushing this entire series to be like, turn me now, turn me right now, like, right fucking now turn me, now. And then all of a sudden she's like, 'Oh, well, we jumped off of a cliff and I remembered that I like being human sometimes.'
ryley 15:36
She's, uh, she's very I find her character and very annoying because like,
kat 15:39
yeah
ryley 15:40
Like, Alice is like planning the wedding. And she's going it's a little much. I'm like, fuck you like she's planning your wedding for you. You can say thank you. Let her do that. She wants to do it.
kat 15:51
She could've warn flats to her wedding shouldn't have to wear heels.
ryley 15:53
She did not have to wear heels. I actually thought she wore Converse at a wedding. I don't know why it must have just been that era where you know, it was cool to wear converse with dresses.
kat 16:04
I don't think in the maybe in the book. I also blame Demi Lovato for the "who says, I can't wear my Converse."
ryley 16:12
I must have just like, confused that with this. I'm thinking this could show up in some cool Converse.
kat 16:17
Similar era similar vibe. It's all around the same thing. It all makes this together.
ryley 16:22
My next article, and I feel like we've read so many of his articles. It's like wrong to leave them out. So I brought up Richard Propes
kat 16:29
Richard Propes!
ryley 16:30
Richard props from the Independent Critic. He wrote a review about Breaking Dawn. He's seen all of them. He's like, talking about an experience where he's walking to the movie theater, and he overhears a group of like, young women going to go see it. And one of them goes, I've been waiting all I've been waiting for this all year. This is going to be the best night in my life. And he's kind of annoyed by it. But like, leave her alone. She wants to she excited about the movie.
kat 16:54
Richard, you're better than that.
ryley 16:56
I hadn't been excited about a movie like that in a long time. So I envy that. Richard goes on to say "if you're a proud member of the Team Edward/Team Jacob or simply Team Twilight, then there seems to be a pretty darn good chance" that this "that this first of two films is aimed squarely at you and you're going to whip yourself into a orgasmic frenzy of vampiric delight, regardless of what any silly old film critic says." I just love his wording I just love how creative he gets.
kat 17:22
Me to like and it's not the way- whenever he does it, it's not like pretentious like some of the other ones. It
ryley 17:28
It's witty!
kat 17:28
Like he enjoys he enjoys writing.
ryley 17:31
Yeah, exactly
kat 17:32
He just likes- he likes writing.
ryley 17:33
Richard says he's not aTwilight hater and mentions how he gave Eclipse a decent review and praises David Slade's directing for it. He did give it a pretty decent review. He expresses how disappointed he is in this film and describes it as "an overly long, overwrought and wildly uneven film that is likely only to truly please the most hardcore Twilight fans." That I agree hardcore Twilight fans, they're probably love it. But I don't know if they read the books. I don't know. I feel like a lot of different people will either hate this movie or like this movie. I feel like if you've read the books, you're probably not gonna like this movie.
kat 18:06
If we just throw it back for a second to when my sister gave me her ranking of Twilight movies. The Breaking Dawn movies were at the end of her ranking. They don't they don't do it. They don't bring the magic.
ryley 18:17
He says "because we have a lot of time to kill" to turn "To turn this into a full length feature film, the build up to the wedding is drawn out to at least 20-30 minutes with ample amounts of Edward feeling guilty, Bella looking nervous, Jacob racing off into werewolf fueled rages and absolutely zero in the way of tension being built up." Everything drags. So everything that's about to come up the wedding, the honeymoon, the pregnancy, the birth, they're all drageed out. Because that's four things but this is a two hour film.
They're on that honeymoon for way too long.
Way too long. He says "another half is devoted to the honeymoon, where it's a lot of back and forth from Edward and Bella." Then he says Bella ends up pregnant. He says the other toilet movies have "visually compelling poetic journeys." This one lacks app because the Bill Condon he says "Bill lacks confidence in his and his direction. He lacks the fluidity and most mystical quality that previous Twilight films have captured." Richard talks about how that this movie had a budget of a $110 million budget which is huge compared to the clips which had a $68 million budget. However, "this movie doesn't show any higher standard with the budget and claims flashbacks and dream sequences are amateurish and have old school special effects." It's pretty bad. It's not good.
It really is not
David Slade would have done a better job.
kat 19:32
But also as a director, he took the time- David Slade took the time to sit down with each and every one of the main characters and actually talk to them and like talk through the story- storyline with them. But I feel like David, what is it? What is it not David? Will Bill
ryley 19:51
Bill Condon. Yeah.
kat 19:52
Bill Condon didn't. It feels like he didn't do that. Like he didn't take the time to get to know the actors and their characters. He just kinda was like, I'll read the script and we can go.
ryley 20:03
Yeah. Richard talks about how Bella is a lovestruck teenager, determined to die for love. He says, "while I've heard time and again that young women are swept up in this as true love, it's hard to wonder how quote I have to die for love is a true love message. It sounds like domestic violence to me," that said, yeah, "that said, Stewart remains one of the true standouts of the Twilight series." And we- I'm sure we've talked about this before is like very much so it's very toxic.
kat 20:33
Just make sure you're reassuring the young people or impressionable people in your life that they don't deserve to be treated this way. And that's not what love should be and whatnot. And I think it stands throughout the entire series where you're just having to be like, Okay, no.
ryley 20:50
yeah.
kat 20:50
That's, that's not healthy.
ryley 20:52
That's wrong.
kat 20:52
Stephanie.
ryley 20:53
That's bad.
kat 20:54
Stephanie
ryley 20:56
Taylor Lautner, "he came so close in the last film, to showing an emotion" that I allowed myself "that I allowed myself false hope that he'd finally stretch and become the rubric grant of Twilight, at least make a bit of a name for himself. All Lautner does here, however, is grimace and growl and if my memory serves me, well, he actually only takes his shirt off one to two times." Richard mentions Billy Burke's performance, "Billy Burke has always added an emotional depth to the film's that they sorely needed and his scenes early in the Breaking Dawn are both funny and remarkably touching." There is not a film critic out there who hates Billy Burke in the Twilight series. They love Billy Burke.
He's amazing.
He's so fantastic. Richard ends his article by telling Twilight fans that "if they've been along for the ride, then go ahead and see it you'll probably like it. But if you're not a fan, don't bother."
kat 21:44
We can all just end at Eclipse and we have the knowledge that they have a baby they- Bella gets- they get married. That Bella is a vampire now. That's all you need to know.
ryley 21:57
Right?
kat 21:57
Really.
ryley 21:58
Exactly
kat 21:59
Like It's like New Moon you could skip that one.
ryley 22:01
Exactly. Yeah.
kat 22:02
Where'd they put this budget. Where the fuck are they putting this $110 million budget.
ryley 22:08
That's where I'm wondering where did the money go? Where did that money go to?
kat 22:12
Was it the honeymoon? Like, is that we're all about money went?
ryley 22:14
I'm guessing that's what. It was Robert Pattinson's Boating-boating lessons and paying for the boats he crashed. That's why.
kat 22:21
That's all it was. It was just paying back the insurance for the boats that Robert Pattinson crashed. They used it nowhere else.
ryley 22:32
I couldn't tell you where else they used
kat 22:34
Those animated scenes inside of Bella when she had
ryley 22:38
Yeah, those and like her like how they did her makeup or they did the CGI to make her look. The whole birthing scene is really scary. I hate the birth scene, the birth scene like I was like, ew. And now we can move on to some really good ones by different people. This is a five star one from a year ago on Rotten Tomatoes. They write, "absolutely great. I've watched his entire set over and over. More than any movie I've ever watched."
kat 23:03
This was your favorite one out of all of them? Over Eclipse?
ryley 23:06
I just don't get that. I just I mean, I'm glad you liked it. But-
kat 23:10
Good for you.
ryley 23:11
Good for you, I guess. This is a three star one from Rotten Tomatoes. This was January 16, 2022, so not that long ago. "This one is surely the worst of the series, though it mostly earns his distinction in the same way that part one Deathly Hallows was the worst of the Harry Potter movies." Not true.
kat 23:28
That's a lie.
ryley 23:29
It's a lie. "They save the real climax for an entirely separate movie, leaving this one to feel like a collection of rising actions and exposition. This one was also the least best book of the series by quite a margin, with parts of it feeling like an excuse for Stephanie to" write some- "write someone winning a pro life argument."
kat 23:47
I mean, if the people who wrote the books caught that I am sure that that is true.
ryley 23:51
Yep. "The decision to have Jacob imprint on the baby was surely part of the overall story outline from the beginning but that really doesn't make it any better. It would have been more palatable had resume not been one of the worst names in the history of fiction. I did like the honeymoon and wedding scenes and the movie still wasn't outright bad. It's just not as good as any of the other ones in the series, most of which are quite underrated." Which I agree I think a lot of them are underrated. I think they're really fun. I think other ones are underrated.
kat 24:19
I agree too. Like, I think that was I think that was solid take on it.
ryley 24:24
Pretty solid.
kat 24:25
It's not a pro life message, per se. It's just the angle that Stephanie Meyers took.
ryley 24:32
it's definitely an angle like definitely an angle like it's pretty. It's right there.
kat 24:37
It is.
ryley 24:37
Yeah. this is a one out of 10 stars on IMDb. And I just picked this one because I just really liked the title they wrote.
kat 24:44
That's how I picked those ones too.
ryley 24:46
Yeah. This one says "Breaking Wind part one." This was written in 2019. "Boring, boring, so boring. Fourth best in the franchise."
kat 24:57
I am not confident in Breaking Dawn Part Two if that It's not even the last place
ryley 25:01
I'm nervous about part two I don't know how- if I'm gonna like Part Two I'm probably
kat 25:05
I've only watched it once so I don't remember enough of how bad it was to say.
ryley 25:10
This one is also one out of 10 on IMDb. This was written 2020 The title is "why is this a two part movie?" "It makes no sense to make this movie a two part series. The worst part is how the movie is stretched to make more money from teens. Kristen Stewart is so awful and is making the movie dreadful to watch." you said yeah, you definitely call it out like they're- they made it two parts so they can make more money. That's it.
kat 25:33
Yeah, they're like you see how much how much money it Deathly Hallows Part One and Two made? Let's do that. It's the only way to bring in people more is splitting it up into two.
ryley 25:43
Exactly. This one is a two and a half star one. They write, "it was horrible. I loved it." Which is like how I feel about the Twilight. Like it's pretty- like They're fun. They're really funny. They're not Oscar award winning movies, but they're final so I love them
kat 26:00
They're Teen Choice Award winning movies.
ryley 26:02
Exactly. This one is a four star one and I don't know why they wrote this one for this movie. Because if- if your Team Jacob by this point you should stop being Team Jacob.
kat 26:14
I agree
ryley 26:15
It is- this is the time to stop being teen Jacob or stop emitting or saying it out loud. Because this person just wrote four stars Team Jacob. I'm like really? You're gonna write this one about the one where he falls in love with the baby. Really?
kat 26:27
Let's think about how we got to that that decision. Okay.
ryley 26:30
Exactly. This one- I like this one because it's so weird. It's a one a half star one. "I laughed a lot. funny movie." And then it indents and goes "guys, I watched this with Lila. I'm like who's Lyla?"
Unknown Speaker 26:46
Oh my god. Tell me more.
ryley 26:48
why was it a big deal. Who's Lyla? Is she important? This is two and a half stars. "Proof that children are pure evil."
kat 26:55
Not wrong.
ryley 26:56
Not wrong. Five star one. "Bella is the most annoying, self centered, boring protagonist in the history of fictional characters. How's everyone willing to die for this bitch?"
kat 27:06
Especially in this one.
ryley 27:07
Yes. Because like- but at this point its like what did- what does she bring to the table? That's so great. Yeah, for everyone.
kat 27:15
Well, literally, she's asleep for most of this movie.
ryley 27:18
She's out. This one's a good one. "What is Biden's plan to permanently get rid of Jacob Black?"
kat 27:23
Hello, Joe. Joe.
ryley 27:25
Joe. What is the plan?
kat 27:27
Throw this man out of your country?
ryley 27:29
This- Oh, I love this one because I- I agree so hard. "I died laughing when Bella's spine broke" It was funny though, because the way she makes you want to add? She just was like, like, like that. It was I'm sorry. It was fun.
kat 27:45
Well whenever- whenever she started when she like officially transforms and when she goes, her body just pops.
ryley 27:51
Oh, yeah, it just like
kat 27:54
It looks like it looks like they gave her bigger boobs.
ryley 27:57
Yeah! That's what I thought. I'm like, oh, when you turn a vampire, you get bigger boobs? Like that's what I thought because I didn't know her chest had broke.
kat 28:04
Her ribs- Well, yeah, probably because he was giving her CPR.
ryley 28:07
And he's a vampire.
kat 28:09
And he's very strong.
ryley 28:10
Yeah
kat 28:10
I don't know.
ryley 28:11
This is a three and a half star one. This one. This is just a dummy. "That's why using protection is important and just don't be horny. Thumbs up."
kat 28:20
First and foremost. They didn't know that they that was physically possible. What was a condom going to do that they would have broken?
ryley 28:28
Yes. No kidding. Can you Imagine?
kat 28:31
Did you see what they did with the room?
ryley 28:33
Yes.
kat 28:33
They weren't thinking that they needed to wear what in the first place. Also, Bella got her sex talk when she was eight. I don't think she remembers. They're married.
ryley 28:43
Yeah, that's the whole thing though. Like, isn't that the- like, Isn't what everyone complains about? Like, oh, you should have been married if you've gotten pregnant and then you're gonna yell at her for getting pregnant, like really?
kat 28:52
Stephanie Meyers went out of her way to make sure these whire got married.
Yeah
Before they had sex, okay.
ryley 28:58
This one's a one star one. "Just going wildly off the rails. Full blown Mormon propaganda." Yeah, very true. Five stars. "One of the best if not the best of the Twilight films great storyline and acting" disagree as it's just terrible. one and a half star "it's just so fucking slow."
kat 29:17
Yes
ryley 29:17
I just love how I just have a different these are all of 'em. Two and a half "Watched while grading trig homework, way to knock out two obligations all at once." Okay. But why is this an obligation to you? You didn't have to watch it.
kat 29:31
Maybe they were doing a rewatch
ryley 29:33
Yeah yeah maybe
kat 29:33
They're like, well I guess I have to get through Breaking Dawn Part One
ryley 29:37
Yeah, I guess, yeah
kat 29:39
We're doing the same thing we were obligated to watch this movie.
ryley 29:41
Exactly. I will never watch it again is not is not a good one. I will gladly watch the other ones don't go
kat 29:47
I just needed you to fully see.
ryley 29:49
Yeah, I gotta know the whole story I have to know what happens
kat 29:53
I needed you to experience learning what exactly imprinting-
ryley 29:57
yes
kat 29:58
-was
ryley 29:59
yes.
kat 29:59
You know, like I couldn't I couldn't let you not I honestly could have just told you and we could have skipped this one.
ryley 30:04
That's actually really funny, but I don't know. It was good. It was I'm glad I watched it now I know. Speaking of imprinting this one does that have any stars and that's like a few of them. But you can tell-
kat 30:15
Some people just they just review they don't rate on letterbox they just write.
ryley 30:19
You can tell what- how they felt about it though because this person goes, "imprinting aside even this was an absolutely" despicable "despicable display from Jacob. Hashtag Team Jacob girls How do you defend this?"
kat 30:32
True
ryley 30:32
True. I like that one person going Team Jacob, how do you defend that? What are you doing?
kat 30:37
Literally.
ryley 30:38
This one's five stars. "Your life doesn't flash before your eyes when you die. Instead, you see a moody tumblr style fan edit." Which is how this movie- that's how this movie did it when she was like viewing her life like
kat 30:52
*Sings Bon Iver* sorry.
Unknown Speaker 31:00
No, that was actually really good. I liked it.
Unknown Speaker 31:02
Thank you should- that should be our theme song.
ryley 31:05
I was literally gonna say that. I'm not even kidding you for the Twilight ones you should do. So funny. Oh my god.
kat 31:19
If- honestly, I would pick the possibility instead though. Like there's a possibility.
ryley 31:27
That one would be so good. Okay, that one's really good. Either one.
kat 31:32
We'll see if I decide to do that.
ryley 31:34
This one's half a star. This one got into it. "As if the franchise couldn't become any more unhinged, they only went and made an abortion drama in which nothing really happens till the last 20 minutes where it all hits the fan in the most absurd way possible. And might be the worst one so far, but it's also the one I spent the most time laughing at So honestly, who knows?" Oh,yeah
kat 31:56
It is it is ridiculous.
ryley 31:59
It's it's very ridiculous.
kat 32:01
Like it's not
ryley 32:02
But not in the same ways as the other ones the other I don't know. This one just irritated me. It just irritated me.
kat 32:08
For me. I just feel like it's how serious it seems that it's taking itself this time. Like I said before, it seems like they're they're attempting to grow up with their audience and they fail.
ryley 32:22
Yeah, really badly. This person continues "Bella Swan data strings blood of an unbranded McDonald's cup in this movie and Jacob falls in love with a baby literally five minutes out of the womb. So honestly, I say this is the point that watching through the series really starts to pay off from a comedy value standpoint. Even with the first one has" yeah, wait, what?
kat 32:43
I said fair.
ryley 32:44
Oh, yeah, completely. "Even if the first one has all those hilarious running scenes."
kat 32:49
This movie is fun to make fun of but it's not fun to watch.
ryley 32:53
It not like some- if I had friends over I'm not gonna put this one on. I'm gonna put on either the first one or Eclipse.
kat 32:59
Yeah
ryley 33:00
Okay, this is the one and this is why I love Letterbox, you get some weird people Letterbox writing reviews. And this is one of them. This- I don't even know what their stance on the whole movie is. I'm just gonna read it.
kat 33:12
Okay
ryley 33:12
This person said "I wish I was in the honeymoon scene. I'll be fine with being Bella or Edward in it in it. My fave Twilight movie to be honest or maybe new moon comes first not sure. 5:55 when writing this, it is a sign that one day in reality I will be in the honeymoon scene. I will be with them. Meow."
Let's not draft our fanfics on Letterboxd. Okay.
this is the place to bring our- just put all our Wattpad fanfiction stories and just copy and paste them on here.
kat 33:47
Yeah, just get your- actually you know what steal steal your letterbox. Not your letterboxd. Steal your fanfiction ideas from letterboxd, quit going to Tumblr. Okay, letterbox is where everybody's clearly drafting their ideas.
ryley 34:00
Yeah, yeah, I just love that one because it was just so had nothing- almost nothing to do with the movie just- this just the honeymoon scene
kat 34:07
As unhinged as the rest of the movie.
ryley 34:09
Yep. this one's a half star one saying "The scene where a grown ass man falls infant, fucking disgusting."
kat 34:16
Yuppity yup. That is the biggest thing you take away from this movie other than Bella becoming a vampire finally.
ryley 34:22
This one's a five star one. "I don't remember liking this movie that much, but I rewatched it for my podcast and I was surprised by how much I liked it, minus the imprinting part that still gives me the creeps." And I like that one because that's what we're literally doing.
kat 34:37
Yeah, except we don't like it.
ryley 34:38
I don't like it at all. No. This one's good. "Of all the anti abortion films I've seen this might be the worst." This is a one star one. "oooh, They get married. Ooh, she has a demon baby. The end. Why the fuck that I watched this on my birthday?" Someones mad that they wasted their birthday watching this movie, I'm wondering if they went and saw it on their birthday.
kat 35:06
Well, when's it from?
ryley 35:08
It all says from 2022, but I don't know if that's all.
kat 35:12
It's accurate on there.
ryley 35:13
Oh, okay. So that person was
kat 35:15
Their friends were like, okay, yeah, just you pick the movie, or like, they were like, oh, you know what, I'm gonna pick a movie I really want to watch for my birthday. And they picked that one thinking that it was better than it was. I'm so sorry that-
ryley 35:28
I'm sorry you saw that on your birthday.
kat 35:31
Raise your hand if your birthday has been personally victimized by Stephenie Meyer and her atrocities.
ryley 35:36
This one's a two star one. "The imprinting thing will never not be fucked up even in a 1000 years. Still a good trash movie." The other ones are so much better than with, you know, without the creepy stuff.
kat 35:48
Yeah, I think for some people rewatching it probably has an nostalgia value.
ryley 35:53
Yes, probably.
kat 35:54
And if you- it's different when you've read the books, I guess.
ryley 35:57
Yeah. There's a lot of components. This is my last letterbox one. Two and a half one really short. "Bro fucked up the entire room with some dick."
kat 36:11
Like, what were they doing?
ryley 36:12
Like what could have happened? That everything's a mess.
kat 36:16
He's the boyfriend that punches holes in the wall.
ryley 36:18
Oh my god and Jacob? I don't know. I feel like Jacob has more of that energy. But I don't know ever does too. I think she just- she's just into guys that punch holes in walls.
kat 36:27
He's the one where you go to his room. Like you go to his house for the first time and you just see the holes in the walls and you're like,
ryley 36:33
what is that?
kat 36:34
Maybe I should leave? But Jacob you're like, Oh, of course. You have holes in your walls.
ryley 36:39
Yeah
kat 36:40
And I'm still gonna leave but like makes sense for you.
ryley 36:43
Exactly. Like you can just see it. This is a 10 out of 10 star one on IMDb. This came out in 2011. So this is shortly after the movie came out. "As flawless as anything from Stephenie Meyer is going to get. The makeup and special effects work in this film were absolutely stunning and Bella's transformation into a weak powerless shell carrying a child inside her was magnificent." I can't tell though sarcasm or not, I mean, they gave it a 10 out of 10 but like the way they wrote that it just reads sarcasm. "Once again Taylor Lautner shows off his acting chops. He even has an intense crying scene in this. Shockingly, the hair concert costumes were the best of all the films in this movie."
I liked Alice's hair cut, I like the pixie cut on her.
I remember like her at the wedding. It's very pretty. It's like very 1920s
kat 37:27
and she wears a flapper style dress too.
ryley 37:29
Yeah, it's really pretty. "Jasper who normally looks absolutely ridiculous, manages to actually have decent hair for once. There are a few things that seem just as dumb on screen as they did on the page, Jacob imprints on resume, the named resume. But for the most part screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg works with Stephanie to craft something much better than was actually in the book. The birthing scene alone has a lot of power to it. The cinematography was great. As always, I totally love the soundtrack, which was kind of a mix of indie and pop rock. I honestly don't feel there's any proper way they can make Part Two cinematically pleasing, because the last half of Meyer's novel was an absolute train wreck." So this person read the book and did not like what I guess because the book itself is breaking one two, like together
kat 38:15
We'll see what they mean. I guess.
ryley 38:16
Yeah
kat 38:17
With how the story goes in the second one. I don't think that this one was very good. on any level.
ryley 38:23
I do not like this movie. I just don't I do not like this movie. It's like one of those movies where I watched- it takes a lot for me not to like a movie. This is one of them. I don't like I just don't like it.
kat 38:32
It's not even redeemingly ridiculous.
ryley 38:35
If you had a rate
kat 38:36
This one would be like a one out of five.
ryley 38:38
I'm gonna agree. One out of five.
kat 38:40
Yeah, I don't think my mind wasn't really changed by any of the reviews of this movie. I just, you know, I understand why some people give it a chance. And some people enjoy it for what it is. But I just I was not a big enough fan of this series when it came out. And I didn't read the books. So I don't know how to find any redeeming qualities in it.
ryley 39:03
Exactly. I agree.
kat 39:07
Well do you have any other thoughts?
ryley 39:11
No. Oh, Team Charlie, all the way up
kat 39:14
Yeah, team Charlie for sure. You've heard what we've had to say furred with the critics and the audience members have had to say you can tell this might not be a movie in this saga that's worth your time. But if you are wanting to feel completed and watch the whole series as a whole, I understand but if you're just watching through, you can skip this one too. But you know, let us know what you think. We should have an Instagram running soon and we have a TikTok page that's up but we haven't posted on it yet. But just look out for us @Easy Bake takes on tick tock and you can also find us on YouTube. It's also just Easy Bake takes we'll be posting some video versions of the episodes on there in the future and posting clips from the episodes on TikTok. Thank you so much for listening. This has been Easy Bake Takes I'm Kat
ryley 39:57
And I'm Riley.
kat 39:58
Easy watching out there.