Mummy Issues (The Mummy Movie Review)
Kat and Ryley revisit a childhood fave, The 1999 Mummy starring Brendan Fraser.
Review Overview: Brendan Fraser risked his life for this movie.
This is a childhood classic. Also a source of our lifelong fear of bugs.
The cultural accuracy is very 1999. Aside from that this movie is fun and nostalgic for us.
Kat: 7/10
Ryley: 8/10
kat 0:11
Hello, and welcome back to Easy Bake takes the podcast, the podcast where we read the one star reviews of your favorite movies and more. I'm Kat.
ryley 0:19
And I'm Ryley.
kat 0:21
And this week we're doing- this week and next week. We're doing Brendan Fraser movies. Which one did you pick?
ryley 0:27
I picked the mummy.
kat 0:28
classic
ryley 0:29
Classic, childhood classic for me too. I loved this movie growing up. The Mummy and the Mummy Returns. Those are two movies I watched consistently. We love Brendan Fraser, we’re team Brendan Fraser on this podcast, if you are not get out, get out. I don't you here. I don't want you here.
kat 0:49
Do you want to get into the background information before we go off into our feelings?
ryley 0:53
Yes. All right, this movie was made in 1999. It is PG-13 which is like-
kat 1:01
At that time PG 13 was a little edgier.
ryley 1:03
It was a little edgier, because this movie was like, it had some things in it that, like as a child, I was freaked out about.
kat 1:09
Yeah, this movie scared me as a kid.
ryley 1:11
Yeah, the beetle. I'll get into the Beetles later but it's two hours and four minutes which doesn't feel like it. It feels like a great just like I mean like action movies kind of run around that time. It's It's It's fine. It's a great runtime. It's not long at all. It doesn't feel like that. The description of this movie if you haven't seen it. Dashing Rick O'Connell stumbles upon the hidden ruins of Hamunaptrah
kat 1:36
Yes.
ryley 1:36
-while in the midst of a battle to claim the area in 1920s Egypt. It has been over 3000 years since the former high priests Imhotep suffered a fate worse than death as a punishment for a forbidden love, along with a curse that guarantees eternal doom upon the world if he is ever awoken.
kat 1:55
And murder plot. It wasn't just because he was in love with somebody he fucking killed the Pharaoh or tried to.
ryley 2:02
i It's like one of those things where like, I don't know if I should- just by reading it I was like, this is trying to convince me like I should feel for the mummy.
kat 2:10
He tried to kill the Pharaoh. I don't know what the Pharaoh was about but.
ryley 2:12
The only feelings I have in this movie are for Brendan Fraser.
kat 2:15
Yes.
ryley 2:15
The director was Stephen Summers. Writing credits or for Stephen Summers, Lloyd Banville, Kevin Jar for screen story. Cast, of course, the great Brendan Fraser. Rachel Weiss, she plays Evelyn. John Hannah he plays the brother Jonathan. Arnold Vosloo plays Imhotep and then Kevin J. O'Connor plays Benny that little creepy guy. Jonathan Hyde, he plays Dr. Allen, I think he's only- I don't think he's in it for very long, but I wanted to include him because he always plays the obnoxious English like Professor kind of guy. He's really good at that.
kat 2:51
Yeah, he is.
ryley 2:51
It's that trope. So I do have trivia and it's pretty intense. The first one
kat 2:55
okay
ryley 2:56
Brendan Fraser, like he nearly died during that scene where his character is hanged. Rachel actually said he stopped breathing had to be re-
kat 3:04
Resuscitated.
ryley 3:05
Yeah resuscitated. So this man almost sacrificed his life for this movie. And I'm just gonna say I love that.
kat 3:11
Yes.
ryley 3:12
Good for him. I love- I'm- not good for him that he nearly died, but like, that's his dedication as an actor like he did so much don't work. That's why like his career like he kind of stopped. He was in the hospital for like, almost like seven to 10 years. He went through so much medical surgeries, and it was intense that man like even had to have surgery on his vocal cords.
kat 3:34
Yeah, I bet. Because his his voice does sound a little bit different now, in interviews I've seen him in. It's unfortunate that he had to step away from acting for the reasons that he did, especially. But we don't have to get into that because it's- if you want to know why Brendan Fraser had to step away from the acting field, you can look that up and the Internet will have many answers for.
ryley 3:54
you- direct quotes to what of what happened.
kat 3:57
Yeah, but we're not gonna get into that on here. Go on with your trivia.
ryley 3:59
There's a scene with Benny the actor he's shown with a sackful goal which he's trying to load onto a camel, but he pulls the camel by the reins, but the camera doesn't budge. And for some reason, they don't know why. All the camels on set hated Kevin J. O'Connor, like they hated him. And that's like a weird thing about animals. I'm not saying Kevin is a bad person. I'm not saying that at all. But it's weird when animals don't like one person,
kat 4:25
definitely a red flag.
ryley 4:25
Like there's one thing where animals like don't like people. That's one thing, but when one person pisses them off, I don't know.
kat 4:31
No, it's a red flag to me a little bit.
ryley 4:33
Another fun one, the library disaster where like all the shelves like domino effect. Like they had to do that one take if they messed up. They had it would take a whole day to
kat 4:43
Reset it.
ryley 4:44
Yeah, reset and to reshoot. So it was like one of those things were like, which I think is so much pressure on actors. Like I hate those. I hate hearing that. I'm like, oh god. So those are my fun fact so far. What did you think about this movie?
kat 4:55
So since you just mentioned the bookshelf thing, this is more of like an issue I have with the writing not with the scene itself, or how it was shot or anything, she could have just grabbed on to the shelf when she was like falling on the ladder. You know, like she could have just put a hand up there. But she was like, just holding herself up in the middle
ryley 5:13
very impressively.
kat 5:14
But like she had the ladder leaning on it, so she was putting pressure on it before but l- I don't know, that just didn't make any fucking sense to me.
ryley 5:21
It didn't make sense. It made comic sense.
kat 5:23
It was yes, it was. Obviously it was supposed to be like a comical moment. But logically, I'm like, she could have just fucking-
ryley 5:29
There was an easy solution. But she chose not to.
kat 5:32
They took the long way.
ryley 5:33
She took the long way out, that's fine.
kat 5:34
The other thing I wrote is, I understand, like I understood kind of as a kid, but as an adult woman now I understand why my mom was obsessed with Brendan Fraser. I kept getting distracted by him in this movie, and we love him not just because he was hot, but he's also a good person.
ryley 5:50
He's just a good person. We I never heard a bad thing about him. i He was part of my childhood and all the movies I watch
kat 5:57
and he's very wholesome now with like people re- helping to revive his career and seeing that people are out there supporting him. But the other thing I had was Why were the Egyptians in the beginning so fucking white.
ryley 6:08
Oh, yeah. The Yeah, this movie is not historically accurate. Even- not even a little
kat 6:13
and I don't want to I'm sure it comes up in reviews somewhere. But like I don't want to get too much into how much like stereotyping and cultural inaccuracy there is in this movie because it was made in 1999 and I'm not surprised that it was like that it was there and I'm just gonna say that it was like why were the Egyptians so fucking white?
ryley 6:33
There was literally a critical review of saying like, Oh, it's just gibberish and they call it Egyptian like Egyptian language. It's just gibberish that's what it is they didn’t even like they didn’t even care to like actually put in the actual language. So
kat 6:45
Literally. the- I had some I had two like things from the beginning where I was like, another logical thing, where it was like, Why didn't you? So at the beginning, he had a shotgun that he had to constantly be reloading, he had two hand guns that whole time. He was just sitting there people on horses coming at him in close range and just sitting there still using the shotgun and then he was like, fuck it and then they use the the handguns. It's like, why were you using the handguns before? Like the shotgun should be the last resort.
ryley 7:13
Yeah,
kat 7:14
But anyway, and then the dudes on the horses they had guns by the time they caught up with him, but they were using their swords.
ryley 7:20
I hate that. So they literally had guns but decided to bring out the swords because that in some ways more effective. You know what? It's one of those things where like, you just have to appreciate the movie for what it is.
kat 7:31
Yes, it is. That's something I wrote down too. It's like 1999 Corny action movie. But it's nostalgic and lovable. But that's all I had written down right now. I got very distracted by Brendan Fraser throughout this whole movie, not in a way where I'm like a objectifying camera or anything just like he's just very distractingly handsome.
ryley 7:52
He is in like
kat 7:53
What do you have? What do you think of it?
ryley 7:55
I watched it since I was a kid. This is a very nostalgic movie for me too. I understand its flaws.
kat 8:01
Yes.
ryley 8:01
Very much so. I love the brother. I feel like if I have a character in this movie, I'd be the brother.
kat 8:06
Oh, yeah. Like at the end when they're like, Oh, we didn't we aren't leaving fully empty handed. And he's like he's, *sounds of disgust*
ryley 8:14
He's the idiot that tags along. And kind of helps, but doesn't
kat 8:19
Yeah, the comic relief character.
ryley 8:20
Exactly. And I feel like if I was in an action movie I’d be kinda like that. I'm gonna help at some point.
kat 8:26
There's a reason you're there. One specific instance that will come up and you will come in handy. But everything else you're just like cracking jokes in the back.
ryley 8:34
Exactly. I'm going to think about one thing everyone forgot and be the surprise person that remembered it.
kat 8:40
You pop up with the thing everyone was looking for.
ryley 8:42
Yeah, exactly. The thing they thought they all lost. I have it in my pocket. Because I thought it was shiny and pretty.
kat 8:48
Oh, we needed this?
ryley 8:50
What's this in my pocket? I don't know what this is. It's the thing that saves the day.
kat 8:54
The Holy Grail?
ryley 8:56
Exactly. The bugs. The beetles in this movie. I want to talk about that for a second.
kat 9:01
My fear of bugs came from this movie.
ryley 9:03
It's probably one of the most horrific things I've ever seen in the movie like to this day, like the thought the idea of bugs getting under literally getting underneath your skin crawling around and eating you. That's horrific. And to have that concept and a PG 13 movie. Oh my god. No.
kat 9:20
Don't ever watch the movie that perfectionist. I think we've talked about that movie before.
ryley 9:25
I think he I remember you telling me about it. And I
kat 9:28
she drugs her and she thinks that like there's bugs all in her. And she like cuts her hand off because she thinks that but like they're not really there but it's like they make it look like there are
ryley 9:36
no
kat 9:38
I'm never gonna make you watch that movie.
ryley 9:39
I don't want to. I remember you telling me about that movie and I don't want to watch the movie. Creepy dude Benny from this. I call him creepy dude. I don't mean to his character. His character is just like the little creepy slimy dude. He is probably one of the most horrific deaths I've ever like. I like I can like have a concept of in a movie.
kat 9:56
Yeah, it stressed me out looking like watching it.
ryley 9:58
It's horrible. Not just like The fact that all the Beatles like come and eat him, that's actually the best case scenario for what could have happened because it's kind of quick. He dies within 60 seconds to me that's like, okay.
kat 10:11
Getting trapped to your death.
ryley 10:12
Trapped with no concept of getting out in complete darkness. That is a horrible, horrible concept. I hope I never ever have to even like think about enduring. That is horrible. He's trapped there forever. No one's coming to save him.
kat 10:29
That’s why you don’t go spelunking.
ryley 10:30
Yes! God, oh, we're gonna watch the descent and I'm gonna complain about the whole movie. It's gonna be a big long rants.
kat 10:38
I love the descent.
ryley 10:40
I love the descent I’m not even kidding.
kat 10:42
It’s successful at scaring the shit out of me.
ryley 10:44
Yes, it's probably one of the few horror movies that actually scare the crap on me. So yeah, being trapped in utter darkness was no way of getting out with nowhere getting help you. Had the beetles not been there, he would just slowly like
kat 10:56
Starved to death, yeah.
ryley 10:57
Died of dehydration or starved. Yeah, it's just whatever they like. That's a horrible death for me.
kat 11:02
Oh, oh, something I forgot to write down. Have you ever been to Universal Studios?
ryley 11:08
No, no.
kat 11:09
Okay, so there's a mummy ride. There. It is my favorite ride at Universal Studios. It is so fun. It's so fucking fun. If you ever go definitely ride that one. Because it's like this movie came out what? 1999. That rides still kicking because people love that ride. They like breathe fire at your one point. Fake fire, but.
ryley 11:27
Still.
kat 11:28
They don't want anyone to lose any eyebrows or anything.
ryley 11:31
Yeah, they don't want a lawsuit. They get enough of those. Yeah, so moving on from horrible death. Fuc- Fuck Tom Cruise's the mummy in 2017. I didn't see it. But Tom Cruise scares the shit out of me and I shouldn't
kat 11:47
I don’t entertain him.
ryley 11:47
I don't entertain him. Does he do impressive stunts? Impressive stunts? Yes. Does he creep me out so much? Yes. If he was in a dark alley, he's like Ryley come over here. I would run in the opposite direction because I know he's about to murder me.
kat 12:01
Yeah. Or kidnap you and put you in the sea org in Scientology.
ryley 12:05
Yep. Yep, he. Yep. Like that.
kat 12:09
With Shelly Miscavige.
ryley 12:10
Not to like have a Tom Cruise hate session but I don't like him.
kat 12:16
No, it's allowed.
ryley 12:16
It's allowed it's it's granted it's it's an so we are Team Brendan Fraser. We are anti team Tom Cruise on the on this podcast.
kat 12:25
I'm just trying to fulfill my life goal of getting a Scientology hate website dedicated to me. Okay, that's all I want. And if I have to shit on Tom Cruise to get there, I'll do it.
ryley 12:34
Exactly. I'll do it for free. I don't even care. Like I will talk crap. You know what shit about Tom Cruise?
kat 12:42
Whoa.
ryley 12:45
I just realized like I said the F word like four or five times before this. I'm like, I don't know why I set myself with crap.
kat 12:53
Yeah, we're not really like a PG podcast. I literally mark every single episode as explicit because I say fuck after every sentence, apparently.
ryley 13:03
That's what this was. This is what that is. I love that because it sounds just like Julian. We got critic reviews.
kat 13:21
Okay
ryley 13:21
Keith writes that there's nothing wrong with a big noisy action movie, but says that the mummy doesn't make the cut for him. Because his left- it left him unsatisfied. He claims the movies to forced. He says the movie becomes boring and even uncomfortable. You know, after a while due to the tongue in cheek humor and claims the choreography seems to staged and looks like moves from a video game. I'm like, Well, it's an action movie. And also, it's like, it's meant to be a big blockbuster film. So like, I don't know, I don't think those are like bad things. Nothing. I would complain about
kat 13:54
The observations he's making. They're not wrong. But I think we're at a point where we like know that those are just action movie tropes. And yeah, there's action movies that do them way less. But like, this is just generally a cheesy movie. So it's like you're pointing it out and you're not wrong. It's just like, the rest of us don't care that much.
ryley 14:15
Yeah. So like, I don't know, he just kind of picks weird things to complain about. Nothing I would complain about, but whatever. To quote him. “It's passable entertainment, that will likely leave you wanting more.”
kat 14:27
That's a bad thing?
ryley 14:28
Well, that's why they made the mummy return. So there you go.
kat 14:31
I don't necessarily think that that was as much of a negative comment as you think like I think he's saying like, it's passable, but you still want to watch more?
ryley 14:41
Yeah.
kat 14:41
I kind of I don't know. I can't tell if I don't even know if the second one was, like announced that it was going to happen at that point. Because if it wasn't, then he's being he's being negative, but if it was that it's kind of like oh, well, maybe he's just like I'm excited for another one. Even though it was passable. I still want to see more of These movies? I don't know.
ryley 15:01
Yeah, I don't know, I, you know, you're allowed your opinion that he might have taken a little too seriously. But you know, maybe it’s not his thing.
kat 15:09
probably not.
ryley 15:10
Exactly. So this next review is called the mummy. It's by Mark Massie. This is on the website Gone with the Twins. Mike calls out the moment for being an obvious attempt to merge Indiana Jones with monster movies, and knows that the movies don't live up to what they're trying to imitate, especially with action sequences. I don't know the difference between the action sequences between Indiana Jones and this movie.
kat 15:33
I feel like it's one of those situations where people can't admit that something that's like a classic popular movie is just as cheesy as the newer ones.
ryley 15:41
It's just the same, like yes, Indiana Jones is very famous. Yes, it's very iconic. That doesn't mean it can't be easily, easily recreated.
kat 15:51
But if you recreate a movie like that amongst movies that like stopped doing those tropey things, it's gonna come off as cheesy because they're using the tropes that movies like that made.
ryley 15:59
Exactly. He says the movie is a basic formula that can be guessed.
kat 16:03
I mean, you're not wrong. It's just like, these criticisms are so like stale.
ryley 16:07
like it actually unique criticism and not just like, I did- a well, this is a ripoff of Indiana Jones and I like Indiana Jones. So I'm gonna keep reading what he says. He hated the characters and tropes, you know, nerd lady takes all classes because pretty lady. I'm sorry. Is that not in Indiana Jones? I don't know. What's it? Like? I'm sorry. It's not
kat 16:26
I’m pretty sure that one happens in Indiana Jones.
ryley 16:28
I couldn't tell you which one but I'm pretty sure there are, pretty sure there’s tropes in Indiana Jones that are way more stupid than the ones in this one.
kat 16:36
Yeah, it's kind of like the sorry, sorry to interrupt again.
ryley 16:39
No, you're fine.
kat 16:39
It's kind of like the criticisms with the Hunger Games where it was like, Oh, well, it's doing like blockbuster movie things and like this has been done before and other sci fi movies and like dystopian stuff and it's like nothing's really that fucking original. This movie could have been like paying homage to Indiana Jones.
ryley 16:56
Yeah, and very, like it's not hiding that.
kat 16:59
And these sound like annoying film bros, you know, that are just like, well, it was it was to appeal to a mass audience. So blah blah. So was Indiana Jones when it came out.
ryley 17:10
Yeah, I'm sorry. Are you special for like Indiana Jones because as far as I can tell, millions of people also do.
kat 17:17
It was that like a bit of a peaking point in Steven Spielberg's career.
ryley 17:23
This is the part where I got mad. He called Brendan a buffoon. And he said, and this is what he says, I quote him “who can survive hanging?” Yeah, he fucking did. And he did it for this fucking movie. So How dare you
kat 17:36
Quick history lesson. Sometimes, when people would get hanged. Their necks would not snap. It's not impossible.
ryley 17:45
Exactly. And Brendan almost died from that scene. So How dare you say that, he almost died to do that scene. Give him a little more respect than that. Give him a little more respect than that. Jeez.
kat 17:59
It's just there's so much nitpicking when it comes to blockbuster movies that it's like at a certain point, it's been said doesn't make you sound smart.
ryley 18:07
It doesn't just makes you sound annoying because this is a blockbuster film that’s meant to just entertain, have fun with it. It's not to be taken seriously.
kat 18:16
The Massie twins have hated of just about every single movie we've watched.
ryley 18:19
Oh, yeah, I've never found a positive review for them. So they just I guess I just hate movies.
kat 18:24
Critics are known for being harsh.
ryley 18:26
But they just don't like movies. He hated the comic relief. And said, it made it harder to appreciate the intermittent seriousness of the movie. And to me, that's the whole problem. Like if you're if you're sitting down to watch this movie and expecting some serious scenes, you are in the wrong headspace. This is a fun blockbuster action movie, do not take a thing serious.
kat 18:50
Like I don't think that those are false points, and whatever, whatever. Like maybe they wrote these when people were being fucking film snobs about blockbuster movies, and people still are like, it happens with any movie that's directed at a mass media market, it's gonna fucking happen. It's just the- that they felt the need to all make the same points. So like, these were probably written around the time the movie came out, they probably seemed more original with their critiques back then. At this time, those critiques are just not good enough anymore. Like that isn't not enough of an analysis of why this movie is bad.
ryley 19:24
Well, I feel like when your take is like, well, I was expecting a serious movie to a blockbuster film. Dude, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna take you. I'm not gonna take you seriously, you are expecting a whole different film than what is being presented to you. And so you're gonna have the wrong take either way. Because you have the wrong mindset. Sorry, you don't know how to have fun. This one's more positive. This one's written by Almer Haffledesen he wrote for the BBC 2001. Almer notes how universal universal first made the mummy back in 1932 with like Boris Karloff very iconic. 67 years later, this is like 1999 era, they remade it with an old fashion, you know, old fashioned scares and big upgrade with CGI and stuff like that. He says there's parts where the CGI is like pretty good. Like with the sandstorm is stuff like with- there's like a landscape view of the cities like that's probably not going to age well.
kat 20:23
yeah.
ryley 20:24
And he's right, the CGI, the CGI in the movie is not the best for our time. Back then it was pretty good. Everyone says like, everyone back in 1999 was like, Hey, this is really good. And like, of course it ages.
kat 20:36
Yeah, I've watched I've watched plenty of movies from that era, where like, CGI was like, first kind of a thing like, and it looks bad now. Just to like, go back to the other critics for a second. If they were to look at this movie as an homage to 1930s like action adventure monster movies, I think it would have been much more enjoyable and it would seem a lot less empty. It's paying homage to something it's not just being cheesy for the sake of appealing to a mass audience. It's cheesy because that's how the 1930s one kind of was. It was like all this like stereotypical tropey stuff like there's a lot more thought behind it than it was given credit for.
ryley 21:16
I do I agree. Almer says “it's all done with plenty of action set pieces and decidedly creepy thrills, and a hearty slice of cheesy humor that often hits the mark due to the energy and timing of the cast,” which is like his like final note. I think, I think it's exactly how it was meant to be. Last one. This is this was done by Bob Graham for the Chronicle senior writer, Bob writes at the comic horror is emphasized- it emphasizes the comic in it, you know,
kat 21:45
Yeah, the comedic horror kind of approach to it. That's how monster movies were. That's what horror was back that
ryley 21:51
Right. Yeah, exactly. And people wanting to label this movie as a horror film really, really badly. And there's a lot of people going like it's not it's really not it's an action. It's adventure. Yes, as it has some creepy stuff in it, of course, but it's not a horror movie. And it's just not.
kat 22:06
Yeah these days it's not. It would not pass as something that could be described as a horror movie, but if it were made in the 1930s 40s, definitely.
ryley 22:14
oh, yeah, it would’ve. I can only imagine. He notes that Brendan Fraser is in his element in this movie and says that he has the flair and know how to pull it off. He does such a good job.
kat 22:25
He was really like at this era in his career was really like there was so much promise for his career.
ryley 22:31
Oh, yeah, absolutely. He says it's hokey, but that just means it's big time fun. And that's his quote, big time fun and it is big time fun.
kat 22:38
That's the best way to look at it.
ryley 22:39
Best way to look at it. Credits that the beetles are the creepiest thing. You know, besides the gruesome mummy, which like is kind of gross, but
kat 22:45
Pretty scary band.
ryley 22:46
It gets pretty crazy like the mummy gets like pretty gross looking.
kat 22:49
Did you hear what I said?
ryley 22:50
What did you say?
kat 22:51
it's a pretty scary band.
ryley 22:53
They are. Have you heard their shit that they’ve done?
kat 22:57
George?
ryley 22:58
John? God
kat 23:04
Ringo?
ryley 23:04
Oh, he hasn't done anything, at least I heard of.
kat 23:08
He hasn't.
ryley 23:08
I’ve heard he's pretty decent guy that I know of. I know. There's no reason. There's no reason. They're just it's to bully.
kat 23:14
Just a little dorky guy.
ryley 23:15
Yeah, no kidding.
kat 23:17
But, go on, sorry.
ryley 23:19
He loves the bit where the mummies, the mummy’s hand reaches out of the sand because it's like a homsge to like the Boris Karloff movie.
kat 23:26
Yeah.
ryley 23:27
And he says like, it's like seeing an old friend, which I love, which is like, you know, this is like someone who understands what the movie is. And also understands like, there is homage to it. And it's just fun. It's just fun.
kat 23:41
It recontextualizes the movie when you think about it with that.
ryley 23:44
Oh, yeah, definitely. I totally agree. So that was the last of my critic reviews. Now. I have audience ones. So I'm gonna get through the IMDB ones first. So this one we start with a 10 out of 10 one. “Watching this in 2020 I feel the same emotions and the thrill. Greatest movie ever, haters say otherwise. I was eight years old when I watched this movie. It was voiced in my regional language. I will never forget the experience of watching the wholesome adventures. I still keep watching it. The nostalgia factor is pretty high. 2020 and I don't feel any different than how I felt when I was eight.” Yeah, so like I'm like, in the same way. I was very nostalgic for this movie. This one says this is read June 2 1999. And a lot of these reviews from at least IMDB are from 1999. It was like pretty hard to find recent ones.
kat 24:34
IMDB at least existed as a website back then.
ryley 24:37
Yeah, exactly. So it's really pretty interesting. This one is I want to attend “as bad as it gets.” “I am frustrated. Frustrated that more movies like this will come out of Hollywood or even tons of money.” Dude, wait till Twilight comes in. I know you're gonna. If hate this movie, you're gonna hate Twilight and I'm gonna hate you. “It makes me sad. The basic Answer on a negative critique on the mummy seems to be Hey, what did you expect? It's a fun movie.” And he goes, “It's not” I’m like but it is like you just said it. Why wouldn't you just go it's a fun movie, anyway. “It's bad filmmaking at it's worst. It's not entertaining. And, I was looking for shallow entertainment. It's not funny, the jokes are lame. The scenes that should have been serious are jokes too. Three days before I've seen the mummy, I started reading William Goldman's adventures in screenwriting, and I think it gives a really good overview of the inner workings of the American film industry. However, the mummy told me more about Hollywood filmmaking in the power of marketing and the average movie goer, then this wonderful book, it makes me sad.”
kat 25:42
A couple things. We both went to film school, both of us and we both took horror film related classes. My class went in, like chronological order order with all the movies we went over. Those classes make you appreciate the cheesy aspects of especially old horror movies. Taking film classes like that, where it's like the history of it, and like, how the film industry has evolved over time and shit, taking classes like that, has made me have more appreciation for blockbuster type movies. Because as much as some of them are, you know, shallow, and like, cheesy, sometimes. There's still a basis for what they're doing.
ryley 26:23
They are what they are. And people expect that, you know, so to shit on them is like, just like, redundant. You know, if a movie entertains you, it did its job.
kat 26:34
Literally.
ryley 26:35
And that's about it. Here's another one out of 10 it's just titled, this one's written in 2002, it's titled “crap Crap. Crap.” “What a shame this movie was one of the worst I've seen in my whole life. Comedy. They just spoiled the mummy legend was silly jokes instead of an atmosphere of mystery” they “that they should have given to the film.” Well, you should directed it then if that's what you wanted.
kat 26:57
Have you watched the 1930s Mummy before?
ryley 27:01
Yeah, were you were you scared by that?
kat 27:03
It was so serious. They never cracked, they never did anything that was found funny now.
ryley 27:07
It was never not serious in that. What in 1932? Are you kidding me?
kat 27:11
You ever heard of a little film called Cat People? That's from the 50s?.
ryley 27:14
Oh my god. That's, that's a really good one. I do love that.
kat 27:18
It's good. But if they made it now, it'd be silly.
ryley 27:21
It's silly watching it now. It's, it's awesome.
kat 27:25
Yes.
ryley 27:25
It's awesome. So starting with the letterbox ones. I have one that says he gave this or this person gave three stars. “I liked that the mummy’s number one superpower is the ability to make his lower jaw, like two feet long.” And I like this one because it's like, yeah, that is an interesting superpower.
kat 27:47
Whatcha using that for? It makes me think of like a cartoon mummy when it's like he's just gonna eat somebody in one bite.
ryley 27:56
Just swallow them.
kat 27:56
You know?
ryley 27:57
Yeah. I didn't make that so any less dirty.
kat 28:01
Oh.
ryley 28:04
It's Letterboxd. This next one has too much energy for me to like, but I included it. It's five stars. And it's all in caps. And it just says “it's good.”
kat 28:20
That's really all?
ryley 28:21
That's all they said. And I just felt really uncomfortable when I read that. Not that it just it's just too much. It's too much for that for that all for them to say that's it. That's the only thing that was said.
kat 28:32
Straight to the point.
ryley 28:33
Five stars. “I made a huge mistake. And now this is my toddler's new favorite movie.” I love that because that was literally my sister.
kat 28:41
That would happen with my that would happen with my nephews for sure.
ryley 28:44
Oh, yeah. Three stars. “It's stupid.” And then in italics, “but fun.”
kat 28:50
Correct.
ryley 28:52
Correct. Four stars. “This is my childhood. How dare Tom Cruise trying to ruin it.” Thank you.
kat 28:58
Also correct.
ryley 29:00
also correct. That is also the right answer.
kat 29:02
Yes.
ryley 29:03
This one’s funny. Three stars. “Morbius the living vampire would deal with the with the mummy loser in no time.”
kat 29:12
Moribus drinking a 40 in a death basket.
ryley 29:15
That's the only thing I could think of. I really do want to see Morbius just to see how bad it is. Because I hear it's awful.
kat 29:21
I feel like Noah's gonna make me see it.
ryley 29:23
i It's one of those movies where I think it's gonna be so bad, it's funny.
kat 29:27
It's Jared Leto.
ryley 29:28
It’s- that's the thing. It’s Jared Leto as a vampire, it can't be that good. But I think it it can't be a waste of time. It's gonna be I think it's gonna be bad fun. Not like this movie. This movie is fun fun. Morbius I feel like he's gonna be like, it's so bad, but I'm laughing because it's so bad.
kat 29:48
I- Yeah.
ryley 29:49
All right, next one. So it's funny. Three stars. “No one:” you know. “My friends and I audibly barking every time Brendan Fraser was on screen.”
kat 30:00
There was a tik- thing I thought of every time I saw there's a tiktok sound and you would use it every time, like, you know, the man was being hot or something or like, somebody was being hot. It was just like a bunch of cats meowing.
ryley 30:14
Me-ow.
kat 30:15
But like actual just
ryley 30:17
Actual cats.
kat 30:18
A chorus of cat's meow meowing and it was just you know it was for for simping.
ryley 30:24
Yep, there you go. There was so many like, there was so many comments about what he looked like and like how much people loved how he looked in the movie. And, you know, I had to dwindle it down.
kat 30:33
We agree. We don't need to be convinced.
ryley 30:35
Yeah, no, I don't need to prove the point. You know, it's there. The evidence is there. This one's five stars. This just proves the point again. Why is everyone “why is everyone in this movie so fucking hot?”
kat 30:47
Oh, yeah. Like-
ryley 30:49
Everyone's good looking.
kat 30:50
The lady is hot.
ryley 30:51
The ladies hot. The brothers hot. The mummies hot. This was three and a half stars, “Brenda Frazier's abs shines through this role. I wish he got more roles today. He's phenomenal in Doom Patrol as well. CGI was not bad for a movie that came out in the 90s. Some lines came off as super cheesy, but I gave it a pass because the movie is over. 20 years old.”
kat 31:14
I don't want to hear that it's over 20 years old.
ryley 31:17
I hate that too. I mean, we are
kat 31:19
it is but don't say it makes me feel weird.
ryley 31:23
Yeah. “Evelyn and her brother fucking suck. I wanted the mummy does suck the life out of them so badly. Overall, not a bad movie. Also, I have no idea this movie took place in the 20s as a kid.”
kat 31:34
Me neither. I just didn't pick up on the fact.
ryley 31:39
I probably didn't either. I want to be the person that says like, oh, I follow along with the story. But like I was I was a dummy as a kid, so probably not.
kat 31:46
When I started watching it. I didn't realize it was in the 20s until like the dude that Evelyn worked for popped up. And I was like, Oh, he's dressed weird, too.
ryley 31:55
Right? Yeah. Like they're all just dressed kind of different. But like, you know, it's just the costume design in the movie. It's fine.
kat 32:02
I was like, it's just a choice.
ryley 32:04
Yeah, that's fine. I'd probably been the thing about it was just like, okay. This next one is four stars. If, alright I love this one. “If I had seen this movie around the time it was released, I would have realized I was bisexual a lot sooner.” Which, you know.
kat 32:19
Fair enough.
ryley 32:20
Fair enough. This one this one's wrong. But like I get it, you know, like wrong like factually. “I love it when men are blonde and have muscles and waist and shoulders and necks and faces and hair and are Brendan Fraser.” He- he has dark hair. He's not blonde.
kat 32:37
It's light brown, but like it's still brown.
ryley 32:40
It's still brown. It's not blonde. And that kind of threw me off. But I just love how they list body parts that human beings have. And it's like,
kat 32:48
But they said and what Brendan Fraser has them though. So I mean, yeah.
ryley 32:52
I understand their point. It's just weird. It's just- it just weird it just- how its worded. Four stars. “They really don't make movies like they used to.” Three stars “Brendan Fraser would have killed in the MCU.” And this is the one I was waiting for. Because my question to you is, who would he have played if he was cast in the MCU universe? He could be anyone.
kat 33:14
in the state. He was in in like the 90s-2000s. Um.
ryley 33:21
I have mine.
kat 33:22
I could see him. If he- I don't know how good he is at accents. Like maybe Thor.
ryley 33:29
I could see that.
kat 33:30
I could see him as Thor. I could see him as a more like a comical superhero. I don't think I would like him as Captain America.
ryley 33:38
I thought about that. I was like I don’t think.
kat 33:39
A little too serious to be him.
ryley 33:41
It's a little too serious. I thought, had he been like, what who he was like in the mummy, he would have made a great Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy.
kat 33:50
I think he would have been a fantastic Star Lord, actually, and we wouldn't have to worry about what's his dick.
ryley 33:57
The other dude. Not to be mentioned on here.
kat 34:00
Yes. I just literally can't think of his last name right now.
ryley 34:03
I thought of the Hulk.
kat 34:04
I think he would be a good Hulk too. But I think he would shine as either Star Lord or Thor.
ryley 34:11
I agree. I totally agree.
kat 34:13
Because he plays that himbo role pretty good too.
ryley 34:15
Yes. And like, you know if you know how he was in the mummy like it just plays the same as guardians of the galaxy. Like I just know he could I know he would be great at it.
kat 34:24
Yeah.
ryley 34:25
Just a few, uh, two more actually. Four Star one that goes “I want to be hot. go on adventures.” Same. And then last going at four stars. “Brendan Fraser King of Sexy him is.
kat 34:39
He's a real life Kronk.
ryley 34:41
He is and not to say that he is
kat 34:45
He's not he's not dumb. I think like this movie. Like how I feel about this movie is pretty straightforward. You know, I didn't really know much about the fact that it was like an homage to the original 1930s Mummy, but that makes it a little a little more, it makes it a little cooler in my mind, actually. And like that one person said, there's just so many hot people in this movie.
ryley 35:05
There are. It's amazing. I agree with everything you said, I have nothing to add other than that.
kat 35:10
I, let's see. Three out of five.
ryley 35:13
You're doing three out of five?
kat 35:14
Four out of five.
ryley 35:16
I'm doing a five out of five. Well, you know what, actually four out of five. I'm gonna agree with you. Because five out of five. That's pretty high. I love this movie, it’s nostalgic. I love it. We love our Brendan Frasier this is a 4 out of 5 movie. Love it.
kat 35:29
Yeah, honestly. Do you think we should change it to like out of 10? Does that give us more space to do it or no?
ryley 35:35
It does give more space. I'm going to do
kat 35:39
Seven out of 10.
ryley 35:40
Seven out of 10? I’m going to do eight out of 10. Because I feel more comfortable with that.
kat 35:44
Yeah, we're officially switching our ratings to out of ten.
ryley 35:47
You hear- You heard it here. First. The rating system has changed. Now out of 10.
kat 35:52
Do you have any other any other things to add before we move on? I mean, before before we wrap it up?
ryley 35:58
Nope. I I said everything I needed to
kat 36:01
Me too. You know, if you've never seen the Mummy and it's not nostalgic to you, you might come into it thinking it's gonna be cheesy. It's just gonna be like hokey and tropey. But just keep in mind. You don't have to critique movies, you don't have to tear them apart. Sometimes you can just enjoy them, and let them entertain you. Also, if you're curious, I encourage you to look into Brennan Frazer's career and how things went and go support him online. Because he has real- a lot of people rallied around him last year and like, it makes I've seen clips of him like talking about how people have, like rallied around him and how he's found out how many people actually support him coming back and like having a resurgence of his career. And it's very sweet. He just seems like a very sweet guy.
ryley 36:44
Go send him love.
kat 36:46
Go get obsessed with him because he's adorable. And sweet.
ryley 36:50
He’s been wearing a cowboy hat recently. And I love it.
kat 36:52
Yeah, he wears- he wears a quirky little cowboy hat in his interviews. It's so cute. He's a sweet dude. He goes to like comic cons and stuff and like actually interacts with fans quite a bit.
ryley 37:02
Yeah, he's, he's very grateful for his therapists. He loves them. I'm on- my- Okay, bucket list. I need to meet Brendan Fraser and I need a picture with him.
kat 37:10
Yes.
ryley 37:11
And give him a hug.
kat 37:12
Yes.
ryley 37:13
If he wants one, I'm not gonna force him to hug me.
kat 37:16
But anyway, you know, watch the mummy. Let us know what you think you can talk to us on our social medias. You can message us on Instagram at Easy Bake takes. You can find clips of our podcast being posted on Tik Tok at Easy Bake takes as well. And thank you so much for listening. This has been Easy Bake Takes the podcast, I'm Kat.
ryley 37:34
And I'm Ryley.
kat 37:35
Easy watching out there. Bye.
ryley 37:38
Bye.